If you have to snoop through your partners phone then you shouldn’t be with them at all. Do you agree or disagree?

[Still-alive]

To me if you’re thinking of doing something like that then that means you don’t trust your partner. And if you don’t have trust then the relationship can’t work. Therefore you should probably think about breaking up.

what do you think?

Strongly agree

Agree

Disagree

Strongly disagree

[Aerissa_Jade]

I say if someone doesn't want to share their phone with me I'll dump his ass, because he is either hiding something from me, or he doesn't trust me enough for me to see it.

I insist we share passwords (both of us) or add finger print to each other. It does wonders when he is trying to drive using his phone GPS and it isn't accurate, I say hand me your phone and I'll get it correct and tell him where to go.

There shouldn't be any secrets, if he wants to keep secrets he can go back to being single or better yet... find someone who he can with that they can both have secrets from each other and see how well their relationship with all those secrets works out.

I also make this very clear up front, this isn't something I spring on him. When we are in the talking stage and getting to know each other, I make him aware of this if he wants to continue.

As usual we are totally opposite, as I won't be with someone who doesn't trust me with their phone... that means they have no trust and we do not belong together.

[Still-alive]

You do you of course but I have no issue remaining single if she can't trust me. Thats just me though

[Aerissa_Jade]

Same here, I have no issue being single if he doesn't trust me... in fact I like being single these days, life has become a blast.

[ShellyB]

Trust takes time to build, yes if you have been together a long time snooping seems unnecessary and maybe harmful, but if you have been together say six months, you are still learning whether you can trust him and snooping might be one way to do that. If there is nothing bad on the phone then what is the harm of snooping, we aren't police we are only looking for one thing which is stuff w other girls. Having said that I have not felt the need to snoop in a long time but have I ever snooped in my life - YEP!

[Still-alive]

Disagree. And if they found out you were snooping they should dump you.

[ShellyB]

If they broke up over that, it's prob. for the best honestly.

[Still-alive]

Its broken trust

[ShellyB]

Being annoyed about it would not be surprising but to break up over it either means they have something to hide, or there is some some unusual sensitivity like they are getting over some past relationship and it reminded them of that.

[Still-alive]

Nope. Its not about hiding things. Its about not trusting him. You want to look through his phone, ask him first.

[ShellyB]

It is either hiding things OR extreme sensitivity (not ready for a relationship). That is my opinion. You obv. disagree and you can keep saying you disagree if you want, I am answering your poll!

[ShellyB]

I do want to add though, I said this before but to say it more clearly, I would expect the guy to be annoyed or angry about it and I would not be surprised if we had a fight about it, and I even think he'd win the fight and I'd end up apologizing. What I am saying is that BREAKING UP over it does not make sense unless he's hiding something or has some other kind of issues it triggers like some past relationship issue he is still upset about.

[Still-alive]

Because it’s broken trust. Its that simple. No trust, no relationship

[Still-alive]

If it were me in this situation i would do this:

1. Ask her why she couldn’t just ask me first before looking through it. There really is no good answer to this though.

2. When her answer basically involves how she didn’t trust me enough to tell the truth thus revealing much bigger issues in our relationship than looking through the phone i break up.

No trust, no relationship. there's no tolerance for this behavior.

If you think he’s hiding something and dont trust him, you leave.

[admles]

Strongly agree.

If they want to see something, they can ask me.

Snooping behind my back is unacceptable, and my wife knows this.

Only once has she ever been concerned about a female friend we both know, and she asked me to show her the messages, which I did, because she did it openly and with permission, rather than sneaking around behind my back. Of course, there was nothing to worry about and she apologised for even suspecting me.

However, if I caught her going through my stuff without checking with me first, we'd be having a long talk about trust and boundaries.

There is NOTHING wrong with having boundaries, which includes the phone, in a marriage or any other relationship. Establish this early on, and if your values don't align, don't be together.

And remember, you don't have permission from the other person in the conversation to violate their privacy.

[OfMiceandMen]

I disagree, sometimes there are tell tale signs a person is cheating on you, if they exemplify these signs, then they shouldn't have an issue with their SO asking to see their phone. Beats wasting your time and energy on someone who is unfaithful.

If things are fine in the relationship, then why would you need to see their phone?

I have nothing to hide and if they wanted to check my messages go for it. Probably, be bored by the end of it.

[Still-alive]

Only if they agree to let you see it. If not you should respect boundaries. Thats my point here.

If you think she wouldn’t like you looking through her phone without her knowing then you should respect that. And if you think sh might be unfaithful then break up. You shouldn’t be with someone you dont trust.

