Is my boyfriend getting tired of me?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and we love each other a lot.. we want to get married some day. he used to tell me this all this time and reassure me how much he loves me. last year he went on vacation and he would tell me how much he misses me and can't wait to see me. lately he hasn't been doing these things, he doesn't mention marrying me unless I say something about it, he doesn't tell me that he loves me as much as he used to, and now he is on vacation he hasn't told me that he misses me unless I say it first. I've told him that I feel like he doesn't love me as much as he used to and he says that he does and gets kind of annoyed when I say things like this, and his response sometimes will be "I'm still with you aren't i? I still feel the same as I did yesterday and a week before that and a month before that".. but I'm just not feeling the love.. I'll tell him I love him with all my heart and he will respond with "love you 2". is he falling out of love with me?

Updates

+1 y

by the way I'm 19, he's 21

Updates

+1 y

he also used to send me long messages telling me how much he loves me and stuff but he doesn't do that anymore... when I told him this he says he will try to, but he hasn't done it. I'm feeling extra distance between us now that he's away on vacation

[harleyq25]

I go through the same thing, like almost work for word same thing! Guys sometimes feel they show there love in other ways and think that that should be good enough ( paying for things stuff like that) He still loves you its just your both comfy with each other now he feels comfy with you and figures you know he loves you. I know it sucks when you feel like that spark has faded and you don't know how to get it back. I still have days when I think man, he use to love texting me on his lunch break or he use to rush home and say he missed me all day but not anymore, but the love is still there. I just try to suprise him and re light that spark once in awhile. I will make dinner and dress up all sexy so when he gets home its something new or if he gets me from work I tell him its my treat lets go out for a drink and its something small but he loves it. Maybe talk with him by asking if he feels its different betwen you? ask if he feels like you don't act the same? don't bring it up as hey your being diff or your being wrong... if guys feel like your bashing them they stop listening lol good luck

[Asker]

i do bring it up to him and he does say "i guess you don't see all the other ways I show you love", but I just want the old him back :(

[harleyq25]

I know that feeling, but sometimes we have to grow into the relationship and leave the honeymoon faze in the past, I know that bringing it up most likely stresses him out and it makes him even less likely to try and be that way with you.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend does the exact same thing to me. Plus he won't initiate really anything anymore unless i do.
by the way, how long ago was this question? I feel a bit out of date lol

[_lightness_]

he's probably just comfortable in the relationship and doesn't seem to think he needs to try as hard.

[katylaura]

not necessarily, maybe you two have settled in to a comfortable rountine and he no longer feels that constant reassurance is necessary. if it's bothering you though, it's not good enough. make sure you tell him how it's making you feel, without any crying or whining that will annoy him as it has before, and be honest. ask him outright whether he wants to be with you. you'll soon get your answer.

[Asker]

i have asked him if he wants to be with me and his answer is yes.. maybe you are right as he has said something similar to what you've told me, but I don't think its right that he doesn't try to be as loving as he was before if that's what makes me happy. I'm dealing with what makes him happy which is him not showing as much love as he did before.

[The_Box]

Well it sounds like it.

As long as you don't turn around and tell me that I'm wrong because you forgot to list all the reasons he does still love you.

I mean you present a pretty one-sided look at things here. Based on this, it's not even difficult to answer.

[Asker]

well I know he cares about me, he does things that lets me know that he cares about me.. but I just feel like maybe he's falling out of love but still cares about me.. or he doesn't want to break up with me because he feels bad or something

[kheserthorpe]

Take the five love languages quiz. If the love is there but you're having trouble feeling it from each other, its pretty useful.

Reading about partners language can be helpful too.