Why do some people have a problem with their partner looking at porn or other people?

[nice_guy7]

This is primarily a question to girls since guys rarely mind their girlfriends/wives looking at porn.

I have seen many questions on here from women wondering what to do about their guy looking at porn or asking why guys look at porn. I have answered many but I now want to know why girls have a problem with this. why?

I am not going to go into exactly why guys or girls like porn here, but I will say this. There is really no logical connection between the activity of looking at porn or other people or even masterbating and being in a relationship. stop looking for one. why do you think there is one? why do you think that someone would stop looking at porn just because they are in a relationship? I fail to see the connection. women always want to make some connection and talk about how they must not be good enough or that their guy must not be getting what he wants. where is this coming from?

consider this: if I play soccer and then I get in a relationship, is there any reason to stop playing soccer? of course not, same goes for porn and masterbation. maybe you are now thinking, "but hey, soccer isn't sexual. since the guy gets sex now, why would her need to masturbate or look at other girls?"

you are right, relationships and masturbating to porn or looking at it do offer some similar things. but now consider this example. if I play soccer and then I begin to play basketball, should I quit soccer? of course not, that would be silly. but wait, soccer and basketball are both sports, both similar physical activities, why need both? well, maybe I like both, why would I quit one just because I play another?

Similarly, looking at girls and masturbating is a similar but entirely different activity than being in a relationship and having sex. why would one preclude the other? why not do both? one really has nothing to do with the other, just as soccer has nothing to do with basketball. why am I only allowed to do one sexual activity but many physical sport type ones? what is wrong with doing several sexual type activities? if one doesn't get in the way of the other then it is fine. maybe if the porn stops the sex life then it is a problem, but usually it doesn't. if the sex life isn't happening it is probably for another reason than the porn.

now there are some sexual activities like cheating that we don't do when in a relationship, but that is because they actually ruin the relationship and involve lying and disease and many complications and they involve real feelings for someone else. it makes sense not to cheat, but it doesn't make sense not to look at porn. there is just no logical connection. just because porn and relationships both involve nudity and sexuality doesn't mean there is a causal connection. there is no reason why someone wouldn't enjoy both and no reason to worry about it or get mad or upset about it.

let people play two different sports, as long as they don't miss practice.

[showgirlcate]

Through socialization, girls have learned that our sole value as a human being is based not on our behaviors or accomplishments, but on our physical attractiveness. We have learned this not just through the media, but the fact that men gaze at women on a regular basis as if we can't see them. This results in issues of insecurity and jealousy. I truly hate it when my man and I are walking down the street and he looks some girl up and down. Then when I call him out on it, he makes some awkward excuse. It's so disrespectful, not just to me, but to her as well. I hate it even more when I'm just trying to go to work or something and I can see guys just staring at me. It's especially nice when they honk their horns like it doesn't make them appear incredibly desperate. And porn? Well we all need a little release sometimes. I don't think porn is bad, but I prefer to watch it with him. It would be real shady if he felt he had to be secretive about his watching porn. That's the only time I would have a problem with it.

I think you just have to understand the context in which women grow up in this country. As a gender, we are constantly being sexualized. There's bound to be repercussions.

[nice_guy7]

Hhhhmmmmm, you bring up an interesting point. I am sure the socialization has a great deal to do with it. I find it strange that women feel uncomfortable with being looked at by men. I will sometimes look at a girl in a public situation and it isn't sexual, I am just really appreciating her beauty on many levels and it makes a bus ride so much more enjoyable to get that little treat. Unfortunately this sexualization of women has really ruined things like this innocent activity I described.

[Joe_Dee]

From a female's point of view it is still looked at like cheating. Here's a thought into why some females might feel that way...

If a man in a relationship masturbates to porn, he is watching and sharing himself with another naked women. Even if it isn't physically cheating, he is lusting after her and getting sexual gratification out of it.

Now, let's switch roles...

If the woman in the relationship, let's say, reconnects with an old male friend via fb or email, and then over time she started to share her personal life him (them being just friends and all). That woman's man may feel the same way other women feel about their men and porn. Even though the woman did NOT physically meet up with him or have sex with this friend. Her man would feel jealous, hurt, and/or betrayed. Because she is giving herself (attention and emotions that should only be shared with her man) to another man.

Same thing to a woman when her guy masturbated to porn. He is sharing himself sexually with someone else, even if it is through a computer screen or phone.

