I object. Although there were many times in the past where I used the word "love" way too lightly, I've come to realize that it takes much quality time to truly love someone. I thought I loved them while we were together. But after we split it was more of a "i want some company" cry rather than "i want him...i miss HIM". Thus, I think that many people, men AND women, have BELIEVED they were in love, when really it was just a phase that easily faded because they did not genuinely love them as a person. They liked them very much, for whatever reasons, but didn't love them.
Just thought I'd add, after analyzing my past and realizing the above. For the first time in a relationship, I actually waited some time to tell my man that I love him. Rather than blurting it out the first times I thought in my head "man I love this guy" I just held the thought there. Let it wander in my head a while and sleep on it, just to see if that thought would ever efface. But instead my feelings for this man grew rather than faded. So I figured hey, I actually love this guy; not just like and enjoy him, I adore him.
So I understand where your opinion may come from, considering how loosely the big L word is thrown around. But that doesn't mean it isn't possible. It is just rare. I think that people (men AND women) crave love so badly, that they'll take what they can, and label it as love. They tend to stay in loveless, materialized relationships which prevent them from finding true love. But most know, that's not how love works.
It's impossible to measure emotions. Love must be measured as an action, not an emotion. Moreover, emotions change all the time. Love is something constant right? That's the difference between love and plain affection.
Love is much rarer than people think, and it also comes in many forms. Friendship is as real a form of love as a traditional love affair. In fact, friendship has a higher track record for genuine love than romantic relationships (in general). Now a romantic relationship done 'correctly' will have a more valuable form of love than even the best friendship possibly can, but the problem is that people often call relationships "love" simply because they are romantic kind and not because there is any love directly involved.
Romantic relationships that incorporate love MUST have friendship. Otherwise, they are simply an exchange of goods/security/provisioning for sex/status, which is what you're noting.
You need to see more relationships, because you haven't seen the "real" kind yet...but they do exist.
not true, I love my boyfriend with all my heart we've been together 3 years so its not that bs I love you fake crap most people spew out after a month either.
ive been head over heels in love once before then too with a guy I never got to date, I was in love with him for years but he only saw me as a friend and never did anything for me or did anything to make me feel special in any way, I loved his personality and how nice he was and how perfect he seemed.
only shallow people love the feelings others give them rather than the person; that goes both ways for both genders.
I have an objection. I love men.
I love their kindness, their ability to control their emotions and comfort others, their romantic natures, their protective instincts, their kindness, their minds designed to create new things and build worlds, their ability not to let life suck all boyish youth out of them, their chest and arms... ^^
I know women may seem like they only love this idealised image of a man and what they can get out of them, but that's not true. Women love men too, you just may need time to find women that do, is all.
Do you still love them, when they have a weak moment?
When THEY lean on YOU?
Do you gauge their physical and emotional well being and their pursuit to realize themselves in the world, as well as their hopes and dreams as just as important and essential to life as your own, and are you working to further and preserve all that by nurturing, protecting, providing emotional support, and giving your partner someone to rely on in a weak moment, because you admire them as a person?
I think that THIS is what loving someone means.
Not just the feeling when you look at them, but to act on that feeling by treating them like every aspect of their being is as important as your own. For THEM.
I think what this guy is getting at, is that many women only love the idea of an invincible man, who treasures their life and emotions more than his own, and who is so strong, that he never needs help.
But if you only feel love because of what someone DOES for you, the person you actually love is yourself.
@Journeyman11 notice she didn't respond to that question lol 🤣
@Journeyman11 no they would rather watch you die than see you fall down off your horse.. they don't even know what they want.. they dont even know what they are doing.. noone does.. because humans are slaves to their egos, to the stupid little voice in their head that tells them reality is such and such and so and so and noone can see past themselves.. people dont even know what they are saying and thinking and feeling until its too late. . especially women. they will tell you to be vulnerable and show emotion and be open but then they will resent you and not even know why.. they would rather see you die than fall down.. i swear.. a man is only useful to them if they are strong.. otherwise the world that revolves around their vaginas fall under threat... humanity makes me sick.. everyone and everything is backwards.. bunch of liars.. women literally dont take responsibility for their actions thats why they can say one thing and do another.. without recourse..
