Hi all,
Long story short I am a hot head and have a great career and have a wedding soon. I got out of my car and right next to me was someone who I thought was an anti social/drug dealer. I dont think my SO realized this and proceeded to ask him a question. He was in a rush and was clearly annoyed but answered her correctly and neutral attitude. She then came around with another question and he began yelling and told her to be quiet. He didn't curse or close the distance. Had he I would have def had to step in. That being said, I was right next to him and was in shock. I was biting down on my tongue because I knew it would most likely escalate and we all could have ended up injured or killed. I honestly had no idea how to deescalate and have never been in a situation like this before especially with someone who I thought was dangerous. I've gotten into verbal altercations which have turned into fights but have never had to deescalate a situation. After all was said and done she threw another question at him which was rude from her end and he said something and left it and she left teary eyed.
With a cool head I approached him a few days later with my SO after watching some de-escalation videos on youtube because he yelled and was rude. I couldn't let that go. I made him apologize to her. He wanted to fight but I de-escalated. Honestly if he hadn't apologized I would have escalated which is the opposite of what I am supposed to do but I am learning. He has been polite and cordial to both of us ever since.
Now my question is will my SO lose respect for me and think I am a coward because I didn't know how to defend her safely initially? Is a sincere apology sufficient after something like that sufficient? She hasn't given me any signs but it just burns.
Appreciate your time and input.
