I don’t want him to leave me for good?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend &i have been together for 8 years. i have a very difficult time with insecurities and anger issues. instead of healing them, i brought it upon my relationship. it’s always an argument about it and i always say i’m going to change and i never do. the past few weeks it’s been really bad. the month of May, he gave me a promise ring and i gave it back a few days ago bc i was angry and insecure. angry bc of the past and insecure in who i am as a person. i regretted it as soon as i gave him the ring. he’s heartbroken and upset about us. he says he always feels anxious around me and he thought he was comfortable around me but he was wrong. a few hours later he then agreed to give us another chance. he loves me but he can’t feed into my attitude anymore when he’s nice to me. he doesn’t want to deal with me mistreating him and belittling him, he wants me to respect him as a person and a boyfriend. maybe i’ll learn he said. he said you’re going to feel real guilty when the day i actually can’t deal with you anymore and leave you. i don’t know what to do at this point, any advice?

[Hürrem]

You are aware of your anger and insecurities. You tried to change but nothing happened. It won't change unless you are aware the cause of your emotions. Do you really love or care about yourself? I think you don't. Otherwise, you would have cared and your partner won't fell anxiety when he is around you.
Have you tried changing your routine? Try go have a walk everyday for few minutes, have fresh air and reflect yourself, do something that you don't usually do (maybe baking for your loved ones, show simple appreciation to them, talk to yourself once in a while in the mirror with positive thoughts, etc.). Explore more and love yourself more. It takes time for the change and its not a one day thing. I believe your anger/insecurities came from jealousy of something that you lack, and I believe you lack self-love and self-attention.
If you have those, you won't feel the insecurities, you won't even have the fear of your partner leaving you for good.

[Asker]

you are right about everything you said! i don’t have self love and l don’t have self confidence and my jealously i think it stems from everything combined. being insecure from my body, my mind, low self esteem, low confidence, i have no patience. and my boyfriend is really kind to me and i’m not so it’s sad. what should i do with him? should i just give him time to calm down or should i text him?

[Hürrem]

Yes give him time to calm down, let him know you are aware of what is going on. Apologize to him also for giving him stress/anxiety due to your insecurities. Let him know you are working towards being good to yourself and to him, it just needs time. You really need time for yourself, fix yourself first before going back to him until you are ready to go back with a reborn you.

[Avadarling]

[Avadarling]

My boyfriend is worried I’m getting fat. I’ve gained 25 pounds since we met. Here’s me yesterday

[Gagname]

You are beautiful.
Are you a good golfer?

[fiveinthemorning]

Maybe you’re both co dependent. Sounds toxic from what your describing. You have to find a way to improve your attitude towards him but. There’s always room for improvement no matter who you are. What would happen if you two spend some time apart? Would you two get back together out of convenience? Maybe focus on your career or something that’s really important for yourself other than fighting or building up frustration in a relationship out of anger or personal baggage. I think you both need time apart if you want some solid advice.

[Asker]

yes of course we need some time apart. we haven’t seen each other in 3 days so far. he’s not co dependent, i am for sure. i know i need to heal myself from within, but i never worked on it even though i knew i needed it. i just don’t want him to leave me bc of this even though i deserve it. i just don’t want him to bc i know i could be the fun person he wants me to be. he knows bc he sees it when i’m with family and friends.

[Avadarling]

Look at the pic I posted in this post. Does this outfit look bad on me? My boyfriend thinks I’m getting fat

[SiberFox]

Remember, it's you and him against the problem, not you and the problem against him.

[Asker]

:( yes you are right. i just feel like he’s going to leave me even though i asked him if he wanted to give us another chance and he said yes

[Avadarling]

Look at the pic I posted in this post. Does this outfit look bad on me? My boyfriend thinks I’m getting fat

[Asker]

😩**

[TheFlak38]

just another mental nutcase. And he waited 8 years? Any rational man would have been gone within weeks.

[Asker]

so you think he should leave me and not be with me?

[JakeS00]

I’d for real work on yourself this time.

[Asker]

yes i agree. he said he’ll give us another chance but i’m not sure if he’s being honest or he’s saying that to shut me up.

[JakeS00]

Well, I believe he’s telling the truth for giving you another chance. If you see yourself with him, then things need to be worked on.

[Asker]

i agree with you 110% not only for him but i need to work on myself for me too

[Asker]

bc i hate being this way with him

[JakeS00]

It’s hard sometimes but you can do it

[Anonymous]

Maybe you need to see a therapist?

[Asker]

i don’t have money for a therapist

[Avadarling]

Look at the pic I posted in this post. Does this outfit look bad on me? My boyfriend thinks I’m getting fat

[Anonymous]

yeah quit being a bitch to him