[Hippy]

we don't have a problem with porn it's something we could watch together and turn us on, but looking at other woman means your being turned on else were that does not include her and might make her think that if you had a better offer you would move on, and it's not just woman men are just as bad I had a fella once were I had to practically walk with my head down cos if I accidentally looked at a bloke he would get mad saying I don't love him even if a other bloke checked me out and I wasn't even looking it would somehow be my fault,

[nice_guy7]

I guess the thing I don't understand is, how do women seriously think that a better sexual offer would be enough to jump ships? I am never with a woman for purely sexual reasons, and it is a serious insult to men when their women think that the man is with her because it is the best sexual offer he can get at the time. Sexual gratification is just a bonus of a relationship and is really quite un-necessary since we can get that from masterbation (sex wit a partner is obviously much better).

[sobg71124]

It is impossible to justify that watching P*rnography is not being unfaithful. A man's eyes are reserved for his lady alone, and vice versa. P*rnography ruins relationships too, in that, the guy views the sickest, most perverted, and demented stuff that can be done with, and to, the human body, over time begins to normalize it, then starts to expect it from his wife. It's nothing but an addiction and a poison to men and to relationships.

[Aboredperson]

You sir, are a woman's dream guy. This is an old post but kudos to you. Have a nice day.

[sobg71124]

Yes, this one was a refresher, but thank you SO much for the compliment! There are many guys just like me, by the way. My friends, by brother, my father, and countless others who think this way. You do NOT have to settle for a man who insists this to be "necessary" in your relationship. It is not. A man who loves you will demonstrate restraint in it and other such other things. You deserve this type of man. I wish you the very best of fortune in this, and if you ever want to chat, please let me know and I will let you know how. Have a super great day! (or night, in your case!)

[katie1806]

Wish I could date u

[tryjthhe]

@katie1806 Me too, I wish it weren't so rare to find a man like this

[wanacot]

It boils down to insecurity. You should have noticed by now that even the hottest girls are still insecure about their looks. Likewise, the girls that typically get the maddest about porn are the most insecure/close minded ones that view it as a personal attack against them. In fact, the first thing out of their mouths is usually "Why does he need porn, am I not good enough?"

[Belleza]

Not really the first thing out of my mouth would be mmmhhh......very interesting! I guess being fake is in again!

[GuysJustBeGayInsted]

Imagine if

Imagine if the world offered up a smorgasboard of men to women, to gawk and oggle at to their hearts desire,

Imagine if women had their own preferences for which men they like to look at, categorized by their body type

Skater, beef cake, scrawny, chubby, athelete,

What if they could look at quite literally 10s of 1000s of men of any kind they wanted to of any variety, down to hair color, penis size, height, skin color, age, race, demeanor,

Literally anything, you name it and there was a market for it.


Imagine the most popular type was fresh and wide eyed 18-20 year old college men, tall and thin with perfectly shaped muscles, big enough to be manly but not too big that they'd be intimidating, with large penises and a tight ample set of asymmetrical balls to accentuate their smooth and hairles freshly waxed taint, all to grace their beautifully plump and muscular assess.


Imagine if wives spent long hours masturbating to videos of these men performing cunnilingus and analingus on women while tied down, spit on, and slapped.

Imagine if these videos depicted men having spontaneous multiple orgasms just from going down on women and letting women aggressively penetrate their anuses.

Imagine women ignored their husbands and denied them intimacy because they couldn't stop looking at huge penis porn.

Imagine they scrolled endlessly to watch young 18 year old athletic men prance around in speedos so women could stare at their exceptionally large penises bouncing around, as they practically drooled all over the screen

Imagine women patted each other on the back and laughed as they described the 22 year old grocery clerk scanning their groceries, and how badly they wished they could squeeze his tight little ass, all in front of their dear husbands.


Imagine women scoffed at their husband's every time they voiced how small it made them feel,

"I'm a woman, I can't pretend I don't have eyes! I just appreciate the male form!"

Imagine women told each other and their husbands that reciprocating oral was kinda icky, but that it was okay because men could orgasm from penetration anyways

But that they'd be down to watch another man do it to him!



Imagine that men tried to tell their wives how lonely and neglected they felt, and women simply said "Aren't you happy I'm not out there cheating on you with every Tom, Dick, and Harry? This is just fantasy, it's not real!"


Imagine women everywhere told each other that it was normal to spend this much time looking at naked men.

Imagine, when, men finally had enough of this that women got together in groups and spoke of how broken they were

How much pain they were in and how victimized they were by this unrelenting force that wanted them to fixate on beautiful irresistible men

How how the world had used their love of large penises against them!

Imagine women encouraged each other to celebrate the small victories, after all, they didn't jerk off to that cute grocery clerk again!

Imagine women encouraged each other to ignore their cruel, mean, nagging husbands after all how could men ever understand how hard it is to be a woman?

