He hates my personality, and wants me to change. Please help, I don't know what to do.

[Anonymous]

I'm a really silly girl, I love to make people laugh and make jokes. My boyfriend however, seems to think that there's a problem with that. He always tells me I kid around too much, I need to "stop joking" because it "p*sses him off". He's also p*ssed at me because I don't like to hold hands. I kept telling him that it isn't him, I just don't like to hold hands! We argued about it three times, and he told me he was "mad" about it. Today I hugged my best friend Mike and later on, my boyfriend told me it p*ssed him off. He claims he doesn't want to lose me, and he knows he's over exaggerating, but this is really bothering me. This has been about the fifth time he has told me I need to "stop joking around". And to be honest, I don't even see what I do as "joking", it's just who I am.

What do I do? I am not going to change for him. Should I break up with him? I just don't think our personalities are going to mix the right way.

Thank you so much..

Updates

+1 y

He said "It makes me mad when you hug other guys because I'm just standing there looking dumb while my girlfriend is hugging another guy, that's why I've been joining in on the hugs." When I hug my guy friends he hugs them too so it's like a three way hug

[spazash]

He should love you for who you are. Didn't he get into the relationship knowing who you are?

If he wants you to change, then break up with him. I know it might be hard, but he seems over bearing.

If you don't like holding hands that is something he is just going to have to understand.

Dont change because of him, you are who you are if he doesn't like it then he will have to live with it and love you for who you are or move on.

[Shlei3]

Sorry to say but anyone who criticizes you for having a light hearted sense of humor is wrong. If he gets mad at you for it than he needs to go. You are absolutely right about not changing yourself for him. There's no reason to. As for holding hands? What about it don't you like? Is it because your hand gets all sweaty? Is it because you feel you have to walk at a certain pace and feel kind of trapped? sounds silly but that's how I used to feel.

[Asker]

I'm not really sure about the holding hands thing. I just don't like feeling "clingy". I'd rather just walk side by side, not having to be all, connected to each other I guess. I just don't really like PDA. Thank you for your answer.

[Littletad]

You should never change for anybody. If you do, then you don't become who you are meant to be. Also, part of being in a relationship is loving your partner for their differences or even similarities. Not ridiculing and suggesting that they change themselves according to your selfish needs or likes.

[matlink]

Dump him. He doesn't like you for you, he doesn't trust you, and you guys can't communicate properly. The simplest thing to do is dumping him, it'll be much easier right now then later on. How old are you guys and how long have you guys been going out for?

[Asker]

I'm 17, will be 18 in October! He's 16 and will be 17 in September. We've been dating for about a month. I'm really starting to lean towards break up with him, I just, don't feel that I can stay in a relationship like this.

[matlink]

Yea, your update shows me that he really can't stop being jealous, over-protective, and stupid.

Do whatever feels right !