Questions: Relationships

This is based on a recent question that appeared here. A lot of users said in one way or another that they didn't think they would ever find love, that they'd never find a relationship or get married.

If this applies to you, why? If you are cynical, pessimistic, or otherwise jaded about your relationship prospects, why? Why do you think that you are unworthy of being loved or pursued?

Is it because of pornography or social media? Is it because of the way you were raised? Do you think that you are unattractive? Have you given your heart away too easily in the past, only to be abused or neglected?

And I simply have to ask this one, could it be in some cases that people just haven't tried?

(First, a disclaimer from a lawyer. I would NEVER break up with a girl by text. If we have dated long enough - more than two dates - so that she deserves to understand why I am breaking up, then she deserves a real conversation and not just a text message. I just posted this screenshot because it is humorous.)

I dated a girl who was, I eventually realized, a borderline personality. Bad news. REAL bad news. She was also an alcoholic. MORE bad news. AWFUL combination. She had episodes of "mini-psychosis" in which she became paranoid and accused me of many things. . . primarily being unfaithful. . . with women in California, Arizona, and New York. . . even though I left for work around 9 am every morning and returned home every day around 6 pm.

One night, in a drunken rage, she accused me once again and tred to grab my cell phone so she could search for the "evidence" (which didn't exist, because I've never cheated on anyone.) She tried hard to snatch the phone from my hand, eventually lost her grip, fell backwards, hit her head, called 911 and reported me for domestic violence. The police here have a stupid policy that if they go on a DV call and someone is injured, then someone MUST go to jail, so I was arrested. A few months later, after the prosecutor had a chance to investigate, he realzed that it was all bogus, the charge was dropped, and the prosecutor and judge both apologized to me for my ordeal.

So, yeah, there is someone from my past who I wish I had never met. HBU?

We’re been together for 4 years now, however things are not good.

- She won’t let be see my friends, she claims the only person I should be friends with is herself. She was especially suspicious of a female friend I had from college accused me of cheating when I did not and never.
- She looks at my phone constantly, especially Facebook and Twitter, made me unfollow or unfriend all girls. Looks at my browsing history.
- She phones and messages me at work every hour, even when I’m busy. Gets irate if I don’t respond quickly enough.
- Says I won’t find anyone better than her.
- Made me change job.
- Gets suspicious if I stay late at work accuses of meeting up with other girls.
- Tracks my location constantly
.
Is this toxic?

To me if you’re thinking of doing something like that then that means you don’t trust your partner. And if you don’t have trust then the relationship can’t work. Therefore you should probably think about breaking up.

what do you think?