Usually I don't think it's okay.
I once did do it though, how bad it may sound. I asked my boyfriend at the time to delete all the nudes I sent him, and he told me he would. I knew he kept them in a special locked folder, so the only reason why I checked was to see if he had actually deleted them.
He had not.
I did not only find my nudes in that folder; I also found screenshots of one of his female classmates in her bikini. Not too long before that incident he randomly sent me a top 10 list of girls he wanted to fuck, and she was his number 1.
Quite an eventful yet not happy evening followed between the two of us arguing and fighting. It was a big red flag, but like many others, I just tried to ignore it.
Dude cheated on me about a year after that.
Top 10 list of girls he wantes to fuck? Like wtf. If I were that, I would print all those photos and shove it down his throat. Let him choke with his perversion.
Going through someone else's phone is a sign of distrust and insecurity. If you don't trust the person why be with them.
My wife and I allow each other to go through both our phones if either ever wants to. There's nothing I can't think of there that she doesn't know about me, and since we share all our financial accounts and such, sometimes it's come in handy being able to check the other's phone for some relevant info. But we have worked hard to make our relationship this trusting and open for two decades at this point. I can certainly understand people who want to retain some personal privacy. There really isn't anything we hide from each other in our marriage though, and I would never try to change that.
Long ago I actually dated a woman who thought it was okay (shocking that it's women who believe so, huh?). I found out pretty soon, and the stupid little bitch actually had the nerve to deny it, act all offended for me accusing her, and then (the same day) ask me about stuff she read in my message history. I took her phone that night, deleted her contacts through Google, emptied her Dropbox and destroyed quite a lot of gigabytes of pictures and videos. She was mortified, ofc :) I simply denied it and told her how offended I was by her accusations :) We don't speak today 😆
Opinion
47Opinion
You either have trust, or you don't. I've broken up with women because I caught them trying to get into a phone or computer. I trusted them, they didn't trust me. Now I no longer trust them, and it's time to grab your shit and get the fuck out of my house.
I dont think it's ok to go through someone's phone bc it's a violation of their privacy and trust. But I also feel that you shouldn't have anything on your phone that you feel you need to hide from you gf/bf.
I've had bfs (2) that went through my phone without permission and I was really upset. But going through my phone never gave them any reason to mistrust me (more than they obviously already did). In one case actually they said they knew they shouldn't have gone through my phone but felt better that there was nothing there.
In any case I broke up with both of them bc if they feel I am so untrustworthy that they have to go through my phone, then there's no real relationship there.
My ex boyfriend's phone lit up/buzzed during a movie and I looked over as it had startled me, and I saw that it was his ex friends with benefits. We were 5 months into our relationship, spent a lot of time together, so I asked my boyfriend if I could see the messages between them on his phone. I was surprised that he handed it over without a fight--Glad he didn't. Just what had suspected they were both flirting. So in that scenario I would say yes because he lied and was being fake to me while talking to another woman. I would never want a man like that to begin with so I'm glad I saw those messages.
My boyfriend lets me go on his phone all the time so i already know he has nothing to hide from me. I will amit I've looked at his messages but only to see if he mentioned me at all and i tried to. See what kind of porn he watched turns out he doesn't watch any besides when i went through his YouTube history he watches a lot of lady's review underwear which i actually throught was really cute and innocent in a strange way. I just wanted to know what he liked and ifhed ever mentioned his feelings about me to anyone as he can be very emotionally closed off at times he's caught me loads of times doing this and not been to. Mad at me about it as i think if he got mad it show he had something to hide.
On the other side i don't let him look at my phone for lots of reasons. I don't want him to find out i use this site and see the things i write and i have a lot of pictures with me and my stisters in bikinis i don't think they'd want him seeing
I don’t thinking’s particularly bad or good but I also believe that if you’re in a relationship and if your partner just so happened to ask, it would be a red flag if the person has fear of them going through it. That alone without even going through it yet, says a lot.
If it’s in the beginning of a relationship, like just dating. It’s weird. But if it’s a long established relationship, I believe there should be no issue with showing if your partner just so asked to see without you having to have to go and delete or omitting other things if you’re faithful there should be no problem.
