Is it ok to give up on girls?

[Anonymous]

I've always been relatively shy around girls who I think are attractive. Not that I can't even talk to them, but I don't know how to show my feelings without thinking they'll see me as a creep. During high school, I tried and was laughed at over and over again and my confidence sank so far down. In college my experiences haven't been any different. The closest I get are when girls show seemingly interested signs and then I finally get up the courage to ask them to hang out or grab something to eat and they say no or make up a clearly bullshit excuse. I'm confident with just about everything else in life and my guy friends love me, but they all have girlfriends and I don't and never have. I've had points where I consider just giving up because the girls I've been exposed to have either used me or treated me horribly. None of them ever try to text me first or care about me at all, so why should I bother caring about them? I'm starting to realize that, for me personally, they're just not worth the trouble and feeling down all the time for. I know a lot of guys and gals will think otherwise, but maybe relationships are just not for me. When I ignore girls I find attractive and think to myself that I will swear off dating with a chip on my shoulder, is when I feel the most confident and driven. I feel that when I find a girl who's really attractive and go for her, then I am dragged through the mud yet again and end up wasting far too much time on it. Fuck it

[BrittBratt2416]

Trust me, there are nice girls out there in the world who are willing to give you a chance. You just haven't found her yet, the girls that your going for are just immature little girls.. I say don't give up, instead be patient because you can't rush love or find it in the blink of an eye. Sometimes it just best to wait and let it come to you. Don't let a few girls get you down, because if you do that your just letting these girls win. keep trying, don't give up but at the same time be calm and patient. When the moment comes you will find that girl.. in the time being just do you and focus on you.

[Anonymous]

Some girls they are not ready for commitment or they are not ready for entering a relationship. my only advice don't let yourself rush because if you rush things you will end up on the dirt again and it may also give you a heartbreak because some girls are playing. if you dont want to get hurt you better stay put but if you really want to have a girlfriend finf out 1st if who she really is and if she is a long term partner in the near future. :-)

[Asker]

Yeah I'm tired of getting hurt, so I think the best way to go is to forget it for a few years and get my career going, and go from there. It's just unfortunate it had to be like this. My perceptions of dating girls is so bad, I hardly want to try anymore

[Opinion Owner]

don't lose hope just dont rush things. why not achieve your goals first and then you may be find the right one for you alobg the way :-)

[OptimusPrime2017]

i felt that way once and i still do about the same thing he was feeling so i did manage to have a girlfriend once and chances of that happening are rare and i still carry resentment of that but despite that, to forget about that completely, i focus on my main hobby, videogames to keep me occupied until a girl comes along, which i believe will absolutely never happen.

[Anonymous]

Next time, maybe take it slow. Get to know the person. Don't reveal too much too soon but also don't seem all closed up. Value personality over looks a bit more the next time.

[Asker]

After all I've endured, that seems like way too much effort right now. I think I'm going to take redeyemindtricks' advice and wait a while. Like at least 4 years or so, and then see what's going on. I like being alone right now, and I feel driven when there's a bit of a chip on my shoulder. I'd like to have sex, but can certainly live without it, I've done so my whole life. I get what you're saying but the personality of all the girls I've approached certainly hasn't been the kindest. Although I can respect their feelings, the way they said no or conjured up some story as to why they couldn't was absolutely disgusting. For all those reasons, I need a good long break from the emotional beatdowns

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sorry this happened to you. No body deserves this shit. If being alone is what you want, go ahead. I wish you luck :)

[Opinion Owner]

Can you please answer mine too?
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2089421-is-something-wrong

[Asker]

Thanks

[Asker]

I would say it's possible he was hanging out with his friends/was busy and that's why his replies were short. If you're seriously concerned you should call him and ask if everything is ok, but I wouldn't get too worked up over it.

[Opinion Owner]

No when I initiated the conversations he was at home and constantly online. I did call but he didn't seem interested in a conversation.

[Asker]

Ok, well call and tell him you are concerned if it seems that he's behaving differently. You guys are dating so you should feel comfortable asking him about it

[Opinion Owner]

So true, I should call him.
Thank you 😊

[Asker]

Good luck!

