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I was in a similar situation myself. I am now 23 and she is 18. We do not have a sexual relationship and I am not interested in that right now. We meet about 1 1/2 years...maybe 2 years ago. It started out innocently...I own a paintball store and she came by just to look at the paintball things. She started asking for advice and my opinion on different things, nothing dirty or anything, just things about school and her other boy friends. She tried to date one of my employees who was just 2 years older than her and when that broke up she needed someone to talk to and that was a little awkward to me. I made sure I was never alone with her and that the conversations never went in the wrong direction. She works next door to the business I own so she would come over a lot after her work while she waited on her mom to pick her up. We have got to know each other over the time.
I did make sure her mom knew that she came over and over time her mom got to know me and knew that I was a honest guy and knew nothing would happen between us plus my other profession helped her mom feel safe about her daughter coming over after work. It was never for more than like 20 minutes a day anyways.
Be sure to check your state laws it might even be illegal for you to be with her!
I think it's fine. Our overbearing government on the other hand disagrees, and they'd love to tell you more about it several hours after you've had sex with someone they've decided is old enough to pilot a metal death machine known for killing roughly 40,000 people each year, but not old enough to do what their body is telling them they should be doing. xD
For your own sake, find someone 18+ or write your congressman with a *really* persuasive argument about why they should lower the age of consent.
im 21 my boyfriend is 30, there's nothing wrong with a gap in age at a approriate time. 16 is still a little young I've dated 20 year olds at 16 and now I look back and I'm disapppointed in the guys. Wait till she's a little older before you guys date, I think when she turns 18 it would be the best time. It doesn't sound so bad 22 with an 18yr old that's normal but 16 nahhh she needs couple years to catch up. And she will be of legal age to make decisions, in my job of law I've witnessed many parents okay and trusting at the beginning but turn will quick into a problem you don't need the drama. Good luck if you like her wait two years is my advice to date be friends no sex! and wait the years go by fast. And if she dates other people I'm sure when your ready for her she will come back around to you because your the one she couldn't have, and that makes you irresitable. Plus her parents will love you for having sense and will trust you
I don't think age should be a problem, but there are a few things to consider like how old she acts and such. You should also ask yourself why you like her, if it's her personality then fine but if you like maybe the fact that she still looks young then obviously, that seems a little dodgy so be careful. Also, do not go further until she is of age and ready to go further, you can't just expected it straight away when she is of age, she needs to be ready too.
Age wise however; I don't see a problem, I mean it shouldn't be too much because if she was 20 and you were 24 it wouldn't stop you two being together then because she would be fully developed physically and mentally and there would be no laws against it. It shouldn't be to different from that situation now, you've just got to be more careful with it.
My stepsister (16) is seeing a guy your age too.
They've been together for about a year now, and everything's cool.
But what I do think, is that the relationship is immediately more mature than a relationship between two sixteen year olds.
There is a little difference in their relationship tough... I'm pretty sure they are having sex, since my sis freaked out when she forgot to take her pill...
So, as long as you care for her, and love her and you're sure she does that as well there shouldn't be a problem.
It's just age... I mean, in a couple of years the difference will become less and less... When she's 18 and you are 22, people won't notice it anymore..
Good luck ^^
i have a question pretty much the same as yours.
But my personal opinion is,
if they make you happy,
then you shouldnt worry about age,
its just a number,
but do keep in mind that they are going through different times in their lives,
your paying the bills; they are trying to pass English exam.
things are different.
But if you care enough about the person,
a few years difference in age shouldnt matter too much,
im prefectly happy in the relationship I'm in,
im 17 and he is 22.
Opinion
23Opinion
I don't agree with it. Why?
Ok so 4 years age gap isn't that big but she's a child and your a man, I think its ok if she was 18+ and its 4 years age gap but its not is it?
