Why do some people think getting a girlfriend is the easiest thing in the world?

[MusicTokuXX]

Like when i ask for advice or vent about it online, i get comments online from people like they think it’s the easiest thing in the world. I don’t get it, it’s not. I need actual advice here, not it will happen someday, dw you’ll find the one, I hope you find someone. etc. No girl has ever been interested in me or liked me and I’m already 24, so if it’s never happened now it won’t possibly happen in the next few days or weeks.

[Anonymous]

There is a very large portion of the male population that is very desperate. If you give off hints of that, you're fucked.

Women have insecure weirdos trying to fuck left right and center. They Get so many guys interested they can quickly categorize you into either normal guy or desperate and gross.

In the same way that women have to work on their beauty in order to satisfy male desire while looking for a mate, so do you as a man have to change.

But you don't get to wear makeup. And what exactly you should do is impossible to say because nobody can quantify what exactly women are attracted to.

So basically you're fucked son.

My solution is that men understand the dom/slave dynamic. Once you know that you can understand female sexuality.

Essentially it's like this:

You are the big strong man with sexual urges. She is the small weak female.

Her ultimate dream is to be enslaved by a powerful man. Ideally powerful in all realms of power.

He with the strength and her whose body is at his access at his will.

She wants to be used by him. She wants to be a table for him. She wants to wear leather and be turned into a slave footstool.

Once you understand women's fantasies, it all starts to make sense why women act the way they do. Why they chase bad boy's and so on.

All you need to learn as a man is how to satisfy those fantasies She has in the bedroom.

You don't have to be perfect. All you have to do is understand female sexuality and demonstrate the ability to satisfy her needs.

I could write a book. I want to.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have never heard of any women wanting to be a slave footstool.

[Opinion Owner]

I love women with all my heart and have zero negative feelings towards women.

I am very experienced. I know what women like in the bedroom.

It is all a spectrum. From the small stuff like maybe putting her hands behind her back while I play with her body.

All the way to the extremes where some women want to become a leather clad slave table. To get beat up or pissed on even.

It's just an example.

The thing is most men have zero clue WHY women want any of these things.

The spectrum of dom/sub shit is what most men in my opinion need to tap into, in order to understand women.

It should not result in anger and hate but in understanding and connection and pleasure and love.

But to say these things will always offend women. I don't know why because in the bedroom she sings a different song.

Most women's sexuality is operating in the freak bdsm level. Even if it is in small ways. Most women want to be dominated to some degree.

And men are clueless as to why.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not saying you are totally wrong. I am not offended either.

A lot of women are into dominant men.

I just say, MOST women do not like to be a slave footstool or to be degraded to extreme levels. Maybe a decent amount does, don’t know, have never slept with a woman.

But those are more of extreme things that not the majority of women are into.

Plus, there are plenty of dominant women and submissive men relationships.

Actually, I think, it’s men who like to be submissive, even though they have to be dominant cause that’s what many women like.

in my opinion, men see their purpose in serving women, my ex treated me like I was the Goddess herself, I did enjoy it,

Ngl, I also enjoyed it when he’d get all dominant in the bedroom, because I liked the contrast between how cherished I was by him and how different he could sometimes turn suddenly.

That was the contrast of him being a total sweetheart to me, playing with my hair, gently kissing all of my face and singing me bedtime songs that he wrote for me and then, his ability to shift into a totally different person, which sometimes scared me and I had this metaphor in my mind, that if he was an animal he would probably be a tiger, as he was so predatory, strong, wild, scary and dominating.

Yes, I liked it.

But I also liked to make him close his eyes and teach him to trust me and enjoy my lead.

I still think he was much more reserved, sweet and maybe a bit more submissive than he acted with me and that maybe he acted dominant because he expected me to like it.

In truth, I think men are the ones who enjoy letting their guards down and being submissive... Not having to take control at every part of their life.

That’s probably what you mean when you say “Most men are clueless”.

Most men are not clueless, they just want to serve more than being served, want to submit more than being submitted.

