Never had a girlfriend. Is that pathetic?

[Anonymous]

I'm 22 and NEVER had a girlfriend, and it's NOT because I didn't want one. I've never even had a date.

I've put myself out there and made attempts and have never been wanted.

The fact that has (and IS) taking me SO long to even get a date, is that pathetic? Why SHOULDN'T I feel bad about myself? Because I DO and I feel like other people look down on me for that.

[Catie101]

no. the right woman hasn't come along yet. you don't just want to meet some girl, you want to meet the right girl for you and I'm sure it will work out that you do meet someone who makes you truly happy and not regret having been single for so long. take this time to find yourself and focus on your hobbies. I'm not saying stop looking for someone but stop putting the pressure on yourself to be with someone and let the pieces fall where they may.

[Asker]

But how can you be so sure that it will though?

[Catie101]

theres so many people out there! if you keep your mind open to new experiences and new people and you don't go around flaunting your insecurity eventually there will be people who take interest in you, especially if you take interest in them. be a kind and genuine person and know yourself. if you put your heart on the line and allow yourself to be vulnerable chances are someone whos right for you will take the opportunity to snatch you up.

[Asker]

I've been doing EXACTLY what you just said and it hasn't worked. I've done all of that.

And what do you mean the RIGHT woman? Explain, because it's SUCH a vague phrase.

[Catie101]

just because you have been doing it doesn't mean it won't happen eventually. I have started taking a new vitamin and I don't see results yet but apparently you don't start seeing results for a month, same with this, the results are not instant it may be years down the road! and the right woman would be someone who you get along with very well, you both feel a connection and trust each other a lot and have similar values and want to be together. you wouldn't mesh well with every woman there is a right

[Asker]

I don't want to have to wait years just to go on a date. It all goes back to the point of this whole topic. How come the only girl who will date me is ms. RIGHT? Why can't I have a ms. RIGHT NOW like everybody else does?

[Catie101]

my only other suggestion being, go to new places, make conversation with people, try an online dating site, friend acquaintances on Facebook or another social networking site. meeting new people is important since you obviously aren't meeting the RIGHT people RIGHT now. but remember that people aren't receptive to negative and insecure people. people gravitate towards happy and confident looking people.

[Asker]

You didn't answer my question

[Catie101]

im sure you could have a ms. right now if you were sending off the right signals such as happiness, and confidence.

[Asker]

But when I'm with people I AM happy and confident

[Asker]

Maybe I'm coming on too strong. But since when is talking to someone and being happy too strong?

[Catie101]

im sorry I can't tell you any more reasons because I don't know you personally, just don't get discouraged. you will get a girl eventually.

[Asker]

Please don't tell me I WILL - because that's a promise that might not come true

[Asker]

I'm sorry, I disagree with you. Putting your heart on your sleeve is terrible advice. That's exactly how girls step on it.

[Suzie884]

Please don't feel pathetic. And don't look at your peers and think it's a good thing that they get to hook up with random girsl.. Now that's pathetic. You just haven't found the right girl yet. I feel what your going through because I'm the same. I'm 21 and never been in a proper relationship either. But just take life as it goes

[Asker]

Isn't telling myself that I haven't found the right girl yet just making excuses for myself?

[Suzie884]

No I don't think it's an excuse why you blaming yourself?

[Anonymous]

I'm 22 and never had a boyfriend. The guys I like don't like me back, but the ones I don't do. Tis life. Sigh.

[foolycooly1001]

I think you're probably not putting it in perspective. If you think of it statistically, it is not that weird if you've asked out 10 girls that none have said yes. On internet dating sites, normal guys could ask out fifty women and not get a response. You haven't told us anything about your technique, attributes, or statistics.

[Asker]

Ok, I'm getting conflicting advice. You're saying I should ask out lots of girls, but the girls are saying be patient and let the right girl come along.

So which is it?!

[foolycooly1001]

Girls take a passive role in dating usually. Men have to ask out women if they want dates. If you're looking for advice, my advice is to use online dating as well as offline dating, and study blogs on how to get responses. I would steer clear of pickup artist stuff. Unless you just want to get laid, in which case pickup artist techniques can be successful. There are so many things that could be causing your problem; I just don't know what advice would be wasting your time. I think the majo

[foolycooly1001]

rity of the advice on geeksdreamgirl.com under geek's guide to dating is good. If you are in a city, I think online dating is the best answer to your problem.

[Asker]

No, online dating has been a horrible experience.

[kaylakinsify]

Please don't look at yourself so negatively! it's DEFINITELY not pathetic and those who think so are not worth your time. Thing's happen for a reason and it's possible your just at the wrong place at the wrong time or possibly asking the wrong sort of people. Confidence is key, believe in yourself and what you have to offer. I'm sure you'll make someone a very happy lady one day, just give it time bud!

[Asker]

Well what if I'm ALWAYS at the wrong place or the wrong time? I don't believe in fate, so that could happen

[kaylakinsify]

You won't always be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It may continue happening for a while than one day you will be at the right place at the right time. Don't worry

[Anonymous]

No it's not pathetic. I didn't have a girlfriend for 24 years until I had one for 2 years. Then I didn't have another one until 2 months ago.

[Anonymous]

yes you are. I know my answer sucks, but it is true. I hope the best for you.

[Asker]

Hahahaha

[beerY33]

Not pathetic--lots of others in the same boat.

[Asker]

I feel pretty pathetic, especially when I look around and all my peers AT LEAST hookup

[beerY33]

well, dwelling on this isn't going to get you anywhere

[CAUser]

No its not pathetic. You shouldn't be so negative.

[Asker]

Well isn't it pathetic compared those who get dates easily?