Hes 38 I'm 19

[Anonymous]

hi guys. listen I have a question for you. I'm 19 years old the man I am seeing is 38. Now I know this seems crazy, and believe me it is. I do love him and I want to know what you guys think. I don't act like my age though. I know I should be partying and going out a lot plus I lost a lot of my friends well they weren't really friends obviously. He tells me that I don't act 19 either. I know I'm not a bad looking person either I'm slim and pretty. I also do NOT have low self esteem. We both connect on a similar level and relate to a lot of the same things. Now here's probably the worse part or what you will think is the worse part, he's also my boss at work. This is where I met him and we had started to hang out can you guys give me some feed back on this situation. thanks!

Updates

+1 y

thanks guys I know this is really wrong but now I'm stuck because I can't just end it.He'll probably fire me. Where I am at right now I NEED this job there's no questioning of getting another one. I'm already working two jobs right now what do I do? HELP!

[Mellene]

I know a couple who have 20 year difference in age and they are absolutely fine. But they knew each other for years before got together, she is 22 and he is 43 if I'm correct.

In your situation the worst thing is - he is your boss and you act older than you are...

It is understandable for him to be mature because of his age, but are you ready to be serious till you actually become old and there's no time for silly games? (tho I believe in young spirits!)

You won't be 19 forever, and you won't be able come back to this age after years

so my advice for you would be - have fun! And for the boss part - if you don't mix work with relationship than it's good. Be formal at work, don't make others be curious about what's going on, people like to gossip.

My personal opinion would be - I know age is not a big deal if there's a chemistry between people,

but you need to think about this seriously - 19 years is a big difference, it's not only numbers, it's all the experience he has gained and he probably went through a lot in his life till he became 38, and you still need to see life.

[seregiel]

Um - the fact that you feel that you're stuck and if you end the relationship he will fire you, is the reason that you NEED to quit more than you NEED the job. Money is good and all, as is not getting into debt and making ends meet, but your personal well being is at risk if you are in that position and not in the control of the situation.

In terms of loving him, if you loved him you wouldn't be listening to people's advice on whether or not to do so because you already made up your mind, and justified/rationalized it in your mind. Overall, I agree with Mellene. I've been in relationships like yours, with much older guys, and it worked out fine when the relationship exsisted. I'd say relationship wise IF this was a good one (which it doesn't sound like it is from that addition about being fired) enjoy it, but don't be suprised if because of where you are in your lives/the life experiences you have acrued compaired to him or vica versa that the attraction wanes in the long run.

[jr18462]

I'm not a guy, but it seems like you may have some doubt about this relationship or you wouldn't be asking this question. First of all, there is something wrong with him dating a 19 year old. I know you said that you relate on a similar level, which tells me that he is way more immature than he should be at 38. Trust me, he's with you because he can't relate to women his own age for whatever reasons.

A note about losing your friends. PLEASE DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN. You will so regret it later in life. I know you probably think they should have hung around, but a person gets to apoint where they get sick of waiting. I"m sure if you went back to them they would take you back. So many girls make the mistake of giving up their friends for guys and most of the time, they end up alone. This guy isn't going to fufill all of your needs in life, you need to do that. Without friends when he is gone, you will have to endure alone.

[Sassafras]

GET OUT NOW.

Bad, bad, bad situation.

Not only are you WAY too young for this guy - I don't care how mature you think you are at 19, a 38-year-old is at an entirely different point in his life and is probably just using you as a 'trophy', to stroke his own ego, or due to sexual interest - but he's your BOSS!

NEVER, under any circumstances, date your boss! What happens if things don't work out? Or if you guys fight? He could start blackmailing you for heaven's sake! You could be out of a job if he is controlling or wants to manipulate you.

You need to end it now. Not only are you putting yourself in a corner because this man is your boss, but you're also throwing away valuable youth! You are not ready to be dating a 38-year-old at 19. I'm sorry, but it's the truth.

[Dragonblood21]

This just isn't a good idea.

I would have to agree with the majority of people replying, that there is probably a reason he can't find someone his own age and is deciding to pick up someone who is much younger than him.

I don't know much else to add for you, but your youth years don't last very long. Date your own age group while you still can.

[Limey]

I believe you when you say you don't act your age. You sound like your acting younger than your age. Any normal 19 year old would be able to tell they are dating a losser.

[Lost38]

If you really like them it can work out I don't see where it couldn't me and my husband I mean we are getting divorced but it's five years later he's 24 I'm 38 so it's not too much difference the thing that was bad with that our relationship was my kids so if you guys just have each other I don't see what the problem is give it a shot

[Anonymous]

There is nothing wrong with any age difference if the two people are happy.

But, dating your boss was stupid.

[joejoe123123]

Terrible idea...

[Anonymous]

yuck.