[redeyemindtricks]

Give up on girls, and try WOMEN.

You'll be glad you did.

<3 <3

[Asker]

So basically wait until I'm older because they'll be more mature instead of being immature ***ts all the time?

[redeyemindtricks]

There are plenty of solid women of good character at any age. It's not a matter of "waiting until you're older".

But, you should do some thought experiments. Put yrself into the shoes of such a young woman -- one who has integrity, and self-awareness, and a strong enough personality to be herself and stand up for what's right no matter what the crowd is doing.
Really -- Put yrself in her shoes. Shouldn't be that hard to do. (For most men, this is a *lot* easier than trying to understand the actions of impulsive party girls.)
What does SHE want in a man?
What does she value in a relationship?
What kind of behavior, in a man she's just meeting, will *signal* to her that he's the kind of man she wants? The kind of man who'll CHALLENGE her, and whom she can challenge back, and who can *grow* and become BETTER along with her?
... hint: probably not "sudden shyness in an otherwise mostly confident guy".

Play the empathy game. Then work on the parts of YOURSELF that need work.
Then get 'em.

[Asker]

Wow, ok. That's some seriously sound advice and I'd hate not to take it, but I just feel that I need a break right now. That's the first thought I got when I read your opinion, and I have to go with my gut. Sounds bad, but I don't think I need to try and sculpt myself into the perfect man just to get with some girl, that's just crap. Nor do I want to. Go ahead and criticize that if you'd like, but I like who I am. I think I'm a pretty solid guy, don't want to say very solid because I don't want to sound cocky, but I'm confident. I get timid around girls I like when it comes to making decisions about showing feelings, like I don't know how to touch girls in a "flirty" sense because I'm afraid I'll be made out as a creeper, so I don't touch. That probably hurts me, but I've never been taught anything like that. I digress, but I need a break

[redeyemindtricks]

Agreed. You *shouldn't* sculpt yrself into a better man FOR anyone else. You should do it for YOU.

If a break is what you need, then, a break is what you should take. The world isn't going to run out of women in the meantime.

[Asker]

Exactly. When I come back to it in a few years I should probably learn how to touch the now women in a "flirty" sense because that could help me

[redeyemindtricks]

You'll figure it out, as long as you don't sink into a self-defeating attitude. Self-fulfilling prophecy is totally a thing.

Best of luck in life and love.

[Asker]

Thanks, same to you. I don't think I have a self-defeating attitude, I think at this point it's just smart to really temper expectations, because if you expect better then all you face is even more disappointment.

[redeyemindtricks]

Expectations ≠ immediate goals ≠ long-term aspirations.

"Expectations" are things you should have for yr own conduct and how you handle situations -- and, to a certain extent, for the behavior and all-around classiness of yr closest friends and most loved/trusted relatives.

Having "expectations" for what's going to HAPPEN to you, though, is needlessly limiting. What's the point? Why have "expectations" at all?
If you HAVE "expectations", there are 2 problems: (1) as you've already acknowledged, you can be disappointed; moreover, (2) things that SATISFY "expectations" become less fulfilling and less enjoyable, because they just... satisfy expectations.

If you go into situations without any "expectations" at all, then (1) you'll learn more from everyone and every situation, (2) positive results will be more enjoyable, and (3) you'll be "on yr toes" and thus MUCH better able to adapt to situations you aren't accustomed to.

"Expectations" about how things will turn out are deadweight.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is okay, I gave up on women last summer and I've never been happier. A life with women creates interesting memories and stories for the right and wrong reasons but you can create just as many interesting memories and stories for right and wrong reasons without women.

Women for me always were a nice side dish to accompany the main meal, they were never the main course which is why it has been easy for me to transition to a woman free life and I feel happier for it.

[Asker]

Sounds like a great way to put it. Sometimes the wrong reasons overtake the right reasons, and that's when there's an even better reason to give up

[Opinion Owner]

You don't have to give up on women, you can always just take a break. I have taken a few breaks from time to time but after my last experience, I decided to throw in the towel and I couldn't be happier.