.. its like they are worse than children.. and children are great.. i mean women are infantile without the childlike innocense and thats a sad sight.. i dont hate women.. im just disappointed to be honest.. it is what it is.. luckily im a man so it doesn't even fuckin matter.. we go to war and we die.. while they get to sit home and ride the neighbor and justify it because their 9th grade minds aren't getting enough attention.. women need men more than men need women.. Men built the world.. and we are still building it.. what do most women do? other than having a giant sense of entitlement and sit upon their delusional "bad bitch" thrones hahaha. honestly this new feminism is great for real men.. women are the ones that are going to lose everything while men retire to their fortresses of solitude and build, think and produce.. I say good luck to all you future lonely crazy cat ladies.. too bad women can even be friends with other women.. its all pomp and for show hahaha. just wait another generation and see how bad it gets boys and girls.. we are just gettin started. ALL HAIL THE NWO.
i tend to agree. For all the women bitching on here, women like the idea of love, the courting, the magical first kiss, then the white dress etc.. Once they are done with that phase they want the providing the securing, especially the house. Then they want children. Those are theirs first and foremost. Not long after they feel sh*tty because life is not about just them anymore. They start to hate their guy, because let's face it, whenever a woman feels sh*tty it's always her man's fault. So then she thinks that's her right to take the guy to the cleaner and divorce. Then she can start it all over again. That's the long version, shorter versions exist.
As a man, I have learned that women take, but rarely give. And there is no love without giving.
This isn't true for all women. Some know that the symbols and ideals like the white dress etc have no real meaning or relevance in the reality of a one-to-one emotional connection, unless the couple invest the meaning in them together. Not all of us have planned our weddings before we met the man (though I know some who have...) ;)
I think where your bitterness stems from is the fact that women do not love like men. Or even like you specifically. But then I think self pity uprooted within you and you came up with this nonsense.
It's like saying men don't "love" women. They love the turn-ons women give them, they love the sex, they love the bodies, but at the end of the day they are a dispensable commodity.
Women often feel they are loved for their youth and body parts and once looks are gone they are disposable.
If you wanna stereotype, women may love the way men make them feel emotionally and men may like the way women make them feel sexually - the truth is, we are all in relationships for the things we get, for the feelings we feel, for the experience other person gives us... But just because relationships are give and take, it doesn't mean you don't truly love a person.
Opinion
10Opinion
you are right.. women love how men make them feel, they dont actually love men for who they are.. and all these people will say different.. anyone you ask will say its not true.. why is that? because noone knows what the hell they are talking about and everyone is trapped in their own self reflection. Its because noone is really aware of themselves or what is going on.. it sounds ridiculous to say women dont love men but its true.. maybe as they get older and wiser and uglier they start loving the man they are with.. but most marriage end in divorce with women being the initiating party..
Women dont love men because they dont have a biological imperitive to swim against the current.. they are dominated by whatever culture and social mores they find themselves in.. true love is unconditional.. a womens love is always conditional.. if a man starts behaving in a different way or pastern than whats she is used to or expects.. she begins looking else where.. maybe its narcissism.. maybe its the fact that they have everything handed to them and yet they still complain.. really what it is is a perverse egotism that they are all culturally infected by via global propaganda powers that use them as pretty little useful little idiots to destroy men and the family.. granted real men dont really exists any more.. they have been anihilated.. we are all consumers now baby!
if men and women are equal than why do men have to give their lifes to protect women? because they are not equal. Being responsible for someones life makes you their superior.. I say men are superior to women.. i didn't say they were better.. let your little ego's think on that...
If you love someone they aren't dispensable. I think that you are confusing strength, resilience, and individuality with not loving someone. The people that love in the way that you are talking about kill themselves when they are broken up with. I mean you have to put YOURSELF first and foremost it's just survival instinct to some degree everyone is dispensable. My mother who I love dearly, my brother my grandmother are all "dispensable" in a sense to me because when they do die I will have to continue on with my life. I guess it truly depends on your definition of love is, no doubt.