[Ellie-V]

Don't be in a relationship and watch porn. Simple. Be a casual dater or whatever. Or find you a girl who doesn't care about if you watch porn or not. Why would you compare sports to a relationship in the first place? The reason why those two things do not correlate, is because sports are not human beings with feelings. Women get insecure. If you feel like you need variety for your mind or your imagination... fine. But ur girl doesn't wanna be included in the mix. She wants to be the only one. And maybe you think that's selfish, well... it's selfish for you to be okay with hurting your girls self esteem by continuing to do the one thing she has a problem with. You as a guy may not care if your girl watches porn, but that doesn't give you the excuse to do it yourself. If it's hurting your partner, you should stop period. That goes for porn and anything else.

[marriednmom]

Couldn't have said it better. It's exactly how I feel but he doesn't understand and I am trying to see his perspective because I love him too much to leave

[HelloStranger]

I think it mostly has to do with jealousy. If one girlfriend is extremely jealous when their man looks another woman, she certainly isn't going to be okay with him getting off with it. And it's also the sense that they may think that if he can look at other women all the time on porn, then he probably does it in reality and would want that sexual connection physically with the hott girl. I've been married for a couple years now, and at first I did have a problem with it, but then I just compromised and watched it with him and it's all good.

Because for me, I know that if my man is watching porn at night, he's at home and not out actually doing it.

[marriednmom]

That is what my man said: i am not out with another. So everytime I feel jealous I try to remind myself that this is better than that. But it's hard to control your feelings.

[jazzyjazz8515]

I think a lot of women have a problem with it because when we love someone we want to be loved on the same level but when a guy masterbates to p*rn basically imagining having sex with someone else it makes us as woman feel not only disrespected but also a general sense of not being enough to sexually satisfy the man they love. We want to be the only one wanted. otherwise we can't emotionally connect on the level we are programed to and without that connection our feelings can easily sway. Women are more feeling then thinking it's just how we are programed.

[Anonymous]

I personally have no problem with it. My husband watches porn occasionally but I don't. If it fulfills some fantasy of his that I can't or won't (different ethnicities, 3 somes) then so be it. im secure enough with myself and in our marriage to know that sex isn't everything but is still an important part of being human.
As for looking at other women in general like in public or something it also doesn't bother me. Generally it makes some other women feel more confident in herself, who wouldn't want to feel that? if looking gets him all hot and bothered it's less work for me later 😂
If other men look at me (I'm usually oblivious to it) and he's noticed it also works out in my favor, he will quickly hold my hand or put his arm around me.

[Imme83]

i don't have a problem with my man watching porn. It's the fact that our sexual relationship has suffered. That's when the insecurities come in. I start to doubt his attraction to me, etc. If our sex life hadn't changed then I wouldn't give a second thought to him watching porn. I'm actually ok with him looking at other women as long as I am not with him. It's human nature to look but I find it highly disrespectful if we are walking together or standing there having a conversation and he starts checking out another female.

[Anonymous]

The problem I have with it is my boyfriend of 3 years would rather jerk off than have sex with me and I want sex daily.

I also think it gives guy fantasies that us women can’t fulfill. Most porn stars are these tiny, big cheated women and that’s not real life. It makes me feel inadequate and self conscious about myself and jealousy. It makes me feel that my boyfriend would rather watch that then be with me.

[katie1806]

I think porn is cheating. U r saying that u can do several sexual activities together. In that case, sleeping with someone is also okay. The only difference between porn and sleeping with someone is that in porn u fantasize about sleeping with someone while in actual sex, u actually sleep with someone. Porn is mental cheating, not as bad as sex but still bad.

[Kotton]

Hi guys. Have you ever been interested in watching Mature women have sex? I didn't have sex with a grown woman, but I watched
big tits mom and I liked it. These women are so passionate and fuck like the last time.

[Cute_yui]

I don't mind a guy watching porn. It even gives him more idea's to pleasure me

[I_M_LEGEND]

well p*rn is obviously harmful and others is kinda disrepsectful if you do it a certain way

[mrsterlingarcher]

I don't. I have a problem with her loving someone more than me. (Except family, of course). I'm her guy, so her heart oughtta flutter only for me, just like mine is hers.

[NampuFufu]

Masturbate while watching porn would increase chances for him to have PIED , cum too fast , hands addicted and that's problems when he want to have sex with you.

[Anonymous]

https://youtu.be/RwyBcwx-Jhw?t=1s

[Inevitable_opening68]

I download porn for entertainment only i use Videopower RED to download porn

[opurba]

Insecurity. .

[williambeckworth]

She don't mind