How do I heal and trust again as a single mom after a failed marriage?

[Anonymous]

I've been separated from my husband for 3 years now after I found out he'd been cheating on me whilst I was pregnant with our daughter.

he's moved on and married the other women and started a family with her which really hurt as I love our baby girl and no matter what he did i still think she deserves a daddy that loves her but he treats her as if she's not his and doesn't want much to do with her now he has his new life so I pour all my heart and soul into being the best parent possible to her and I love her so much.

For the last 3 years its literally just been me and her and no one else. I've done everything by myself and not even considered dating as I find it hard to trust men anymore and dont feel worthy of love and romance.

I hate my body ever since I had my baby girl. Im covered in stretch marks and saggy bits. Im not the women I once was.

A couple months back an ex colleague of mine messaged me asking how I was and if id like to meet up for a drink sometime. I knew he always used to have a crush on me when we worked together but I kept it professional out of respect for my husband at the time even though I was flattered.

I told him i have a daughter now but he didn't seem to care and still wanted to meet up and even insisted on paying for a babysitter for me which was really sweet of him.

When on the date he admitted he'd always liked me and now he knew I was single again he thought it was his opportunity to try to start a relationship with me. he's been super respectful and kind the whole time we've been dating and understands i want to take things slow especially because of my little girl. I don't want her thinking she's got a new daddy just for him to leave again so I've decided to hold off with them meeting yet plus its nice to not have to be mummy for a couple hours and speak to someone my own age.

he's really successful now and travels a lot as a photographer and he's still really handsome I don't really know what he wants with a single mother

[Anonymous]

Ok maybe I’m reading this all wrong but even if you weren’t married at the time I don’t even think you would have dated this man. But now sounds like you’re struggling, you need help, things are hard, you’re willing to give this man a chance. You need to think do I really like him cause I’ve always liked him or because of the situation I’m in. Would you have ever given this man a chance when he was younger, when you were younger, no child, single. I ask because for some reason you felt it was necessary to bring up he’s successful. To me that would be a red flag in a girl.
Id love to hear the father’s version because let’s be honest everyone tends to passing their self e a favorable brush like I was the best person, I didn’t do nothing. I didn’t argue w the person or yell at them. I did everything for them. That’s usually never the truth.

[Asker]

Oh ffs I said he was successful because I couldn't understand why hed went to be with a woman like me. "Damaged goods ". I never said I was struggling at any point I actually said the opposite but I've done it all by myself for the last 3 years.

I liked him too , I even said I was flattered but he had a crush on me when we first met but i kept it professional out of respect for my husband at the time. Im sure you'll twisted that too and say Im not better then my ex for being flattered its basically the same as cheating on your pregnant wife and starting a new family and being a deadbate baby daddy.

he's a photographer not exactly wolf of wallstreet is it i just said successful as in he's got his shit together why should i date a loser?

[Asker]

Plus i never asked for your opinion on me and my exs relationship and why we broke up thats literally none of your business.

I asked how I can basically trust men again but looks like you've helped me prove my point on that onr but some men will never change there mindset.

What happened to being a descent person. I bet youd never say them kinda of things to a single mother if you weren't behind a keyboard... coward

[Opinion Owner]

lol this is why it’s irrational to talk to a lot of women. Women tend to say they’re more emotionally intelligent than men when they really aren’t. You can’t even control your anger. I responded w what I thought from reading all this. But because you don’t like my response you’re going off on a tantrum. You could have asked ok I can see how you’d think o that, but what can I do to make it kit appear that way as I really do like him. As a single mother could I make things more inviting, to better the chances of this turning into something real. I’m asking this as. Man who has been w his wife for 19 years who was also a single mother of 1 when I met her. I wish you luck though.

[Asker]

You literally implied but im a gold digger and put there must have been so reason my husband cheated on me whilst I was pregnant with his daughter.

Maybe instead of analysing my response maybe you should think before you type. by the way being condescending doesn't win your argument

[Opinion Owner]

Actually I would. It’s called being accountable. I have. Women just don’t like it when they’re questioned about what they did or didn’t do. That as men we’re supposed to just take their word for it, to never question them. But it doesn’t work like that. Especially these days w men wising up to what a lot of women do to manipulate men, playing the victim. Amazing how you can say a lot of things about an ex but when questioned about what you did or didn’t do you get offended. To you it may not matter but it certainly does to a lot of people, especially men who would possibly date you.

[Asker]

You sound like a sexist pig 🐖 as if you not talking to woman is your personal choice

[Asker]

Im playing victim... you've literally just implied my ex husband is a victim for cheating on me whilst pregnant. Incel logic 101

[Opinion Owner]

Ok so I did. What’s wrong w that. I have to take all things into consideration to make a sound judgement. I don’t know you. Again you could have said ok I understand how that sounds, but that wasn’t what I was implying. You can’t control your emotions. So maybe that’s what happened w your marriage,.

[Opinion Owner]

Now we’re getting to why things didn’t work out w your ex. You don’t have to say anything else. Lack of accountability on your part. I’m the victim. You feel as though you failed your daughter. Everything is sexist to women when men question their roles. Amazing how that works.

[Opinion Owner]

lol incel logoc. Yes cause being married for 19 years says incel. Who’s lacking logic here.

[Asker]

You really want to know why my husband left. Its really none of your business but he wasn't happy with a condition are daughter has and didn't see her as good enough, that's why he cheated and wants nothing to do with us. Not but there needs to an excuse for a man cheating but you obviously think there is.

she's my beautiful angel and I don't need to prove anything to you. Your a horrible little and i hope you find god one day instead of rushing to judgmental assumptions on people's lifes

[AgentG111]

Tiger stripes are sexy!

[Anonymous]

Just take it slow. If he likes you, he understands why and will respect that. If he doesn’t then you know not to trust him.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle messy heart stuff and remind you how damn lovable you are.

Your ex didn’t break your worth, he just exposed his red flags in HD. You’re not “a single mom he settled for,” you’re the woman he waited years to finally shoot his shot with. That’s not pity, that’s long-term crush energy.

Healing and trust come in baby steps, not lovebombing. Keep doing exactly what you’re doing: slow pace, no rush with your daughter, watch his consistency, not just his words. A man who offers to pay for a babysitter so you can breathe a little? That’s green-flag behavior.

Your body? It literally created a whole human. That’s goddess-level, not “saggy bits.” The right guy is going to find that insanely attractive, because it’s part of your story, your strength, your softness.

You don’t need to feel “worthy” first to be loved. Sometimes being loved gently is what teaches you you’ve always been worthy. 💕

[jahaims]

You pick weak men. Just stay single

[Asker]

there's always one isn't there