[OfMiceandMen]

For sure, that is why I said shouldn't have an issue with their SO asking to see their phone. If they don't want you to look through, it pretty much tells you they are up to no good.

[Apple1996]

I personally never seen a issue with snooping. If your in a long term relationship then there shouldn't be anything kept hidden from each other.

[Still-alive]

But people like having their space. We should respect that. You want to see whats in his phone, ask him.

[Apple1996]

Having space isn't a thing anymore at least in marriage. People come together as one. Literally everything gets shared. And me and my husband just share all passwords so no reason to snoop on his physical phone when I can pull up his whole Gmail account on my phone like Google pics, emails, apps etc

[Still-alive]

Did you ask him before the very first time you went through his stuff?

[Apple1996]

I don't even remember that far back. I usually have reasons for going through that stuff so not really snooping for no reason

[Still-alive]

Yeah i dont like that. You understand how a guy might feel like you don’t trust him by doing that right? Even if you have a reason.

[Apple1996]

Nah I don't see it that way. I just think everything needs to be shared and open

[Still-alive]

As long as you aren’t going behind their back to do it is my point

[Still-alive]

If he's fully aware and agrees with you doing it its ok. But otherwise we should respect our partners boundaries. Married or not.

[Apple1996]

Going behind someone's back is wrong but if they are being weird about sharing passwords then that's what might have to be done

[Still-alive]

So if you don’t trust them, break up. Or separate. Dont stay in a relationship with someone you dont trust

[Apple1996]

Is anyone to be fully trusted tho? Like probably not. That's how people end up hurt. It's better for everyone to be open and honest then to have to be guessing what ifs

[Still-alive]

Ok so be open snd honest, dont go behind their backs. Like you’re attempting to justify that behavior for some reason lol. I dont get it. If he did something behind your back you didn’t like im pretty sure you’d hate that.

[petitedollbabee]

If you’re at the point where your gut is telling you something isn’t right and you feel the need to snoop through their phone, then clearly something has broken the trust in the relationship and it’s best just to break up rather than look for a reason to break up in their phone.

[SaoirseS]

The key phrase here is "have to," then yes I'd agree. I do let my husband go mine once in a while. He's only interested in the goofy texts school kids send to my phone after school lets out. It's the price I pay for having my cell phone number on my business cards.

[snackthatsmilesback]

I think this is a good rule of thumb, but there's exceptions. Personally we use snooping through phones as guardrail, so we have to so that we don't have to, yknow? N some people find it easier to give up privacy than to work through trust issues immediately. That can be a way, temporarily, to help through issues. Ofc if both people are in same boat. So ya, usually it's bad u shouldn't have to. But sometimes having to isn't so bad if it's controlled.

[CurlyGirl42]

Just having the thought might not be so bad, but acting upon it certainly is. If the thought keeps coming up better to at least talk about it. Might be possible to get rid of the trust issues with some effort

[Twalli]

If you are looking for proof they're cheating and you don't find it, you don't assume they aren't cheating, you assume they're really good at hiding it.

[Still-alive]

And that person has bad trust issues

[Luopio27]

When I worked at Mcdonalds, we had a Christmas party at a night club. Two of the employees were a couple. The girl went to the dance floor with the other girls. The guy staid at the table. Another emploee came to our table to warn the girl is pit there probably dancing at flirting with other guys. The boyfriend said to him:


Our relationship is based on trust. That means I dont need to watch her every move or put a leash on her.

[SnowedIn]

Strongly agree. The snooper isn't mature enough to be in a relationship.

[Razp_Sorbet]

My boyfriend knows I don't snoop through his phone because every time he asks me to check something I have to ask for the password because i forget it every damn time.

[Sour-rose]

Yup. It means they don't have a problem, you have a problem. Betta' fix that, my girl.

[LiamJHayden]

If she asks I let her, and then when she finds nothing I ask her to leave as I won't be in a relationship with someone who distrusts me.

[lottiebannotie]

I strongly agree one of you has serious issues and should let the other one be

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Strongly agree. If I had a partner that did that to me, we would be through.

[Vaporvan]

Trust is so important to a relationship, you don't trust them you shouldn't be with them.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

I can’t be having leaks for my movies and career

[driven159]

Trust is the most important if you don't have that you have nothing.

[EmmaMary]

Absolutely totally agreed.

[menina]

Yes, I agree with it.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Strongly Agree

[Guardian45]

Trust is #1 in relationships!

[Lucy68]

Yes honestly

[llorando]

Strongly agree.

[TallAnon]

Agreed