She's 16, still a child. Still growing up. Still at school possibly? Still finding a lot out about herself, she's learning all these new emotions growing up. 16 years old is really babyish, I could never date a person that's 16 and I'm 21 years old I think its just sick
Your 20, a man now. Should have a job. You should have found a lot out about yourself by now, emotions matured much more then hers.
what possibly could you have in common with a school girl when your 20 years old?
When I was 16 years old I would never come home with a guy in his 20s and my father and mother would have went berserk.
that's kinda weird, to me. I think the fact that she's in high school a soph or junior and you're in college, soph or junior, is really weird. you should really date someone your own age or at least in college or 18 or something. I don't care how mature a person thinks they are at 16, but when they're 20, they can look back and see the difference. just because y'all aren't having sex, it doesn't mean you won't and isn't that illegal anyway? idk, man. it's whatever you want to do. I just think that you should probably be with someone older and maybe deep down inside you feel the same way which is why you're questioning it here.
First, take into account whether this is legal where you live. Different states/countries have different ages of consent. Because while you may not be having sex "now", it's really just "yet". And it will happen eventually. So sort this all out, and if it's illegal...just drop it. If it's perfectly lawful for you to date a 16-year-old, then keep this in mind: the campsite rule.
Campsite Rule dictates that you leave someone or something in better condition then how you found it. As the senior, you are obligated to not abuse, manipulate or mislead the minor knowingly. If anything happens, it's your ass. So be the adult and take care not to hurt her or take advantage of her.
So be careful, as this is some tricky terrain you're walkin through...
Depending on what state you are in, legally it probably won't be any issue as the majority of the states set the legal age as 16, contrary to popular belief that it is 18 (that is the age in which one may appear in or purchase porn as set by the federal government whereas age of consent is state by state). If you are worried about the social implications and what people will think, it varies from person to person, but a good formula to follow is your age (20) divided by 2 (10) plus 7 (17). Since she's one year under your lower limit so to speak society may frown upon it. As a side note, to get the upper limit you double the difference between your age and your upper limit (which is 3, doubles to 6, meaning at age 20 your socially acceptable dating range is 17 to 26).
if you were a bit older it would be fine, but at the mo, its just a little bit purvey. I know its unjust and there have been odder matches in the world (92 year old rock star and 18 year old friend of GRANDDAUGHTER!) but it might take some explaining for some people. her Parents for example, are they freaking out yet! What do her friends think? basicly, how is this relationship affecting the rest of her life, and what about her school work. 16 is a pretty important year for school. and you might not be having sex, but does she feel pressured because you are older and might expect more?
As long as you are a good fit for each other, that's ok, but think about the more complexed aspects of the relationship that might be affected by the age difference, like the difference in your maturity and views, it might get in the way sooner or later.
What?! So, going by your logic, I guess you could date an infant and it would be ok as long as you did not penetrate...DOUSCHEBAG! I'm sure that when their daughter who hasn't even been confirmed yet is statutorily raped by you who is obviously aware of the fact that you must be sexually Inadequate and socially stunted because no self-respecting man would stick it in (or give society the impression you are) a girl who has just entered high school. Good luck, I'm sure ill probably catch ur rapist ass on the news soon enough.
That's a tricky one. I know at sixteen I was more mature than most my age. When I was a Sophomore I dated older guys, but they were Seniors in highschool, not college guys. I think even if she's mature and not like other girls her age, you two are still in totally different stages of life. She's either a Sophomore or Junior, who's still living with her parents. Even if she's mature her thoughts are on things like Prom, college applications, getting a summer job, her friend's recent break-up, things like that. You're most likely in college and are preoccupied with paying your bills, studying, and getting used to life on your own. No matter how well you two get along I think the age difference will get in the way sooner or later. Not to be critical of you, but why would you want to date a high school girl when you're twenty? Most college people I know are glad to get away from high school.
its one of those things. once she hits about 20, a four year diffrence wouldn't be a big deal at all. but the gap between 16 and 20 is huge. its not so much about the numbers as it is life experiance. the average 16 year old in this country can't even drive a car, she's never had a real job (in fact she only JUSt became eligable to work in most states) and she's been under the gardianship of parents her whole life.