[Opinion Owner]

I'd say in the case of submissive men, they are on that spectrum. They experience a similar experience that a woman does when experiencing loss of sexual control.

I'd say your examples are not of submissive men. Just men being their real selves, being cuddly and lovey dovey and all that. That's pretty normal.

Yea there are submissive men. They have awoken that next level sexuality that most women are already on.

And a lot of guys don't have a clue about that level. They cannot fathom why women would have rape fantasies. They cannot fathom why a man would want to watch his wife get fucked.

Like when you unlock that sexuality you are a new person. It changes you.

And a lot of guys are wondering how do I get a girl? If they awakened that aspect of sexuality or at least understood, it would change them.

Like understanding that shit is majorly important in my opinion.

[Opinion Owner]

It's like the "shy girl" trope who her back blown out by a car full of thugs and afterwards she is bristling with confidence.

The innocent girl is no longer innocent. She's on that freak shit now. She's more mature now. She has boundaries now.

That's what shit that does to you. And it works on men too.

[mobiusforniner]

Dude, I used to lament about the same thing in my early 20s. And there’s no easy answer here. You have to change your perspective. Instead of being angry and frustrated at the seemingly unfairness of life, turn the focus on yourself. Only YOU have the power to change circumstances. Improve yourself. This means investing in a skill. Getting out. Not being afraid. Meeting people and actually conversing. Developing boundaries. Being authentically kind yet knowing when to say no. Growing. admitting when you’re wrong and being okay with that

When you’re not worrying about finding a woman, they’ll oddly enough find you. Because at that point you’re content with yourself, you have a sense of self worth and can confidently handle any situation.

No woman wants a whiny little puss cake who bitches about lifes unfair hand. It just shows he’s got no control. No lead. It shows he’s NOT a man

So take control and DO something.

[mobiusforniner]

I will also add, what I describe above does not come without challenge. Or rejection. It’s not something which just happens overnight. I was rejected a LOT. Had several breakups. Each one taught me something new. Again…. its about your perspective.

[MissStrawberry912]

it's not easy to find a good & loyal compatible partner.

it is easy to find someone to take an interest. If you are having issues with it, maybe consider what could be some of those challenges and what can you do to work on yourself in those areas i. e. personality, morals, demeanors, intentions, values, goals, hygiene, physical, spirituality, communication skills, how you treat others, etc. It can be a combination of things. For example,

I can meet a guy who has a typical good looks & stable, but if his personality is bad & bad morals... I dont even find him attractive easily anymore.

I can meet a guy who has has a good and charming personality, good looks, and stable... but he is a player & flirts around... I would also be turn off and lose attraction.

I can meet a guy who is like average looking, but seem like a great person, charming, has goals, and align values... I can start being interested.

[Chandelier8]

Just treat us nicely, like you would any friend of yours. Sign up for classes in things you're interested in. If you find someone you like, do thoughtful things for them. Put thought into every compliment you give. Avoid talking about things she is born with (like beauty, hair), instead focus on things she has chosen or done. Don't be a creepy stalker and make sure you pick up on any signals if you aren't welcome. If she smiles or laughs, she's probably okay with you but note any discomfort in body language. If she walks away from you, without any friendliness, leave it be.

[MusicTokuXX]

@Chandelier8 if I treated every girl like how I treat my friends, i would never get a girlfriend because they would always put me in the “I just think of you as a friend” zone. Also classes? What classes? I don’t go to school anymore. I suck at talking to people especially girls even more so girls I’m interested in cuz I don’t want to mess up. My social skills suck, I can’t read body language so

[Chandelier8]

Oh I thought you were looking for advice not just an opportunity. Okay, you'll never find anyone and that's the truth. With your attitude, forget it, you'll never find anyone and that's a good thing.