@daren0326 yup. goes to show how stupid she is
Wow, you are WAAAAAAY too young to be this cynical already. Lighten up dude.
If you go out into the world expecting to be used by women, then that is exactly what you are going to find. Let go of these early formed inaccurate beliefs because the longer you hold onto them, the more you're going to see evidence that proves them and the stronger they are going to grow. This will leave you very jaded and probably unpleasant to be around. Just because this is what you've seen so far does not make it true.
There are no absolutes in this world. Open your mind to the possibility that there are all kinds of women - some who use, and then some who love & appreciate. If you do this, you'll find yourself a lot happier & more relaxed in the long run.
I didn't realize being 30-35 meant you're way too young to be cynical, I didn't even realize being cynical had an age requirement. -_-
"If you go out into the world expecting to be used by women, then that is exactly what you are going to find." That's absolutely not true, that's a superstitious belief if you understand what cynicism is. Cynicism is "believing that people are motivated by self-interest; distrustful of human sincerity or integrity." With this belief you eliminate the possibility that you will be used because you will completely shut it out, essentially you build protection for yourself.
Please think logically and understand there is no such thing as "If you go out into the world expecting to be used by women, then that is exactly what you are going to find. Let go of these early formed inaccurate beliefs because the longer you hold onto them, the more you're going to see evidence that proves them and the stronger they are going to grow." because what you are talking about is called karma. Karma is not real, it's superstitious.
I do agree that not all women are bad and some are good though.
While I am not disagreeing with you...
Men are not any better.
They lust after our bodies...
Crave the sex we can provide...
Crave the feelings we give them.. of being needed and useful and mattering..
But at the end of the day, we can be traded in for that newer, younger, hotter, more kinky model...
and remember, Even while I say love is a lie...
There are exceptions to every rule.
ok no whoever told you that is a dusch. women can of course love men. it happens al the time at any age. I have and am in love right now. and its the best feeling in the world. we don't just think of men as a thing we think of them as a beautiful human being that we can have the time of our lives with ant tell them anything wothout starting drama. we do love men and we still love them at the end of the day. in fact the end of the day is the best part. because we just lie in our beds thinking of them. I'm actually doing that righht now because I just left him because the day is over and I have to wait another fay to see him again. so yes girls do love men and we don't thing that they are a disposable thing at all
You are so wrong. When a man is special to me, HE is my KING and I don't want to look at another. If I pick you, it's because you have an amazing personality, you're respectful, smart, witty and sexy . . . and all the other things that make that individual special. You get my full attention and I could just appreciate everything about you for days on end.
Right now I have an interest in someone and, believe me, it is all about him. He has that spark and he doesn't have to do anything to earn that, except be himself.
You're obviously just trolling, so I'm not even mad.
That's obviously a false statement, guys actually fall in love sooner than girls but once a girl does fall in love she's much more expressive about it than men are.
Personally, even when I am in love I tend to be kind of reserved about it just because the guys I date are usually not very expressive and so I'm afraid to be very affectionate.
I think guys are much more likely to view women as replaceable and interchangeable, most women, given attraction, will want to be in a relationship whereas most men even if they are attracted to a woman and like her, don't want to be in a relationship...so women always feel like they can't talk about how they feel or what they want for fear of a guy freaking out and leaving.
From that perspective, men don't "love" women either. They love the excitement of conquest, sexual gratification, the ego boost of a partner who compliments them, the status of an attractive partner, the domestic help. Etc. Romantic relationships, in general, are precarious.
I don't think they love men the way men sometimes love women.
Not that many women would take a bullet for the man they love.
It's different I guess. Romantic love from a woman involves more admiration and less protectiveness then vice versa. Women only love their children in the way men love women.
Women don't perv after their children tho!
