I´m not used to being loved/taken care of?

[Anonymous]

I never had a boyfriend until now that I am 25. A couple of months ago I met a wonderful guy and we fell in love. He was my first date, my first kiss, my first everything. He knows this and is OK with this.

The problem is that I am so used to doing things on my own, I always go places alone, I travel alone, I go for walks alone, I do everything alone. And I´m so not used to being kissed and receiving hugs and cuddles and having someone who misses me and wants to be with me.

He wants to massage my feet, my back, he wants to go shopping with me, he tells me I´m sexy and I just feel so lost.

I love him and I try to do thngs for him all the time and I actually love that and prefer that because I always felt the need to love someone. I just never thought about someone loving me back and being so sweet and attentive as he is.

Whenever he tries to do something for me I get extremely uncomfortable because in my mind I´m not used to it and I feel like I don´t deserve it.

How can I tell him this? Would he understand? How can I become more comfortable being taken care of?

[Anonymous]

I know how you feel.. Because I've been there.

If you're really independent it can be hard to let others in to that extent. Tell him this - it's crucial that he undestands you love him and love spending time with him, it's just taking a while to get used to having someone around all the time.

And just take it slowly. Make sure you do make time for yourself - if he's around all the time and you're never alone anymore you'll feel claustrophobic and end up pushing him away.

If you make sure you have time for him and time for you, you'll be fine.

Over time just gradually increase the time you spend with him - still taking the occasional hour or day here and there for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Open up to him and tell him how you feel. It takes time for you to adapt to this as it's the whole new thing that you've never experienced before. just take it slow and take your time. everything will settle at some point.

[Racez]

I think you just need to voice this problem of yours to him. He's your boyfriend, and I'm sure he can understand. To be come more comfortable being taken care of, just spend more time with your boyfriend, and take things slowly one step at a time. Soon enough, you'll love the attention that he's giving you.