Do you think "no contact" and giving him space will make him want me again?

[Anonymous]

Me and this guy were dating for a few months and then one day, out of nowhere, he broke up with me. While we were dating, everything was perfect. We would talk and text every single day, we would see each other on the weekends (we live 2 hours apart), he introduced me to all of his friends, told his family about me, and met some people in my family. We talked about a future together and even made plans to do stuff this summer. He told me I was his dream girl and perfect and everything he had ever wanted in a girl. He even told his closest friends that he thought I was "the one." He was really stressed with work and had a lot on his plate. His parents had also just recently told him they were getting a divorce. Randomly one day he said that he just had too much going on in his life and needed to focus on getting his life in order and focus on his family before he got someone else involved. I, of course, started to panic a little and tried really hard to convince him to not break up with me but he was dead set on his decision. After a few days of on and off talking (I always started the conversation) he finally told me he needed space. So that's what I've been giving him. Neither of us have talked to the other and it's been exactly one month. I'm just wondering if by not talking to him at all and giving him the space he said he needs, will this make him miss me and want to talk to me again? How long would it take for him to talk to me again? I don't want to ruin my chances of getting back together by pestering him and that's why I haven't tried to talk to him again, but I also don't want him to think that me not talking to him means I've moved on...because I definitely have not. He's the only guy I've ever fallen in love with, he's never been in love with any of his other girlfriends and I'm pretty sure he was falling in love with me...

[Anonymous]

Wow, I like how you reacted to the situation, props to you. I'm not sure if it will make him miss you but I'm pretty sure he still wants to talk to you, just can't really get his head around that with all that he has happening atm. I'm not sure how long it'll take, first he needs to destress - that can take awhile. It's already heaps good that you left him alone for a MONTH, that's a hard thing to do, so I guess if you dropped him a little question, it wouldn't be too hard on him, and hopefully it's somewhat acceptable to him.

MM wait, pretty sure he was falling in love with you? :x, it sounded like you were really really sure of that at the start. If he does love you, I'd suggest just letting him know that for now you're willing to wait for him, but to please let you know if he just wants to move on? Just explain that you do want to be with him but not knowing what he's going to do after he gets his space is an issue.

It sounded pretty clear that it was over till he mentioned "he got someone else involved." Just ask him to clarify what he means - if he is willing, later, to go back to you or not.

How long were you with him?

[Opinion Owner]

If he doesn't respond, you will probably need to move on. Look after health and thoughts.

[Asker]

We were together for 3 months...some of the conversations we had (like a future together) seemed to happen pretty fast, but he was always the one starting them. I want to talk to him again SO badly but everyone keeps telling me to wait until he talks to me...but I mean, it's been a month! AH!

[Opinion Owner]

mmm work out a timeframe then. Set a date where you feel comfortable enough (given him space) to know that you aren't meant to be left 'hanging' (he might not even know you're waiting - he might have thought he broke it off for good) and then ask him that question but try not to be too emotional.

[katg4560]

I would definitely give him space. Also typically when someone breaks up "out of nowhere" the "out of nowhere" is only on one side.

[Asker]

I mean I can see how he might have been thinking about doing it because of the stress, but I just meant "out of nowhere" because everything was fine between us...we never got in fights, never argued, made each other really happy, etc.

[katg4560]

I'm just saying how you might have been happy but he might not have and all the extra stress was an easy excuse. Just my thoughts which don't mean a lot since I don't really know either of you. It's just what I've seen in friends relationships: one hated the guy she was dating but still got him a vday present and acted all loving to him when she had been planning on leaving him for a month and he didn't see it coming. I know this might not be the case with you but it is a possibility

[WeaponZero]

Honestly there's no guarantee. There's a chance it could, but it's more likely that time without you in his life will just make it easier for him to put him behind you. Given how things went I'd say you have a better chance than most other girls of making it work for you, but it's still a pretty small one. I think a better thing to do would be to simply wait a couple weeks with no contact except for when and if he contacts you, then reintroduce yourself into his life as a friend who is there for him when he needs you. That's also no guarantee, but the chances are better of going completely no contact.

[Asker]

Wait a few more weeks? Because I've already been waiting a month...I really just want to send him a text right now and see how he is..

[WeaponZero]

If it's already been a month then go ahead.

[greenman22]

there are plenty of fish in the sea, and unless your a marlin, he will put his line in again and keep throwing back the cod. so unless you think you are a "trophy" jusr stay on the line.

[Asker]

He definitely made me feel like a "trophy"...and talked to his closest friends and family like I was the greatest thing that had ever happened to him...

[greenman22]

them he was probably getting scared, if you think he was falling in love with you, he might have thought you were to good for him and that he couldn't take it if you broke up with him so he had to to it himself.

[Asker]

But then why would he go through with the breakup even when I tried to get him not to? And should I just keep giving him space or should I try talking to him first, even though he was the one who broke up with me?