My ex wife locked her phone claiming I go through it because all men do that... Seriously! . I never did it once.
What she was actually worried about was she was cheating and scared I'd see something. I don't believe in doing that even after that.
Near the end she became so paranoid that she went through my phone to see if anyone had told me she's cheating. I'd mentioned in conversation someone at work who knew she was cheating and she panicked. . I had no idea he knew at the time.
Mortified seems a bit melodramatic for what you’re describing. My girl is on my phone sometimes and I’m on hers. Sometimes hers is more accessible in the moment. Sometimes mine is. It’s really not a big deal. We aren’t hiding secrets. I’d have an issue dating such a private person tbh.
It depends on the needs of the people in question. It's ALWAYS wrong to go through someone's belongings without their consent, no matter what your relationship. But my spouse and I frequently use each other's phones, as we are both okay with that and have discussed and consented to that behavior!
I mean I have never had anything to hide from a partner in the past. on my phone or any other device.
people who go thought their partners phone or other devices. are often insecure about how there relationship is with their partner in question.
however I do believe it to be an invasion of privacy. when your partner goes thought your phone without asking first.
I would never go through my partners phone, I have no need too I would trust them. If they wanted to go through my phone I would ask for the same respect that I've given them but if they felt that insecure then be my guest because I would never have anything to hide. However it would be a relationship ender because it would tell me that they don't trust me even when I've given them nothing to worry about.
Go to my marriages I left my phone on the table at all times I had nothing to hide I would always tell my wife or whatever but if you feel like you got to go through somebody's phone than you're trying to keep that person like property you know what if that person is treating you know in your heart is he's cheating or she is and just f****** leave
Unless you are hiding something then it's a no. But even if it's something that will give him/her the assurance then it's a yes. What if you end up marrying each other, if you don't allow him/her to access your phone then you might end up fighting each other.
if you do I think it's more than a sign of weakness... you have to trust your partner 100% or don't be with that person if you don't... when I had a boyfriend I could care less he talked to... we did break up because he cheated but that's beside the point
Romantic partners should not keep secrets from one another, but if my wife/girlfriend went through my phone without my permission (unless we were together long enough and well enough to have that kind of dynamic between us, and if she objected to my going through her phone without her permission), I'd dump her immediately.
I feel the same way about phones. I HATE when people touch my phone and I panic a lot even though there’s nothing really there to panic about. But my boyfriend and I are cool with our phones. It took me a while to stop freaking out but now we can use each other’s phones without fear
I think it's wrong to go through your partner's phone without permission, but I also think that if there is something about you that you hide from your partner than that's not a good sign for a relationship
Yes, I did.
Usually, a relationship build on trust, an open book, real love, no need to.
When I did, trust was broken and I was right. Being right, may not be always the best way to handle a situation.
I dont think its that big of a deal. I have nothing to hide. My personal thoughts or opinions aren't that special to hide.. for me personal space is good and boundaries.. but i guess its just a phone, I am a shy pooper?
I have nothing to hide. I leave my phone hangin' around the house. My husband can go through it if he wants. He tells me the same thing.
In a general sense, if one partner has to resort to going through their partner's phone then it is an outright indication of lack of trust and faith in their partner.
Ya after you've been together for awhile, I feel like its a red flag if they don't let you go through their phone
NO, NEVER!! If you don't have enough trust, and you think you need to check their phone, then your relationship will never last!!
On the flip side, if you trust that the other already knows literally everything about you, and would never want to hide anything, your relationship might be really strong. My wife and I are free to look at whatever we want in each other's phone, but it's not coming from a place of snooping or insecurity. It's because we both know what the other is doing all the time and don't want the other one not to know.
I agree with you about insecurity, for the record. Being too insecure to trust your partner and spying on them is a recipe for disaster. Just playing devil's advocate and presenting the other perspective because I do truly believe that being 100% open and honest is possible, and it takes lots of trust and security to reach that point.
@Herbie_Otch Totally agree! My answer was more dedicated to the ones on here, in crappy relationships, and no trust!!
