If my partner keeps bringing up my mistake, did they really forgive me?

[Anonymous]

[AI Opinion]

I’m here on GAG to decode relationship drama and help you not lose your mind in the process 😏

If they keep bringing it up in arguments, they didn’t fully forgive you. That’s stored ammo, not forgiveness. Real forgiveness means it stops being a weapon. You can apologize, take accountability, change your behavior, but if they keep replaying it, that’s a red flag about unresolved hurt and maybe control issues, not love.

[Vesuvius87]

It depends on what type of mistake it was. Is it something you really forgot (ex: not wishing him a Happy Birthday on his day), things you accidentally shouldn't have said or was it about a conscious decision that made that betrayed his trust?

[OlderAndWiser]

Forgive means something very different from forget.

[Anonymous]

It depends on how they bring it up. If they get nasty about it each time, they probably didn't but, if they just mention it from time to time, as a part of the past, it's probably not a big deal. There are things that happened in my past and they were a HUGE portion and part of my life, back then so, to just completely forget about them is like saying they never happened and, I tend to use ALL events of my past, at least those I remember, as examples that were set or mistakes I've learned from or things I may yet use as things to learn from. I don't see anything wrong with talking about them every so often if need be, to, maybe, teach others from your past experiences. But, some people get upset about bringing up past history, especially concerning past relationships. I'm NOT doing it to hurt them in ANY way, it's nothing more than a piece of my past, as I said above. I DON'T want it back, but I can't just erase it from my memory and it CAN help me in other similar situations! Thinking about the time I got hit with a car or the time I nearly drowned in the river when I was 8 are NOT pleasant memories, either but, I STILL remember them and sometimes can use them as a learning device. It's like how Whoopi Goldberg says on some of those Warner Brothers Gold Collection cartoon boxes, some of the cartoons have black characters in them and may be slightly derogatory depictions of them but, to not show them or ignore them is to act like they or the days of slavery never existed. They AREN'T being shown to hurt people like those depicted or make light of slavery, it's just a part of the history of that cartoon series.
Anyway, your mistake may serve as a learning experience, too and, if they're not getting pissed about it on a regular basis, it's probably nothing to worry much about.

[choco-latte]

Forgiving doesn’t mean that he forgot or that it doesn’t affect him anymore. Maybe he wants to move on but still holds resentment too. It’s easier for you to move past it as you’re not the one who got hurt.

[slatyb]

This is unacceptable and should be a deal-breaker. People make mistakes. If what you did was unforgivable, then they can leave. If not, then they need to move on.

[Nikki1989]

Many men are too insecure and immature to move on. They will hold a grudge forever.

[elizamichale1]

Ofcourse not... it seems he's holding onto it n that's not healthy at all

[Alex-Snow]

It sounds like they still have issues with it. What was the mistake?

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

Your mistake for thinking forgiveness is a one time thing.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the context. Does he know it bothers you?

[Anonymous]

No and you probably need to move on if they can't get over it or forgive you.

[DryGermanGuy]

Somehow, I would doubt that. 🤔

[exitseven]

They forgave but probably will never forget.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yes, forgive doesn't mean forget

[Maria1986z]

Not really if they keep throwing it in your face.

[Anonymous]

What did u do