Boyfriend pointed out my stretch marks?

[dragontamer13]

We've been together for almost 2 years now, and I'm actually pretty skinny, but right on my hips I have small stretch marks.

We were laying on the couch together and he was rubbing my waist (it wasn't feeling the best, slept on it wrong or something) and he says

"Scars. You have little scars."

And I said "What? Oh. God. No, those are stretchmarks." And I was just... really embarrassed.

But without skipping a beat he says,

"Well, no, they kinda look like you battled a tiger or something, there's four of them right in a row. They look like battle scars."

After it was obvious that I was still upset that he pointed them out in the first place and I was talking about how I hated them he started saying how he thought there was nothing wrong with them because they were on my body, and therefore they were beautiful.

I just don't know how to feel about this. I'm really self conscious about them anyway because they showed up during a growth spurt and never went away. I assumed he never noticed them and now that he has I just can't seem to get it out of my head that he's going to think they're gross and I'm a little hurt he pointed them out.

I just need a little advice on the situation I guess. :/

Updates

+1 y

Interesting how the first few people who commented on this actually gave me a response that made sense, and then the minute today came everyone assumed that I was angry about it, which I never said I was.

[EyeSeaYew]

I understand. I'm a size one with small hips and yet I have stretch marks on my inner thighs (from puberty, I guess). I never thought they were noticeable at all until one day, I was hanging out with a friend at home and had on some short pajama bottoms, and she pointed to inner thighs and said "I have stretch marks too!" x_x I almost died.

Ever since then I've been especially self-conscious about them. I wonder if my guy friends ever noticed them when we were swimming :O And now that this summer is coming up I'm worried about how to hide them. Seems like I've been doing a lot of worrying for nothing, though, because finally after months and months they're starting to fade and be less noticeable. Eventually yours will fade, too. Keep moisturizing them regularly and they will get better.

It doesn't sound like your boyfriend cares about them. I understand how embarrassing it is to have them, though. They really shouldn't be a big deal (they're just scarred tissue on your skin) but it feels kind of odd and gross to have them for whatever reason, like others are going to judge you for them. Honestly, though, there's not much you can do about them. I am positive your boyfriend does not view you as gross and he didn't mean anything negative when he pointed them out, just like my friend was not trying to hurt me or make me think my thighs are ugly when she pointed them out to me. Everything is okay and really it's best to just not worry about them, because worrying definitely won't make them go away.

[EyeSeaYew]

If that is you in your profile picture, by the way, you are very pretty! :)

[dragontamer13]

Thank you, yours helped a lot. uwu

Also yes, that's me. Thank you!

[TheGreatPretender]

He seemed perfectly honest about it. And if you're in a relationship with him, it means he already accepts who you are and what you have. If he says he doesn't mind and thinks that theyre beautiful and look like battle scars, Im betting he thought it was cool haha. Dont be too concerned about it c: you're lucky you have someone who accepts you like that! And at least he didn't laugh or make fun of you like how some douche bag bfs are. But if you're still concerned, just let him know that it bothered you that he noticed. Its normal and natural to let your feelings out haha

[amandalauren]

Everyone has imperfections that we wish would change. But don't worry your bf thinks they are beautiful. There is nothing wrong with you. Embrace your beauty and don't worry so much girl!!! It sounds like he wasn't trying to hurt your feelings he's probably never noticed them before and poking fun with you. If he said they are beautiful bc they were on your body you should feel flatter bc he was trying to make you feel better after he hit a sore spot. He wasn't a jerk about it and tried to retract bringing up the topic. You have a good guy.

[amandalauren]

Also always be open with your feelings and tell him if he hurt your feelings so he doesn't do it again

[kheserthorpe]

He didn't think they were gross. He thought they looked cool.

Scars, generally, don't make people less attractive. Our pure, shallow, physical attractiveness is based on how healthy and fertile people look and the apparent quality of our genes. Studies have shown that scars don't change people's perception of how attractive someone is, so it seems that our brains (correctly!) interpret scars as being something picked up during life, and therefor not indicative of gene quality (in fact, women rated men with scars MORE attractive as short term mates - possibly because it showed an ability to win/survive fights).

So... relax.

He thinks they're cute.

[dragontamer13]

This guy. I like how your mind works. Science is always the most reassuring thing. uwu

[SüßeJäger]

He wasn't too sensitive about your feelings but you having them is nothing at all. It sounds like he thinks the same. Talk to him about it and tell him it hurt your feelings etc. hell totally forget about them in a short time. Its ok. Nobodys body is perfect.

[Cutie_Baby]

Just take it easy. My BF sometimes purposely laugh about things make me embarrassed, because he said it was cute that every time I tried so hard to hide that, then I would list something that would make him embarrass and I just laugh about that, and he would grab me hard and kiss me. Just don't take that too seriously:)

[julietxrose]

Guys love battle scars! So if he pretends they're tiger wounds, it's probably a good thing haha. Don't take it to heart- guys sometimes just point out things without even considering what they imply. Instead, be happy that he takes the time to explore your body and notice the little things about you. :)

[jeffreyvv]

It's no biggie... he obviously never meant to hurt you.
You have to Accept yourself... your boyfriend accepted you.
Next time tell him "You think Those are scars, lol you should see the Tiger!!"

LOL By the way... I too had a Sudden growth spurt at Puberty! I have Stretch marks on my back, waist high. (It's true! lol)

Best Wishes!
Jeffrey

[Anonymous]

You're reacting like a typical girl - you're your own worst critic, and you can't understand how a guy can like something that you don't.

Calm down. You're not the hideous monster you sometimes believe yourself to be.

[dragontamer13]

Wow I didn't think I was as far as a hideous monster but okay lol

[confugirl]

You're taking this the wrong way. He in no way said it looked bad. He didn't even know what it was. He just mentioned it because he's concerned about you. Don't worry about it.

[Hrothgar]

"Battled a tiger," HAH! He was nice about it. Get some vitamin E and apply it until they go away. Then you won't have to worry about it anymore.

[Anonymous]

What the hell, i dont see that there's anything wrong on what he said, i think its cute what he said

[dragontamer13]

There isn't anything wrong with what he said. He handled it well, I'm just still feeling a bit nervous about the fact that he noticed it.
I never said I was mad at him. Just worried.

[Conviction]

You should not think too deep into this.