He wasn't talking about it in that sense he's talking about how a woman would sacrifice and orotect her child by any means even if it meant dying for them. And some women don't necessarily perv after their children although some women have their children fill emotional voids like if a woman has a son and the father isn't there she'll tell him he has to be the man of the house. And will almost emotionally lean on him like their son is a partner. Kind of where you get mommas boys.
Just because male love is protective and female nurturing, it does not mean male love is better or greater. We are different in nature of displaying love, but we do not love less because of that.
On a side note, don't bring children into this. While a woman's love towards a man is more nurturing and a man's love towards a woman more protective, towards their children, men are both nurturing and protective and women are both as well. The way they treat children does not determine how they show love for each other, nor the quantity of that love.
Women protect men nurture Men protect Women nurture its all within human capacity and part of the whole.
Since when can you nurture without protecting. stop deconstructing people its incoherent.
men are perfectly capable of nurturing. no one wants to be in a relationship with a robot. if men were not nurturing they would not have gfs and wives.
I tried to present it as 'its different'. I think if people understood that maybe they'd be hurt less when they aren't loved in the way that they love.
The love women have for men is more tied into respect. Men actually are hurt by this - the love they feel seems more unconditional and not tied to her accomplishments. But women meanwhile seem to talk so much about being respected in comparison with men - to them that's part of love.
Being cherished vs being admired - both matter.
No, no objections.You're right. But the same thing can be said about men. But I think the problem comes from the definition of love. Almost everyone struggles to define it yet everyone wants it. I honestly think love at it's most basic level consist of about three things intimacy commitment and passion. And different combinations cause different social bonds. Beyond that are people's personal convictions they add which causes the bulk of the confusion. Romantic love is a fairly new idea in the history of Homo Sapiens and I think the many different ways we use to define love are all the result of us trying to understand and explain the feelings we have or the lack of those feelings. Despite how accurate those descriptions really are they spread and people begin to believe that what they have is love when it isn't or isn't love when it really is. But of course I'm only one person and this is all just my opinion.
No. Some women stick with their blokes when these are old and no longer handsome, when they are sick, when they lose their job. Well, caring for someone does give you good emotions, but you can even love a man who doesn't give you good emotions, because it's all about them.
Why do you think that?
Completely disagree. Of course we appreciate those things, but we're completely capable of loving a person independently of what they 'give us' or 'do for us'. I don't know what kind of women you've been dating, but you might want to stop and reassess your 'type', lol.
That so many women have answered this question shows you're onto something, brother! It's probably also true that men lust after women's bodies -- specially young women's bodies, while in the reproductable age. At least they're more open about this...
Funny.. that exact thing is what women have said about men for centuries
BA
How can you even pretend that this is a gender-specific issue? Anyway, I "love" men depending on their behavior, just as I judge girls based on their behavior. If you there is nothing more to you than sex or protection, then I won't be able to see you any other way.
This is not gender specific ,can be applied to both men and women. What if I say "Men don't love women. They love their looks, bodies,domestic help and ego boost that the women provide, but at the end of the day you are a dispensable commodity! "
In my opinion men fall in love more quickly than women but once a woman loves a man she is more likely to remain loyal to him as compared to men who are more likely to cheat (statistics prove this! ).
What is love?
It's hard to define, but I do believe that it's influenced by some evolutionary factors. Throughout time women who choose men that could provide for them financially as well as physically had better chances of surviving and their offspring had better survival chances. So I do think that girls are more likley to fall in love with that can provide that. It's an instinct, but I don't think it's the whole story. There's much more to it, it's just hard to grasp
I don't know about that. I'm gay, and I definitely feel loved by my man. If women aren't giving you what you need, maybe try batting for the other team ;)
Omg I love this answer!
You should not go anon !
Gosh, stop with the man/woman thing! it is not a battle for who is right or the best! There are to genders because then we are able to make babies. Love is LOVE. No matter if women love men or not! Because you will always have this and that in relationships so is betrayal or lying one of them! Even in the gay scene they have these people who use them so don't just assume that ALL woman don't love men! @.@
Lol this is a site called GIRLS ask GUYS (and vice versa). If you are uncomfortable with this distinction, maybe you shouldn't be here. xD
Just saying it's the endless battle of who is better and it is bullsh*t because we all have our positive things and negative.