When I really love and care about her, I have nothing to hide, and she knows everything, and the 'dark' side, which she says is just 'GRAY' compared to others!! LOL!!
Until you get to that true, trusting point, that level of non-judging intimacy, there still needs to be some privacy, for those that are still functioning in their 'lower' brains, and not as evolved!! :)
Umm I think if you have nothing to hide then you shouldn’t care and I don’t think spouses should hide stuff from each other anyway.
Me and my boyfriend have no secrets from each other. None. Our phones are open to each other anytime and we are secure
No.. And in my case allowing her to go through my phone has legal implications. It's company property.. Her going through it would land both of us in jail..
Permission is needed in order for it to be OK and that permission is called a password or a lock of any kind. Whether there are justifiable reasons for it is another topic but I say privacy and security are important.
It saved me a lot of problems twice. Women are so affraid that guys check their phones because that's where their secrets are hidden. For the guys reading this, go to dcim there are pictures she deleted from whatsapp
Everyone deserves some privacy, even people in a relationship, so no.
Well, I would hate it if absolutely anybody went through my phone. I have a lot of embarrassing stuff on there...
Everyone needs privacy. How would you feel if people went into your private things. If you think something is wrong, just ask and see what they say and how they respond. You will have your answer.
Just password protect your phone and even include a fingerprint unlock if your phone is one of the later models.
What other people say to me in confidence is nobody's business.
Well, it's up to everyone's opinion, but for me, I think it's more than fair for my Girlfriend to check my phone, computer, Social Media and everything! It's HER business to know what I've been up to!
I believe so especially when you suspect cheating going on remember the first few times you guys went there if it changes or the way your partner does things or talks to you then ohwell it's more than OK its your right and with out him or her knowing
No. People are going to cheat if they want to do so. It does matter what you do as a partner. Vice versa as well. if you want to and give no more fucks you would too. Bottom line.
No.
Go through my phone without permission, and we will be having a very long talk where you will try your damned best to convince me not to dump your snooping, prying, non-trusting ass.
Yes my sister just dumped her boyfriend because he was saving another girls pictures.
I always say 'trust but verify'. If you're cheating on me I'm going through your phone to confirm it. Then shit-canning you. GTFO
I plant shit on my phone just to fuck with her. Didn't take very long for her to avoid my phone like the plague.
Okay I don’t say yes exactly, but if you think they may be cheating or doing something dangerous that can harm themselves or others, you just might have to look out of legit concern for the loved one
Except you're really onto something, then I'd say use it to show the evidence. In either case, your confidence in this person is lost, if you're SECRETLY going through their phone.
How would you like it if they did the same to you? Or read your diary or rummaged through your hand bag?
That said, I would let her look if she ASKS, but only if she reciprocates.
Of course, I have mostly games on my phone...
No, it's violating without the person's permission.
well sure, when your partner says "you can go through my phone if you want", that's when it is ok.
It's never okay to take away a person's right to privacy
Wheres the trust with your partner and you should be able to tell them everything 100% of the time there has to be a little rain for there to be a rainbow so honesty and trust is key
If the guy looks through her phone it's felony damaging a communication device but If she looks through his phone and throws it against the wall it's still his fault
Usely it's best to have that chat with them before you do cuz they mite not like idea
Maybe if they are lying at your feet bleeding and your looking for the number for 911, maybe
Not while they are living. If they are missing for days or under investigation, then yes.
I mean doing it without their permission is technically illegal soooo
We used each other phone all the time but then again we have nothing to hide.
Hmm, interesting that almost half of females in the poll think it's OK to go through a guy's phone. That's some fucked up shit right there.
Absolutely not, that is an immediate relationship ender for me.
No, but I would take her cell phone if my battery ran out to watch videos or using google
Of course. I need to make sure the bitch isn't playing me.
I went through my ex phone and saw him telling another girl he missed and loved her.
It's a matter of trust and communication. Why do you need to?
they should be able to keep trust in eachother.
Did you pay there phone bill if NOT then NO.
Their
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