He is married but won't let me go. What should I do! If I like him back! :O

[Anonymous]

I met a 32 year old guy at work three months ago. He is a police officer and I'm a junior college student working on my criminal justice degree. At first I did not know he was married. I would let him flirt with me and I would do a little flirting with me. We then started seeing each other after work, and we used to have these long, comfortable conversations. I always gave him respect as he did to me. I never kissed him or even hugged him. We wold laugh and just be happy with each others company. Months later I found out he was married. It never went to my head to ask him if he was in a relationship. I just assumed he was not. I asked him, and his answer was. Yes, I'm married. My heart sunk. I told him I could not see him or talk to him again. He said, " I'm sorry you have a bad impression of me now" ."its your choice if you don't want to talk to me"... Two weeks passed and we were talking again. I cannot believe this! ...He knows my work schedule. He visits me after work, and during work. We have these long conversations. but he won't stop flirting.. I really like him. I've never liked a married man in my life. I feel like a bad person! I'm talking to him as a friend, and he knows it. I make sure to mention it to him over and over again. but he doesn't help...I really enjoy his company and conversations. I've learned so much. What should I do! Why won't he see me as a friend!? Does he have strong feelings for me.I need help everyone!

[Frostie]

Cut it off. You're playing a game you are going to lose. He already has an edge over you. He is silver tongued. A sweet talker. Better quit tasting the sugar before you become an addict. It only has negative consequences later on. He doesn't have feelings for you. Chances are he'll get in your pants, and move on to the next girl, assuming his wife doesn't know, or is in denial. Being a police officer, that makes his buddies look bad. A man in uniform that is supposed to represent the law, isn't abiding by any of it. Example for someone in New York:

New York Penal Law Section 255.17 - Adultery.

§ 255.17 Adultery.

A person is guilty of adultery when he engages in sexual intercourse with another person at a time when he has a living spouse, or the other person has a living spouse.

Adultery is a class B misdemeanor.

link

If you like him back, nothing wrong with it, but don't sleep with a married man, or cheat with him. Nothing good comes from it for either of you. He isn't trust worthy ,and you can be hurt in the process. It is counter intuitive to go against what you want, but that's what makes life hard. We can choose to eat the donuts and get fat tomorrow or we can embrace the suck and work out every day and eat healthy. The choice is yours.

[boomshakalaka]

Let it go, if he doesn't care about his marriage, chances are he wouldn't care about you.

Don't put yourself on the spot where you're the bad person, besides if you get married someday and someone flirts with your husband you wouldn't like it neither (golden rule)

[Anonymous]

walk away, they always start off nice in these situations, I met a nice older guy and he was very respectful at first and at least he wasn't married but he just wanted to get in my pants and sometimes I wondered if he had a girlfriend :/ at least he didn't actually succeed at getting in my pants, and I confronted him and he says he does not have a girlfriend..i didn't think he actually did but you never know.

but this guy is married. married. married. get that through your head. you are going to lose and nothing can be gained. he can never be yours. let it go. please.

[hellokiki]

Walk away from him. Don't hook up with a married man. You'll get hurt in the end so it's better to cut things off right now.

[Anonymous]

If he's married, then you just really need to let it go.