My boyfriend spends TOO MUCH money on me.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend isn't the richest of men, Which is fine by me as I am only a full time student and I'm always broke anyway. He will ALWAYS buy me stuff, We've been together 8 months (almost 9) and In that time he's brought me so much. Little things and expensive things too! He always pays for me when we go out for the evening, and he says it's because I'm a student and just have no money and I tell him that when I'm earning I will happily reciprocate the generousness. But I do think he spends too much in the mean time, Just this past week he's brought me, a few lunches, sandals, a new game, spent about £60 in the arcades, cinema tickets, batteries, and in the past he even brought me a little scooter to get to college and placement (which my parents told him to sell as they won't allow me to have it, So I think he's fixing it up and flogging it) He's brought me hamster cages for my hamsters, clothes, sweets and chocolates. Just lots of little things which always add up to a lot. We don't have sex that often, I only see him 2 weeks out of the month as he works away, But I have to admit, even when we have a dry patch on sex (usually a dry patch would last a month or so) The sex would always be as passionate and loving as ever. I do love him, no matter how much we may bounce off each other sometimes. We do have the odd argument here and there but we always get back together. All in all I think he spends far too much on me and I don't like How I can't do the same. His birthday is this month and I only have £20 to spend on him. Which is pretty much pennies compared to the amount he spends on me. I'm trying to get a part time job to fit in with my college course too but it seems so very slow in the vacancy department.

[Pedantic]

If you told him he spends too much, what if he told you back that you are too materialistic to have counted it all?

I'm not trolling you or being facetious here; I'm pointing out there is a possibility he relates to material things in an entirely different way than you relate to them, perhaps because he has more money or always had more money and means less to him.

I have had this experience too, from your perspective. Money is a big thing, it doesn't grow on trees, and I measured it carefully and it only came slowly through hard work. One day I met a girl who really threw it around and would give me things that made me say "Gosh, this is SO expensive! You shouldn't have!"

I learned later she came from a very upper class family, complete with servants and the like, and my gratitude was worth more to her than the cost amount of the present, and that is really just how she thought.

I don't know anything about your boyfriend, but consider your situation carefully. He could be a playboy who throws his money away, but on the other hand, it sounds from yoru description that he works pretty hard for it and understands the value of it. Maybe he feels you are worth it?

[Asker]

He says he knows it makes me happy because I cannot afford it and that he would rather be skint but as long as I was happy it would be Ok.

But Yeah somethings make me happy, But I'm happy to just have him

[Pedantic]

Sometimes for givers, we must learn how to receive also :)

[kheserthorpe]

Talk to him.

My guess is its the most natural way for him to show love. But its a bad habit.

[BravoHawk]

Just be faithful to him and break up with him first if you want to kiss someone else... Treat him with respect and concern and it will all be worth it to him... He will enjoy it:)