Objection.
It's true, what youvebdescribed above suggests the woman doesn't love you. That doesn't mean she can't love, just that she doesn't love you.
Women love men the same way they love children, pets and close family members (minus the sexual attraction element). If you don't feel that level of love, you're just not loved.
OF course they don't. The more you put into a relationship the more they take advantage of you trust me I have experienced this quite a few times.
Of course the women are not going to admit it and object profusely in order to make themselves seem more righteous.
You have an unhealthy warped perception of women. You ONLY become a dispensable commodity if as a couple you become very unhappy. If you break a woman's heart, violate her trust, etc.
If you remove the emotion, then love doesn't exist, period.
Don't fool yourself guy, it's not sex-specific.
are you a woman? if so,are you every woman ever in existence? if you are not,you might not want to make these statements.
Any objections?
Not from me. In my opinion gals don't love guys and understandably since in my opinion guys don't love gals they love gal's bodies and busting a nut in or on it.
@Wellington
Egh you don't know what I do unless you're a stalker or can mindread through the internet. (?) o.O
Not at all. We do love men.. At least I do... BUT I personally do not love the fact that they are easily aroused by any walking piece of ass.. That's a turn off. Like really? :/ Men are weird.
I can tell you that I have loved more than one man...painfully, passionately, devotedly...and in a way that no one else could have simply walked up and fill his shoes by supplying a paycheck and security. You need to date better women.
i have never been provided for in a relationship nor do I feel they give me security or protection. I love my boyfriend who is a uni student living at home. he's 6 years younger. I love him and want to marry him because of who he is.
Someone is trolling...but If this is how you truly feel too bad for you.
Women love men a lot more then men love women.
Of course we love men. Not ALL men, obviously, but when we find a special guy, he's far from dispensable.
False. I absolutely love my man. I'm a big time lover. It's not all about what he can do for me, it's what I can do for him. He says that I make him feel like a king, there's a reason for that . . .
I never said I don't care what he does for me, I said it's NOT ALL ABOUT what he does for me. Healthy happy relationships are created by 2 people who are out for each others' best interest. When you look out 4 your partner, they look out for u. You give, I give, you give, I give. & you ask 'what is it'? It's that I DO want & need a man in my life to share everything with. Once again, I'm a lover. I'll do everything I can to keep him safe happy secure and satisfied, it's my job as his woman & I enjoy it :)
If I didn't truly love the guy I wouldn't be with him, I would have to love him to be able to love the way my emotions are to him
There are users of both genders and you have found the wrong ones if you got that view.
I neither want nor need her to love me; I just need her to let me love her.
false, women love men as much as the other way around.. love dosnt change because of your gender..
Just like men don't "love" women. They love her looks and her vagina.
Word upppp
I can be an amazing lover. I just haven't found the right man yet.
Neither gender loves the other anymore, I thought that was common knowledge. Men have always been treated as expendable.
All women are whores.
They are incapable of love, but men love them. Some girls have said it right here
Are you a female yourself? No?, then you have no idea what you are talking about.
what security... provisioning?
Oh brother.Here we go again...
Very objectionable as seen below
wait what?! who have you been talking to? not true
Like you would know wet nose.
i love my man
Wow, never.
false.
Same could be said about men
Sounds like love to me.
Wellington is stupid.
Really? Just enjoying the stuff your partner DOES for you is love in your eyes?
Shouldn't it be more like finding someone's physical and emotional well being and their pursuit to realize themselves in the world, as well as their hopes and dreams as important and essential to life as your own, and working to further preserve all that by nurturing, protecting, providing emotional support, and giving your partner someone to rely on in a weak moment, because you admire them as a person?
If you only feel love because of what someone DOES for you, the person you actually love is yourself.
No objections
True for me
Hey she's honest with herself
Of course. He's right though. This world is to shallow for love
Perhaps many but most certainly not all
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