Usually I don't think it's okay.
I once did do it though, how bad it may sound. I asked my boyfriend at the time to delete all the nudes I sent him, and he told me he would. I knew he kept them in a special locked folder, so the only reason why I checked was to see if he had actually deleted them.
He had not.
I did not only find my nudes in that folder; I also found screenshots of one of his female classmates in her bikini. Not too long before that incident he randomly sent me a top 10 list of girls he wanted to fuck, and she was his number 1.
Quite an eventful yet not happy evening followed between the two of us arguing and fighting. It was a big red flag, but like many others, I just tried to ignore it.
Dude cheated on me about a year after that.
Going through someone else's phone is a sign of distrust and insecurity. If you don't trust the person why be with them.
My wife and I allow each other to go through both our phones if either ever wants to. There's nothing I can't think of there that she doesn't know about me, and since we share all our financial accounts and such, sometimes it's come in handy being able to check the other's phone for some relevant info. But we have worked hard to make our relationship this trusting and open for two decades at this point. I can certainly understand people who want to retain some personal privacy. There really isn't anything we hide from each other in our marriage though, and I would never try to change that.
Long ago I actually dated a woman who thought it was okay (shocking that it's women who believe so, huh?). I found out pretty soon, and the stupid little bitch actually had the nerve to deny it, act all offended for me accusing her, and then (the same day) ask me about stuff she read in my message history. I took her phone that night, deleted her contacts through Google, emptied her Dropbox and destroyed quite a lot of gigabytes of pictures and videos. She was mortified, ofc :) I simply denied it and told her how offended I was by her accusations :) We don't speak today 😆
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You either have trust, or you don't. I've broken up with women because I caught them trying to get into a phone or computer. I trusted them, they didn't trust me. Now I no longer trust them, and it's time to grab your shit and get the fuck out of my house.
I dont think it's ok to go through someone's phone bc it's a violation of their privacy and trust. But I also feel that you shouldn't have anything on your phone that you feel you need to hide from you gf/bf.
I've had bfs (2) that went through my phone without permission and I was really upset. But going through my phone never gave them any reason to mistrust me (more than they obviously already did). In one case actually they said they knew they shouldn't have gone through my phone but felt better that there was nothing there.
In any case I broke up with both of them bc if they feel I am so untrustworthy that they have to go through my phone, then there's no real relationship there.
My ex boyfriend's phone lit up/buzzed during a movie and I looked over as it had startled me, and I saw that it was his ex friends with benefits. We were 5 months into our relationship, spent a lot of time together, so I asked my boyfriend if I could see the messages between them on his phone. I was surprised that he handed it over without a fight--Glad he didn't. Just what had suspected they were both flirting. So in that scenario I would say yes because he lied and was being fake to me while talking to another woman. I would never want a man like that to begin with so I'm glad I saw those messages.
My boyfriend lets me go on his phone all the time so i already know he has nothing to hide from me. I will amit I've looked at his messages but only to see if he mentioned me at all and i tried to. See what kind of porn he watched turns out he doesn't watch any besides when i went through his YouTube history he watches a lot of lady's review underwear which i actually throught was really cute and innocent in a strange way. I just wanted to know what he liked and ifhed ever mentioned his feelings about me to anyone as he can be very emotionally closed off at times he's caught me loads of times doing this and not been to. Mad at me about it as i think if he got mad it show he had something to hide.
On the other side i don't let him look at my phone for lots of reasons. I don't want him to find out i use this site and see the things i write and i have a lot of pictures with me and my stisters in bikinis i don't think they'd want him seeing
I don’t thinking’s particularly bad or good but I also believe that if you’re in a relationship and if your partner just so happened to ask, it would be a red flag if the person has fear of them going through it. That alone without even going through it yet, says a lot.
If it’s in the beginning of a relationship, like just dating. It’s weird. But if it’s a long established relationship, I believe there should be no issue with showing if your partner just so asked to see without you having to have to go and delete or omitting other things if you’re faithful there should be no problem.
Mortified seems a bit melodramatic for what you’re describing. My girl is on my phone sometimes and I’m on hers. Sometimes hers is more accessible in the moment. Sometimes mine is. It’s really not a big deal. We aren’t hiding secrets. I’d have an issue dating such a private person tbh.
My ex wife locked her phone claiming I go through it because all men do that... Seriously! . I never did it once.
What she was actually worried about was she was cheating and scared I'd see something. I don't believe in doing that even after that.
Near the end she became so paranoid that she went through my phone to see if anyone had told me she's cheating. I'd mentioned in conversation someone at work who knew she was cheating and she panicked. . I had no idea he knew at the time.
It depends on the needs of the people in question. It's ALWAYS wrong to go through someone's belongings without their consent, no matter what your relationship. But my spouse and I frequently use each other's phones, as we are both okay with that and have discussed and consented to that behavior!
I mean I have never had anything to hide from a partner in the past. on my phone or any other device.
people who go thought their partners phone or other devices. are often insecure about how there relationship is with their partner in question.
however I do believe it to be an invasion of privacy. when your partner goes thought your phone without asking first.
I would never go through my partners phone, I have no need too I would trust them. If they wanted to go through my phone I would ask for the same respect that I've given them but if they felt that insecure then be my guest because I would never have anything to hide. However it would be a relationship ender because it would tell me that they don't trust me even when I've given them nothing to worry about.
Go to my marriages I left my phone on the table at all times I had nothing to hide I would always tell my wife or whatever but if you feel like you got to go through somebody's phone than you're trying to keep that person like property you know what if that person is treating you know in your heart is he's cheating or she is and just f****** leave
Unless you are hiding something then it's a no. But even if it's something that will give him/her the assurance then it's a yes. What if you end up marrying each other, if you don't allow him/her to access your phone then you might end up fighting each other.
if you do I think it's more than a sign of weakness... you have to trust your partner 100% or don't be with that person if you don't... when I had a boyfriend I could care less he talked to... we did break up because he cheated but that's beside the point
Romantic partners should not keep secrets from one another, but if my wife/girlfriend went through my phone without my permission (unless we were together long enough and well enough to have that kind of dynamic between us, and if she objected to my going through her phone without her permission), I'd dump her immediately.
I feel the same way about phones. I HATE when people touch my phone and I panic a lot even though there’s nothing really there to panic about. But my boyfriend and I are cool with our phones. It took me a while to stop freaking out but now we can use each other’s phones without fear
I think it's wrong to go through your partner's phone without permission, but I also think that if there is something about you that you hide from your partner than that's not a good sign for a relationship
Yes, I did.
Usually, a relationship build on trust, an open book, real love, no need to.
When I did, trust was broken and I was right. Being right, may not be always the best way to handle a situation.
I dont think its that big of a deal. I have nothing to hide. My personal thoughts or opinions aren't that special to hide.. for me personal space is good and boundaries.. but i guess its just a phone, I am a shy pooper?
I have nothing to hide. I leave my phone hangin' around the house. My husband can go through it if he wants. He tells me the same thing.
In a general sense, if one partner has to resort to going through their partner's phone then it is an outright indication of lack of trust and faith in their partner.
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