[Chandelier8]

Keep ranting though... that'll help ;)

[MusicTokuXX]

@Chandelier8 well that was really rude! You have no idea how tough it is for me. You have no idea what i went through ever since I started seeing girls as love interests starting 8th grade. You think it’s so easy. My social skills are really bad, and I have no idea how to talk to people. What’s wrong with my attitude anyway? So saying the truth about myself is bad? You don’t know me.

[Chandelier8]

You don't want a solution, you don't want to try = you fail for the rest of your life. Bye. Stop wasting people's time.

[Chandelier8]

There is a reason you have a problem in life with women! You're a terrible person.

[Chandelier8]

Calling women bitches is a sure sign! I reported that.

[Avicenna]

If you take care of yourself, it gets easier as you get older. The difficult part is finding someone compatible.

If you find yourself getting frustrated, take a break from dating and do other things.

[MusicTokuXX]

@Avicenna All the girls i meet always would always put me in the “I just think of you as a friend” zone. I suck at talking to people especially girls even more so girls I’m interested in cuz I don’t want to mess up. I never been in a relationship before and I’m already 24 while a lot of my friends had girlfriends in middle/high school.

[Avicenna]

Then take a timeout from trying to date and do other things that are more satisfying

[MusicTokuXX]

@Avicenna i want a girlfriend tho, I want to find love cuz i feel so alone Rn, like seriously, i feel like I’m the only person in the world and I’m invisible. I have so much love to give but I’m forced to keep it inside or give it to stuffed animals. Nothing in my life is more satisfying than my motivation to find love which is the only motivation i have to live actually. The only other thing is binge watching my favorite tv shows and singing which don’t give me the same pleasure.

[Avicenna]

Be careful- you are exactly the kind of guy that can be taken advantage of by some clever woman

[MusicTokuXX]

@Avicenna Why? Wdym by that? Explain

[Avicenna]

You're too desperate right now

[MusicTokuXX]

@Avicenna you try to be in my situation and not be desperate. I’m already 24 and I never had a girlfriend and yet most of guy friends had girlfriends already in high school. I want to find love? Is that such a bad thing? What am I supposed to do?

[Avicenna]

How about taking a more positive attitude? How about making yourself more interesting? Take dance lessons, learn how to play a musical instrument, learn a language.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

Because for some people, getting a girlfriend is easy for them. If someone asks you something they think is difficult, but for you, it's easy, wouldn't you respond back by thinking it's "the easiest thing in the world", or at least easy?

I'm having an extremely hard time believing no girl (or woman) had ever liked you, or been interested in you at your age. Hell, I'm sure girls have been checking you out since puberty. You probably don't realize girls are checking you out, or are interested in you.

Finally, you very well may happen to find in girlfriend in the next few days, or weeks. Most males in your age group aren't very bright, so the bar is very, very low. All you have to do is the bare minimum: Listen to them, talk to them, and smile. It's hard to find women in your age group who don't have a partner, I agree there, but just keep trying.

[MusicTokuXX]

@EnglishArtsteacher problem with that is I don’t meet people on a daily basis anymore since i left school. And also if girls were interested in me, through time, they would eventually pick up their confidence and approach and talk to me but no that’s never happened. I’ve been friend zoned so many times, having girls saying “i only see/think of you as friend” especially throughout my school years.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

I understand it's tough for a lot of people (including me). Just keep your head up, and keep trying.

Please, quit the notion of "the friend zone". It's not real. Women either want to be friends with you, or they don't. There is no nefarious "friend zone" women are plotting for your demise.

[MusicTokuXX]

@EnglishArtsteacher
nefarious friend zone? What are you talking about? I meant every girl i met in my life always says “I only see/think of you as friend” Which is like I don't know what I’m doing wrong, what’s wrong with me? No girl has ever shown any interest in me whatsoever. I suck at talking to people especially girls but i’m not a bad guy. I’m already 24 and I never been in a relationship before and all crushes i had were always one sided, which was always me. I don't know what to do anymore. As i said in my last message i don’t meet people on a daily basis so it’s a very low chance of me meeting anyone especially a girl.

