Questions: Relationships

I'm very conflicted undergoing social anxiety complex trauma and depression and anorexia nervosa. Im very down. The last time I was so down was with 16 when I landed in the ER. It is really bad right now. I tried to explain my boyfriend I don't have any energy for our relationship but he had a good childhood he never experienced depression. He will never understand my behaviour and my pain.

he just reciting John legends: all of me. But this isn't it. He told me I should give him a chance and not break things and I opened up about everything I'm going through that's why I wanted to end things bc I'm afraid I make him down too. But when my life sort out I want to relive our relationship again.

Today he said: "I'm afraid you will break up you was distance"

Why can't he understand that this the fcking reason of course I love him and tell him but also I just need time for my own. I can't be a lover right now. Love us not a medicine. But everyone tells me: it is your sickness that speaks. But even though. I hurt him with the way I am because I won't be pretending anything. I don't know what to do. He told me if I break up now or of I insisted in a breaking pause it would not last. But what makes him so sure about thst? I just wonders if that is something because he deep himself thinks this relationship would not last anyway or if this a stated fact?

My Ex boyfriend of 8 Months told me at the month 8: "I enjoy what we have in the present, I'm not sure if it stays. I don't see a future for us" For me that was a reason to break up. Because till month 8/ he wasn't able to communicate our future, his emotions or anything in regard of our relationship. He wasn't even sure if he wants to move away from home. If I didn't asked I would have never knew how he felt.

My second boyfriend now: After all that I shared with him in the 1 year of our relationship he opened up to me in month 6 but after I ask. Now little by little he can talk about things regarding our relationship but it is still a long way till he can tell me without me asking him what hurts him or not. This makes me very sad. As for now, after all the things I sacrificed for him in regard of time and money he told me: let's try out if it works out."

Am I pathetic to end things because the person doesn't see a future for us?