Your seeing someone that isn't quite there yet. Yeah, sure, she may be a very responcible and mature teenager, but she is still a teenager. Go and find someone who is an adult.
and BTW, since this seems to be contested on the rest of the answers. in the state of virginia, I know that a 16 year old is old enough to have consensual sex, and I believe (I am not sure, obviousely, as it is not something I have neeeded to know) that a 16 year may have consentual sex with someone up to the age of 21.
It's really bad, because she is under 18. I know a man who has a 16 year old daughter who just had a baby with a 23 year old man. The father of the teen mom pressed charges on the 23 year old guy, and the 23 year old guy got probation and had to register as a sex offender.
She is a minor and she is more trouble than she is worth.
4 years is not a big gap in age, but when you are talking 16 & 20 it is. She is still young. When I was younger I dated older guys. Now I look back and think "what the hell were these guys thinking?". For her own sake you should back off and let her grow up.
I think its wrong...she is impressionable and you will eventually have sex. That's the age difference my ex and I were when he got me pregnant he knew what he was doing as do you...just my thoughts. BTW when my parents found out I had to BEG them not to charge him with that crime...Not saying you have bad intentions just saying becareful
I think right now that the age differance is not appropriate. She has so many things she needs to focus on as far as school, PROM, college (if she's going), being a kid and what not before she dates someone who is your age. You will be turning 21 and will be able to go to bars or clubs. She won't be able to do that. Not only that but I think it's just weird to date high schoolers when you are out of high school. Down the road it won't be so awkward but right now it's just not right.
I think you are getting enough advice on both sides of this debate. Fact is, if you do decide to take it to the next step and her parents don't like it or she gets pregnant or something, her parents could have you put in jail. Statutory rape,man. Doesn't sound like much fun to me. Where are all the girls over 18?
I think it's funny how the opinions here differ with the ones where I live. I don't really see a problem, been there, done that, would do it again. It only matters how the two of you feel about it.
I'm from Holland but went to the US when I was in a relationship like that. Pretty much everyone I met was shocked and tried to convince me to stop it.
ugh! I'm sixteen, and really, my dad would pull out his gun if I dated a twenty year old! she is still in high school. you better watch out. have you met her dad yet?
i won't tell you what to do, but I suggest you think this through.. and think it through GOOD before you go "there" skippy.
Let her grow up! lol she's just a kid to date, trust me, you want a girl wo is mature...because a teenage who's just 16 has a LOT to learn and usually they are not serious in relationships and just take it as a fun time being in highschool..u have passed that time so you should knnow how it is, so she needs to reach her 20's in order to seriously get involved. Move on and find someone older than that!
Age shouldn't matter if you really care about someone. However, her being only 16, you could get in trouble if you were to have sex. I feel that at that age, kids should be more worrying about passing classes and college. Plus,I never thought too much about people out of high school dating high school kids. I would advise to maybe just stay friends and wait till she's 18. Two years really isn't that long. If it's meant to be, things will work out.
If I were her father then I would have problems with this. I see a horny guy trying to get into my little girl's pants and would have to shoot you :)
I think that only 4 years apart is not too bad. Because people say that she's still a baby and you're a grown man. Yes is true but only 20 and 16, thats ok. Next thing you know she's starts having sex with someone her age a 15 year old boy and he leaves her. What now is she still a baby? Is all about your intentions and your personality man. Age has nothing to do with who you are. You can be 20 with a good heart and positive intentions like marriage or 16 on probation selling weed with a gun and trying to get her pregnant to leave her or use her. Is all about how you feel about her. If you really care then sure but if is about sex you better off with somebody older to avoid a serious charge.
4 years is not bad. what is bad is her age!
u got her at a young age where she still prob can't think for herself as much as she would if she where your age!
u guys should break up after awhile of being together to let her and You know if that what you guys want!
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