And if a girl was ever interested in me, as i said through time they would’ve just approached me eventually but no that’s never happened so yea. So I’m pretty much discouraged at this point

[EnglishArtsteacher]

I just mean the whole concept of a "Friend Zone" sounds silly. Perhaps women only want to be friends with you, but there is no "zone".

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Have you ever thought of seeking therapy to help? Perhaps ask others for advice?

[MusicTokuXX]

@EnglishArtsteacher therapy? What for? And what do you think I’m doing Rn? Huh? Not asking for people for advice cuz that’s exactly what I’m doing.

[Hulk_kitty]

Its not easy for guys. Girls are getting many hits with loads of guys in the dating scene. Even if your and ugly girl, they still get more guys offering them, than a ugly guy.

Most people are saying now, its only 10% maybe less, of the guys that are having success with the women. So that leaves 90% of guys feeling fustrated, angry with the dating scene.

I believe I could get myself a girlfriend, it won't be easy, but I can't bothered with it, more focused chasing after my goals, than chasing women. I don't believe women would make any difference to my happiness.

[Hulk_kitty]

I don't like andrew tate personally, not my cup of tea as influencer. But what he says for young guys to do on the dating scene, is absolutely true.

[wiltingrosepetal]

@hulk_kitty Don't listen to anything Andrew Tate says. Seriously, he lied and fcked up a generation of men. If all young guys did what he said, they'd:
-Date multiple women at once
-Physically harm women to force them into submission
-Use money over their partners as a control mechanism
-Cheat on them (because in his eyes there's nothing wrong with a man cheating on a woman)
-Avoid female friendships
-Avoid friendships with their sisters
-Take money from them if they were doing prostitution
-Regularly say sexist/cruel things to lower their egos
-Avoid interests in traditionally geeky things like anime because no female nerds exist
-Date as young as possible
-Never commit fully to any woman

And the list goes on.
No one should listen to a person who made money from human trafficking, manipulating insecure men, abusing women and scamming people.

[Hulk_kitty]

@wiltingrosepetal I never heard him say these things, because I don't listen to him much. All I have heard him say, young men should increase their value, by making themselves more successful, and don't chase women.
Yes a lot of the stuff, he says is toxic.

[Chthou95]

Dont listen to what women say. Women give terrible dating advice and dont know how to attract women as a man

[Hulk_kitty]

@Chthou95 Don't listen to anyone, I only listen to people that I think give valueable advice, and that will help me.
Men and women are capable doing the same, giving bad and good advice, just depends who you listen to. I generally don't take advice, i go what i feel is right, if doesn't work, I will take responsiiblity for it.

[Chthou95]

But men would be better at giving advice because men have to approach and learn how to be better at attracting women. You don't ask the fish how to catch fish, you ask the fisherman

[Anonymous]

I've met different kinds of guys, and the ones i run away from very quickly are the ones who are desperate. No matter how hard they try or even though they try to hide it, we can sense that “vibe” very quickly and it is a huge turn off. Nothing else becomes appealing anymore. Not trying to be rude but trying to be helpful.


I read your recent posts. There must be a reason no girl has liked you yet. Obviously none of us can know what that is unless you tell us. Is it your looks, personality, attitude, or something else? Did you say somewhere you dont have a job or do you just work from home? What are your values? Goals? When a girl likes a guy there’s always something about him she admires. A guy always has something to offer. What are yours? Do you like yourself? Are you a confident person?


I think it’s important to think about possible reasons why girls never liked you and work on improving that and more.

[Opinion Owner]

And to add, my boyfriend was 24 when i met him, and im his first serious girlfriend. He’s told me that girls “hated” him growing up. Yet he’s the love of my life and I couldn’t feel any luckier to be loved by him. So i dont think you should be worried because of your age, your girl might still be out there you just have to be patient and also dont just like girls because you love the idea of having a girlfriend, but do build a connection first and get to know them first. You will know if they feel the same way because it will feel right.

