My girlfriend thought I was going to hit her?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend was over and we were laying on my bed. I moved my hand, not even near her. But when I raised it she flinched and said "Please don't hit me." I'm still sort of shocked and I didn't know what to do. I've asked her before this If she's ever been abused and she hasn't. I never even came close to hitting her. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

That reminds me of a time back in college I was in my friend's dorm drinking with a few friends and getting wasted. There was this exchange student chick from Japan who we were hanging out with, and I put my hand up to give her a hi-five and she freaked out and dodged down to avoid me like I was going to hit her. I was dumbfounded and felt guilty for freaking her out and not realizing what kind of culture shock that might have been for her. I guess they don't do high-fives in Japan. My friends and I reassured her that I wasn't going to hit her, we were cool after that.

My guess is talk to her about it and ask her why she thought you would have hit her. I can't imagine you moving "not near her" would have caused her to panic unless she doesn't fully trust you.

[Tryce]

Maybe you're just thinking it wrong.

Perhaps your girlfriend is that type of girl who's into a certain fetish? Or she thinks you're into a fetish. Gentle slaps and whatnot in a particular manner has some "fetish" meaning. Not too sure about that... Softcore? xD

[RosaliaVanderbilt]

Only a man would say this. Disgusting.

[jadejess]

I'm thinking that she must have been abused previously, even if she says she hasn't. She may just be lying to you so you don't pity her or she may have even hidden it away in her own memory. But people don't just automatically assume that you're going to hit them or flinch away unless they've had something happen to them in the past.

[cun7n1nja]

That's what I was thinking too.

[MizzVMN]

Don't bull sh*t, have you ever hit, pushed, pinned her down or anything. A person doesn't flinch like that if a person has never intimidated him or her.

If you haven't, she's probably been hurt in the past, maybe she doesn't want to tell you for personal reasons. Be concerned, and make sure she knows she safe with you.

[RosaliaVanderbilt]

She could be lying to you about the abuse, but little things can set it off. Something happened to me that was not abuse that made me very scared of men for a while. Assault, often leads to reactions like your girlfriend's.

[xnikkixstarrx]

I think she has I was and I've never told my boyfriend we've been together 2 years and have a baby I still flinch when he raises his hand or reaches for something try talking to her