Questions: Relationships

I am probably in the forever alone crowd.

I am 28 and never had a real girlfriend. Meanwhile, just about all of my former childhood friends and most people I know are either married, have children, or both. Their families have become the central part of their lives, while I am having less and less in common.

I have become more isolated and more cynical and bitter over time.

I still live at home, mainly because the economy is so bad and renting or owning is out of reach right now, especially because I am just starting a new job. But even if I did have the money, if I moved out, I would be all by myself. My parents are my rock right now, because without them I would lose myself.

People cheat. Sometimes people cheat on good people for almost no reason. Most people will bend the internal morality of their actions around their wants and desires. People will swear on their grandmothers grave they’d never sleep with somebody after meeting them once, and then shock themselves by sleeping with THAT person when they eventually encounter them.

Love is essentially transactional, not just monetarily but emotionally and physically. Sometimes people just don’t want to be with you any more. Looks are a MASSIVE part of attraction. Comfort kills attraction. Your partner is not yours, it’s just your turn.(MOST relationships will end sooner or later). Most people believe they’re more righteous and principled than they are. Morality has nothing to do with arousal. Both genders are struggling to find fulfilling partners because one side has grown weak and one side is now free to select for what they want which is the best of the best. Certain immutable traits are key. Most relationships after a couple of years are routine and not sexually fulfilling. People are nowhere near as unique in their behaviour as they think they are.

Is everyone out there trying to use, break hearts and cheat? NO. Most human beings are very much looking and trying consciously to attain and build the perfect, unconditional, long lasting loving relationship. That’s their conscious motive. But life is life and it truly hits people harder and at weirder angles than they could possibly have anticipated. Good sweet innocent people surprise themselves. The righteous fall. Most are not as strong or as selfless as they think. Those who believe they deserve the world can only actually attain very little. There is no such THING as deserve, there is, isn’t, won’t, will and can and can’t.

To simply DENY all this stuff is a product of either lack of exposure or choosing to deny. Which is fine.