How can I make this frenemy jealous?

[Anonymous]

this 'friend' that calls me one of her best-friends is really getting on my nerves! she thinks she's better than everyone and she tries so hard to be loved by everyone. I feel like the odd one out because I'm the only person that I know of that hates her so much!

I'm not exactly popular and when I finally started a conversation with a guy... just as friends she jumps in and embarrasses me using my secrets that she manages to get out of me. this happened 3 times with 3 different guys. she brags about how many friends she has and she tend to leave me out a lot. I'm the only one in the group that gets to know everything last if ever.

now I just want to show her that I've changed and have my own friends... I want to kind of make her jealous in a way. so how do I do that without being a b*tch?

[TheChristian]

Hi there, I have another prspective for you. Its obvious that you do not think that your frenemies behavior is normal. So instead of using this as a reason to hate her maybe its a reason to realize that she needs help. It sounds like she is desperately seeking attention from others and she doesn't necessarily focus on the more important things in life. I think you need to separate the issues you stated above because there is a lot going on here. One I don't think your frenemy thinks that she is all that I think she is seeking attention, two I think that you have to be smart who you trust as a friend if she is revealing things that you don't want revealed then don't tell her and third you need to look at your need to want to make her jealous. Is it possible that you are jealous of her? I was once like you in terms of being part of a group of friends that I always felt like I found out about things last and was left out and I was always jealous of their friendship but then I realized that it wasn't that I didn't fit in with them it was that they didn't fit in with me. I now only hang out with them for specific reasons that we have in common, I have other friends for other things that I enjoy doing and now that I am married I have the ultimate best friend. So my point is that I think you are looking at this all wrong. Instead of wanting to get back at her the focus should really be on you and why what she does affects you so much. Move on with your new friends, still be her friend if she needs you (not revealing anything more about yourself lol) and move on. Believe me if God wanted you to be BFFs with them then he would have but I'm sure that they are probably doing things that you don't agree with, don't want to do or would harm you in some way hence why you have not done what most girls are doing and change yourself to fit in and be a follower of the group. So you should also be proud of yourself ! God Bless

[Asker]

thankyou! your answer made a lot of sense :)

but I'm sure I'm not jealous of her, she does come off as an attention seeker and she cares too much about the outside and how people see her. and I don't really agree with how she's treating me. she always looks like the innocent one whatever she does.that's why I wanted revenge but I guess I better move on with my life :)

[TheChristian]

lol good choice especially based on your last statement that she ends up looking innocent, you may try to make her jealous and then you end up making yourself look bad lol...we don't want that. Chalk it up to life experience and move on, don't share anymore secrets and be happy you're not a follower !

[Asker]

:) agan thankyou! this made me think twice about probably ending up looking bad... agian!

[Anonymous]

you are smart to have taken the time to be thoughtful about how how you will be perceived. There are so many insecure and controlling people who are shallow and selfish. They are really lost people who are in desperate need of the wrong kind of affirmation. Now that you know this type of person you will see the red flags in others and keep them at a distance.

[LoveBambi]

Why do people have "frenemies"? If you don't like someone don't hang around them pretending to be their friend.

[Asker]

not if all your closest friends love her... I have no choice! it's either pretend or look like a loner.

[quote]

The best way is to just "Walk." Make other friends and politely ignore her if she buts in on your conversation.

Treating a person with polite indifference is the most powerful weapon available because it sends a strong message but somehow the receiver finds it impossible to attack you because there is nothing to attack!

Just try it but you MUST stick to it at all times. Do not be tempted to "give in" whatever the temptation. If you are asked a question, just answer it as politely and simply as possible and say no more. In other words do not engage in conversation as such. If someone else is present, just turn and converse with them without appearing rude.

[Asker]

awesome answer :)

[Anonymous]

link

[Anonymous]

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