[Asker]

If 3-4 years constitutes a "break" I'm in for that haha. Doesn't hurt that I don't know what I'm "missing" either, it'll absolutely feel like a positive.

[Opinion Owner]

Then go for it. It's better to take breaks when you are burnt out and jaded than to keep on getting played, hurt, rejected and chewed up and spat out by various women. The last thing you want to become is bitter because that's only hurtful to you.

[Asker]

Exactly. I probably am a little bitter already, but ignoring them for a few years could help fix that

[Opinion Owner]

It'll help and it will enable you to focus on more important things like enjoying life more and pursuing hobbies, interests and career progression.

[Andruu4u]

Honey boo boos mom found love, if you keep trying you can too

[ShaunaM95]

It's ok to give up on girls if that's what you want to do. You shouldn't depend on having a significant other for your happiness, you should be able to be happy on your own first.

[Asker]

Yup, I'm certainly happier when I'm not pondering asking a girl out than when I'm caught up in it and getting consistently dragged through the mud. That's exactly why I'm planning on not trying to date for at least a few years

[ShaunaM95]

That's fine then. Good luck in the future!

[Anonymous]

bro same situation here😐 i know hkw you feel about it

[Opinion Owner]

I am thinking about living a life without a woman

[Asker]

Absolutely

[Chadette]

Try a woman, and not a girl. Expand your search area.

[Bandit74]

You don't need anyone's permission.

[fauchelevent]

Meh, sure, if you want. We probably won't care.

[NurflikestoSurf]

You will when more and more men do this and you women struggle to find decent men because those men have had enough and figure that they can be happy and single without the need of women. That's when it'll hit home. More and more men are choosing not to marry and not to even enter relationships.

[Asker]

@NurflikestoSurf Yeah I've heard MGTOW is a growing thing. I don't think I'll be into that necessarily but I certainly understand where they're coming from. I share a lot of their sentiments

[NurflikestoSurf]

I don't agree with MGTOW because it's a movement that does a lot of shouting. I didn't even know what MGTOW was until I watched a documentary on TV about it. Forget that, I am a man of action and I have given up on women and I don't need to shout about MGTOW.

The fact here is that more and more men are choosing to be bachelors of sorts, men are now rejecting their traditional gender roles of being the doting boyfriend and husband and are choosing to live life to the fullest without women being a main figure in that.

[Asker]

@NurflikestoSurf Probably because it MAKES SENSE hahaha. Why wouldn't you want to live a life that makes you the happiest you can be? We're here for a good time, not a long time. It's not wrong to be "selfish" if it makes you happy. Screw women trying to get you to marry them

[Asker]

*Unless she's actually great and you want to do it. I highly doubt that will ever happen with me, but miracles can occur

[NurflikestoSurf]

It does make sense, marriage doesn't benefit a man and neither does being in a relationship. These things benefit women.

[Asker]

@NurflikestoSurf And that's exactly why you avoid them. The odds of you meeting a girl that you actually want to marry is SO slim, at least in my experiences. I haven't even seen a girl from afar (girlfriends of my friends, people I vaguely know, etc.) that have the qualities of someone I'd want to be in a LTR with. Maybe I just need to meet more girls in their mid to late twenties, maybe that's just how it is universally, I don't fucking know. Long story short, it's way too complicated and it's easier on the brain and the body if you just don't worry about it anymore. The negative aspects seem to far outweigh any positive outcome

[fauchelevent]

@NurflikestoSurf Still not gonna care, dude. I'll just go find a decent woman instead :)

[NurflikestoSurf]

That's important, you don't care, you don't speak for all women, so it's probably best you remember that before sounding off like a bellend.

[fauchelevent]

@NurflikestoSurf I'm sorry but I think you should read what you wrote before you say I'm 'sounding off' like a bellend. Whatever. I didn't mean to offend you but I'm also not very interested in your opinion on this so could you maybe make a different post and continue your conversation with OP there so I don't get the notifications? Thanks! <3

[NessMess]

Congratulations on achieving a new lever of being retarded.

[Anonymous]

#MGTOW