Help I was drunk and clingy!... and I don't know what to do?

[quickski77]

I just started seeing this guy. he's a medical resident so he's really busy. We have spent two nights together and a few dates, but not had sex. I am into him but its early. Last night I had a few mixed drinks with a friend (my alcohol tolerance sucks), and was about to go to bed, when an ex threatened to post a video of me somewhere if I didn't give him what he wanted. I didn't give in but I got really upset and was in this I hate men phase. Instead I started to compulsively text the guy I like about where he saw this going because I'd been hurt before and if he didn't see it going anywhere i'd rather no now! I am so mad at myself because its too early and I am scared I ruined it. I texted this morning and said sorry I was drunk, explained that I did want to get know him better, but I wasn't expecting a lot now especially, and this was out of character for me. Am I done? did I ruin it? When/if we hang out again do I mention this?

Updates

+1 y

Would really appreciate anyone's opinion! I don't think I've ever been so ashamed of what I have done!

[sweetone]

I think you should mention it in person and see his reaction. But don't take this conversation too far. Don't overthink it either. Most guys know that alcohol can bring out a new side. As a matter of fact, something very similar happen to me this past Saturday. It was st. patty's day celebration and I started drinking at 10 am. I told the guy I was dating that he may not wanna be around me because I will be intoxicated. But he insisted on meeting me out. We met up around 3 or 4 pm. And then went to dinner together. His friend and Brother met up with us. Ughhh... I don't even remember how I was acting. lol

I remember that when we were in the car together he said to me that he only wants to hang out with me one on one because he feels left out when I'm around all my friends. And he said that he felt I didn't really like him yada yada... well the drunk me wanted to comfort him and I said "no, no... stop it.. don't say that.. but.. but i love you"... ... OMG! Can you believe I said that! I don't love him... it's just in my nature.. i just speak that way with my friends.. I literally slapped myself in the head and said omg I told you not to come around me...

Then to make things worse.. we were still driving and then I was falling asleep.. I opened my eyes and I said something. I don't remember what I said but I said something to him thinking he was another guy and he called me out on it... I couldn't even save myself from that. AND like I said, I don't even remember exactly what I said.. At least you have the text messages you can go back and read. lol

So anyway, I told him in text the next day that I realized everything was such a blurr and I don't remember much. He is still very interested in me and we already have plans to see each other again.. (oh and for the record... I have only been out with him about 5 times.. so this is still new.. ).

Point is, I wouldn't worry too much about this... if he really likes you then he will continue to do so.

[quickski77]

well at least I am not alone. I appoligized and I am going out of town for a few days. So that's probably good... seriously though thanks for sharing your story it was a week night too, I normally rarely even drink!

[vercapone]

No, nothing is ruined. If the person you're seeing is mature enough, then nothing bad will happen between two of you. But if he isn't ready for or doesn't want a serious relationship this may be a problem but still, not a big problem. He may act weird for a while but if you don't do things like that again, I'm sure everything will be fine. Don't worry.

[quickski77]

Thank you, my heart like sank when I realized what I did. I think he's not ready, maybe but its still early yet. I am going away out of town until Sunday, and I think that may be a good thing because seeing him isn't an option. But seriously you made me feel so much better, if we don't end up together, I hope its because I am not right for him not because I was drunk and clingy.

[Anonymous]

When you've puked over someone, you don't keep wiping it with your hand.

You apologise, and let them deal with it.

Do NOT mention this again. If you want him to think that it was just a drunken question with no meaning behind it, then let it go.

If you want him to think that it is a question which is ACTUALLY ON YOUR MIND and for which you DESPERATELY NEED AN ANSWER, then yeah, keep talking about it, keep denying it was important, keep bringing it up and in fact, talk about nothing else until he dumps you. (Or answers it.)

[quickski77]

lol thanks. I know he was sleeping I wrote like a long novel and kept trying to explain myself... the thing is, I don't wanna know, I think we don't even know each other well... enough. I am hoping if I don't try to talk to him t'ill he talks to me and am totally normal I'll be good. In my drunken state I sure wanted to know though.

[Thatguy321]

Guys always tell me "wait until she's drunk, thats how she really is without her filter" haha but if i had to rate whats happened to me 1-10 thats like a 2-3 at the most

[quickski77]

Ha ha so basically he'll get over it? Even though I wouldn't shut up? Thanks that actually makes me feel better. by the way , that's kinda true... I mean I am into him I would love to have it go somewhere, at this point its just to early to ask lol.

[Thatguy321]

I would have gotten over it, it def wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. Id be more careful to hurt you though

[Thatguy321]

Not to hurt you*

[quickski77]

Thanks makes me feel better! I was hoping it wouldn't be a deal breaker, he kinda already knew I hoped it would go somewhere, and why I am interested. I just got a vague response to that, so Im assuming he's not sure. WHich is fine, because now I feel like he'll probably still give it chance, he's super busy and doesn't have a chance to meet many people, so I had hoped there is a shot.

[Thatguy321]

Im sure there is, good luck with everything

[quickski77]

thanks!

[quickski77]

is it strange he didn't answer my appology text? I guess there's not a lot to say I don't know

[CellLuddite]

Question. How do I make girls go into this drunk and clingy mode for me? Or maybe I just need to identify the drunk and clingy type?

[quickski77]

Why would you want that? ha ha I just was upset, done with guys, but I like him. I think if a girl likes you, and is drunk and has some emotions, she will act this way. What I said could have been a simple late night text, but I kept going and going. The inital question wasn't out of line, I would even understand if he's someone else too, I wouldn't have liked it, but we aren't exclusive my issue is I just didn't shut up. But I'm going to act totally normal talk to him about normal things. here's a question for you? Why? wouldn't it freak you out if a girl did what I did?

[CellLuddite]

I'm an alien. Everything seems peculiar to me so a drunk text wouldn't seem that much stranger than everything else.

[quickski77]

Lol its easier to say how you feel when your drunk. For example, once years ago I had a crush on someone I was scared to admit I liked and no trouble doing it drunk. I haven't really sent any other drunk texts till last night though worst part is I spelled everything right