I am super shy around this guy at work. I find him attractive but I don’t know him and I don’t even know whether he’s single. I don’t even know if I still like him but something about the way he acts makes it hard to forget him ☹️When we were friendly, I only had about three conversations with him, but they were fun and lively. Until about three months ago we were on friendly terms but then he kept on giving me mixed messages I could not make sense out of and then I felt like he wanted nothing to do with me, so I figured he didn’t want to be friends (maybe I was an unwanted distraction if he was in a relationship?), so I moved on and ignored him. Then I even avoided him by making some changes to my schedule.
But then we still saw each other from time to time, so I just tried to go about my business and pretend he didn’t exist. However, just when I began to start feeling better and forgetting about him, he started glancing and staring at me again, and looking upset when he saw that I just looked nervous (because the whole situation is awkward for me) as if I was being rude.
The last time we interacted was in the kitchen when I was accidentally in his way when I didn’t need to be in that spot. He sort of barged in my personal space because I wasn’t paying attention that someone was behind me. I moved and said sorry and he said no problem, then I glanced at his face to see and gage whether I should make small talk with him just to ease tension, but he looked completely uncomfortable and nervous, so I left the scene and sort of scurried away as I brought back my cleaned dishes.
Since then, when I see him in the hallways, if I even do so much as accidentally look at him, he stares in this angry, defensive, and somewhat hostile way. Then he sometimes scurries away when he sees me, or if he has to walk past me, he’ll walk much faster as he’s passing by me. What did I do? He obviously has no desire to converse with me so I think that my behavior makes perfect sense.
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It sounds like there may be some miscommunication or confusion between the two of you. While it can be difficult, especially if you are shy, it might be worth trying to have a conversation with him about your interactions.
You could approach him in a neutral setting and say something like, "Hey, I noticed that things have been a little awkward between us lately and I just wanted to check in and make sure everything is okay." This can open up a dialogue and give both of you the chance to share your perspectives.
If he does seem upset with you, you could also apologize for anything you may have done to contribute to the tension in your interactions. However, it's important to recognize that his behavior towards you is his responsibility and not yours, so don't take on undue guilt or blame.
Ultimately, if he is not receptive to having a conversation and remains hostile towards you, it may be best to simply continue to give him space and focus on your own wellbeing.
Considering how you're overthinking every little interaction, and just knowing how girls are, I have no doubt you've given him the bitch act.
Girls who give me the bitch act lose my respect, and I too will give them dirty looks and avoid them. It's childish and stupid. Be nice to him from now on. You know, smile and whatnot...
Most men are big, insecure babies. Ignore him, he is not worth the trouble.