Why do some people think that they will never find love?

[BCRanger10]

This is based on a recent question that appeared here. A lot of users said in one way or another that they didn't think they would ever find love, that they'd never find a relationship or get married.

If this applies to you, why? If you are cynical, pessimistic, or otherwise jaded about your relationship prospects, why? Why do you think that you are unworthy of being loved or pursued?

Is it because of pornography or social media? Is it because of the way you were raised? Do you think that you are unattractive? Have you given your heart away too easily in the past, only to be abused or neglected?

And I simply have to ask this one, could it be in some cases that people just haven't tried?

Family (abuse, neglect, divorce, etc.)

Cheated on or abused by former partners

Mental health (PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc.)

Unrealistic standards (I have them/I don't meet them)

Other (please explain)

[inhua]

to find something is to assume it exists in the first place

so what is love? really it's a made-up term that only popped up in the last hundred years or so to explain the positive feelings a husband and wife have towards one another.

sure there is familial love like that between a father and son or between friends within a brotherhood but one key component of love between a husband and wife is sex and by extension sexual attraction and sexual attraction is largely based on external attributes not internal attributes

no matter how much we say personality is important and that we want someone who is kind, respectful, caring etc. it all circles back to sexual attraction for us to want them in the first place. we can find plenty of kind, respectful, caring people who we would never want to have sex with

could you love a wife/husband whom you weren't sexually attracted to? and yes this boils down to looks not personality. our friends have great personalities, that's why we hang out with them but we don't fuck them because we're not attracted to them

[Sensualsubmissive]

People are wanting to find someone who will enter a relationship with them for reasons that are not common. The common reasons are: 1) Money 2) Beauty 3) Family heritage/lineage/status 4) Religion

We have expectations that are unreal for others to be intimate with us.

[Anemone978]

Well for me it is many things... my parents were alcoholics growing up so I was neglected often... I seen a lot of things that probably traumatized me. I got married early to somewhat run away from my family and then my ex would emotionally abuse me all through the relationship, I have mental health issues but those are getting a lot better these days... I just always wanted to find that true love like a shoujo manga lol. So I just don't see it happening for me I am too naïve with guys and if they give me hints I probably wouldn't even know it because I feel ugly.. and then with other guys I blatantly flirt with would most likely treat me like a hoe and never date me, so I never move forward with anything.. I just don't know how to find love I guess..

[Emiliamazing]

I certainly found love, and I am very loved. I have seen so much misrepresentation and lying in the world, even within my close circle of friends. I think it is hard for people to find trust in others, especially if they are looking for a mate/spouse. To love someone, I think you must place full trust, and then let them return the love to you.
bullying and unkind reactions to how individuals live their lives certainly contributes to unhealthy mental attitude towards yourself, and other people as well.

[jennifer_bloom]

My cousin was beautiful and very rich in her younger years and was never committed to any man because she knew there were dozens of other guys she could date aside from him and is now mid 40s, and divorced and all the caring and kind guys are married to other women and she also owns a humongous mansion so over 98% of the guys she talks to are using her for money because she isn’t as beautiful as she was in her youth.

[Juxtapose]

I have not had that much luck and it's because I am an autistic man that needs a unique type of woman. I tend to get along well with women who are direct, logical and open minded.

I like kindness a lot and value it highly but ironically I get along with sociopathic women the most thus far O_o

[Tomisworthless]

Lifelong course of events. You know how before something happens in your life it occurs in fragments little by little until it’s fully manifested into being? Well relationships and sex were never an option in my life nothing ever led to situations where a relationship could potentially blossom or being close to sex. Just outside my realm of possibility

[cjtron]

Have given heart away too easily in the past {twice} and it always ended with a heartache. Last one had said she had a boyfriend all of a sudden,,,

I'm tired of chasing, tired of showing I had feelings for someone just so they can stomp all over it.

[exitseven]

God only made a finite amount of love in the universe. It is in short supply but it is in very high demand. There is not much just lying around.

[LiamJHayden]

Self-fulfilling prophesy. Many believe this so strongly that they sabotage any realistic potential. This might be coupled with mental health issues and/or unrealistic standards. Sorry that I cannot be more specific.

[midnightmoon05]

I think many are raised with fear and discourage, low self worth. And lock good role models.

[Flower7]

Because of bad experiences with romantic interests in the past

[worldscolide]

I definitely didn't think I'd ever find love. Mine was from extreme childhood abuse.. Among other things.

[Petr87]

Unattractive people with poor social skills are not exactly embraced by society, especially if they also happen to be poor and unemployed, which they often are.

[Cubus]

I'm more on the traditional side. That's enough.

On last event my family was joking that the only place I can search in is church.

[Mayo503]

Just say I know how to pick them lol
But I’m a sucker for bitches

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I've been rejected enough where I don't see it as a possibility.

[Fuentes]

I found love it's green and paper with a dead president on it. Her name is Money 💰 💸 ❤️ 😍

[Jmmmfi4]

I simply know for a fact no girl would see anything in me

[virtual_girl]

You will always experience what you perceive

[malwins]

mayve i domt want it

[Anonymous]

They have issues with their mental health.

[Anonymous]

because they won't