[MusicTokuXX]

“Be patient” that’s what everyone says. I’m already 24 and most of my friends have had girlfriends already, in high school. And every girl I’ve met always says in the end “I think of you only as friend” and i’m like thinking what’s wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? I suck at talking to people especially girls more so with girls I’m interested in. Every conversation I have feels the same. I hate the small talk, i rather cut to the chase fast

[Opinion Owner]

Well girls dont like that so 🤷‍♀️

[MusicTokuXX]

Seriously? You aren’t helpful at all! Idek why you even answered in the first place! Wdym girls don’t like that? What don’t girls like? You’re such a rude person!

[Opinion Owner]

we’re starting to see why u haven't had a girlfriend. No one can help you.

[Opinion Owner]

Seems like you just like whining instead of acting like a man.

[MusicTokuXX]

And what exactly is acting like a man? You have no idea how tough it is! Also you don’t know me, you don’t know what my life is like. I’m only 24, i’m not whining. You’re being rude asf! What is your problem?

[Opinion Owner]

Lol you sound like a bitch. No offense.

[MusicTokuXX]

What Tf is your problem? Why are you acting so rude and immature? You sound like a kid. You’re not exactly helping. You’re just being rude, critical and judging for no reason!

[AnusNdaPainus]

“it won’t possibly happen in the next few days or weeks.”

Dude can you give me those powerball numbers please I didn’t know that you were psychic

women love men with a sense of purpose

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.”

whatever path you choose to walk in your life I promise you there are many women along the way

you are in your fucking 20s you have so much life ahead of you

beat off every night if you have to until

but I promise you that if you do what you love the women will come

we are all self made but only the successful will admit it

[pickles77]

It can be challenging but look at where you are and start from there. Your social skills suck? Read up on it and work on yourself. You don’t know how to talk to girls find a book and gain knowledge. The more mistakes you make the closer you get to fixing them and finding someone for yourself and trust me your probably not as bad as you think. Sometimes there’s just a few things that can make a big difference and once you gain the confidence it will be a lot easier. It’s like riding a bike, it seems scary at first but you do it a few times and you don’t think about it anymore. When you have the experience you’ll stop beating yourself up. But first work on the areas that you need work on and even do it with girls. Why not? Just don’t have any expectations except to learn.

[Anonymous]

well... it doesn't have to be hard. you're 24... you're acting like you're 74. you have so much more to experience and so much more time. and not having a girlfriend by the time you're age 24 is literally NOTHING in the grand scheme of things. turn your attitude around. maybe someone will find you pleasant to be around.

[MusicTokuXX]

every girl i’ve met in my life always says “I only see/think of you as friend” Which is like I don't know what I’m doing wrong, what’s wrong with me? No girl has ever shown any interest in me whatsoever. I suck at talking to people especially girls but i’m not a bad guy. I’m already 24 and I never been in a relationship before and all crushes i had were always one sided, which was always me. I don't know what to do anymore. i don’t meet people on a daily basis anymore since i left school so it’s a very low chance of me meeting anyone especially a girl.

And if a girl was ever interested in me, as i said through time they would’ve just approached me eventually but no that’s never happened so yea. So I’m pretty much discouraged at this point

[Opinion Owner]

well, you're not exactly helping yourself since you don't even go out. you don't have to be at school to meet people. tons of people meet others at events, work, etc.
and no, not many girls approach guys even if they are interested in them. it's pretty rare. i don't agree with it, but most girls are like that.

[MusicTokuXX]

I’m not a social person, I suck at talking to people. I don’t have a reason to go out. If i were in a crowd, i feel suffocated. And i feel like people just ignore me whenever i try to talk to someone.

[Opinion Owner]

i'm sorry to hear that. maybe some therapy could help you cope with crowds better. if you are comfortable with where you are now, then no need to change.

[Sonorous]

Because it simply is for them. They have a luckier hand dealt to them. Best not to pay much attention to those types if you disagree with them. Instead, you may need to find people like you who share your specific obstacles. But make sure they've either had dating success or are seeking it in intelligent ways.

[exitseven]

Some people do seem to have better luck. My best friend was way better looking than me. He always had lots of girlfriends and had sex way before I did. I used to be jealous sometimes but maybe I would appreciate the girlfriends that I did have. He is on his 4th marriage. I will be married to the same person forever

[Nikki1989]

If you have an active social life and are meeting new people regularly, it should be very easy. I know men that have had 3 or 4 different women to choose from to date, and I hear that often.

[MusicTokuXX]

@Nikki1989 Well I’m Asocial and an introvert. I don’t meet people on a daily basis ever since i left school. My social life is basically non existent cuz i suck at talking to people especially girls.

[Nikki1989]

Well, sorry to say this, but you probably always be single. Life is what you make of it.

[MusicTokuXX]

@Nikki1989 you make it sound like it’s easy. There’s never a reason to go out especially when you have nothing to do. Also you’re being very rude. Not helpful at all. Idek why you even responded to this post. You sound very ignorant.

[BourbonAndBacon]

It is the easiest thing in the world if you put in the effort. It's a learned skill. Be someone worth dating and they will date you. If you aren't getting dates, you aren't worth dating yet. It only takes 4-6 months to figure it out.

[MusicTokuXX]

@BourbonAndBacon Wtf are you talking about?

[BourbonAndBacon]

Level up and stop feeling sorry for yourself

[MusicTokuXX]

@BourbonAndBacon wdym level up? Wdym by someone worth dating?

[BourbonAndBacon]

Get your career on a good path, wear decent clothes and learn how to communicate with women. That's how you level up
I have some female friends that I used to work with and when the found out I was single, the tried to set me up with someone. That's validation that I'm worth dating. I know how to be good with women. It's a skill that can be learned and it doesn't take long.

[rachel776b]

it is, for guys who know how to talk to girls, which can be learned

[MusicTokuXX]

@rachel776b really? How? How do you talk to girls? Cuz I have no idea how.

[MusicTokuXX]

@rachel776b

[Anonymous]

everybody is giving you advice but theyre right. you dont want advice, you just wanna complain. keep it up and you'll be single the rest of your life. you dont even know the problem why you can't get one girlfriend? its easy to see why.

[MusicTokuXX]

Wtf is your problem? You’re being so rude! You people have no idea how hard it is for me. You people have no empathy whatsoever. It’s like you automatically think I’m like everyone else so every advice that works on other people will work on me! You have no idea! You don’t know who i am, you people think it’s so easy and I never tried. I tried in 8th grade, all throughout high school and nothing ever happened so eventually i got tired of hearing “I only think of you as a friend” and rejection. How am I supposed to know why I can’t get a girlfriend? Am i just supposed to know? You people don’t seem to want to understand my problem and instead think of it as excuses and complaint. You people are seriously judgmental and rude!

[Siri137]

Because it is. I've got lots of girlfriends :)

[MusicTokuXX]

@Siri137 so much arrogance here. And probably a playboy

[Siri137]

Arrogance? It isn't "arrogant" to simply state a fact.

[OldBlue]

I've written four dating profiles for guys on this site.

How many of those guys do you think had the courage to post them?

[MissBoogus]

My boyfriend found me by joining POF about 9 years ago, but I’ve heard the dating sites have changed a lot. Things used to be simpler I think , and also everything seems to be pay to win now

[MusicTokuXX]

@MissBoogus i hate dating apps, i never get any matches, genuine matches at least, every girl i meet on dating apps are either scammers or really horny people. And unless I join premium, I can’t see who liked me first which sucks!

[Likes2drive]

It’s not easy, it’s usually through family and friends setting you up is the best way or you could try your luck and dating apps like Bumble or Okcupid but that’s about it but unless you have good confidence there is no easy way

[Billlewis]

Because society is so fixated on the hook up culture.

[FunkyMonkee]

Got me! I've been trying for the past 28 years (as of tonight) and I haven't been able to get one!

[jahaims]

Because different things for different people vary in difficulty depending on the individuals attributes