You did exactly the right thing as long as you have not ended the friendship. This is why: no one likes to be punished for revealing her failures to a guy who is friend or last relationship. If you severed then she took it as rejection, you having no backbone, and "I am glad I found out the truth about him, now."
IF you guys still hang out and you check in fairly regular then you are positioned for: 6 months away from old guy... so that you can avoid being Rebound guy. This is where I reinvest emotionally and have that sort of discussion. "And, I have never stopped caring about you in a romantic way. I do not feel like the fallback guy or second choice now... I am ready if you are." SHE will never forget second choice comment so it is very important to get that out the way... plus Integrity come with that... man of his word in actions.
Most Helpful Opinions
Maybee if that's what feels right to you. There does exist the possibility that her relationship better calibrated her and what she needs leaving you at the top of the list. It's hard to appreciate anything without having a range of experiences to appreciate. If she was inexperienced and had no other relationships to put your relationship into perspective than I would find it hard to penalize her. If she had numerous relationships and bouncing around was normal for her then I would understand. I realize it's not easy to come to logical conclusions when emotions are involved so listen more to your gut vs what people's opinions from their perspective based on the little bit of information you have given
Yes, you did. You should not be a second option/choice when things don't go as planned with someone else. That's usually means you're rebound cause the person is feeling hurt or lonely and just want someone to comfort them. Once they have the comfort and feel better again, they're feelings towards you might change again. It's definitely best you stay friends.
I really think you made the best choice. I am the same way when it comes to things like this, because you are no ones second option or backup choice. But I have to ask also, do you feel good about your decision? Or conflicted?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
15Opinion
Yeah. Just don’t be hateful about it if she is cool. Maybe she was really into you again. But you have the choice and don’t have to say yes.
I would say. You made the right choice. If you don’t want to. Then that’s your decision. Wish you the best
Very nice. That is exactly what you do.
Yes, you did the right thing. You chose dignity and self respect in spite of the fact that she treated you as her plan B. Carrying yourself as a first rate man in the face of someone who treats you like you're second rate option is what a real men do. I commend you.
You should never accept the friendzone it always leads to this. Don't waste your time on women that doesn't want to commit to a relationship. You can use that time to find the right girl or improve your life.
You said you were friends for a year ‘and then she starts seeing someone else’.
But she didn’t. She wasn’t dating you. She was your friend and she met someone.It was the best choice for both of you. Obviously she has a reason (or reasons) for not being interested in you and again, as you said, you aren’t a second option
It’s best to stay friends or not friends at allyour in friendzone jail...
she didn't "suddenly decide" you did smething that made her look at you as a friend and nothing more.
dont be the donkey who is waiting for the carrot. cut her loose and move on.Men with standards are extremely sexy. Yes, women can tell if a man is weak for her and will use it for her benefit, don't let her feel or smell any kind of weakness.
I think yes. My mother made my father miserable g do or 51 years with her belief she had settled for him. She thought she could find an upgrade once, she might try again.
Also, I call my female friends “girlfriends without benefits.”Almost certainly you did. She imagines herself with someone who is not you, but she doesn't like being alone.
You made the right decision. You are a "safe" zone in her eyes, and as soon as another guy who catches her eyes comes by she'd leave again, and then come back when that did not work out.
You said you guys were friends after you guys dated for a 2 months. What was that friendship like? Do you guys text each other or perhaps go to lunch? Or just friendly with each other?
You made a great choice. I think it's a mistake to be friends for a year w/ a girl you have feelings for, but overall you stood up and showed respect for yourself when it mattered
Yes, exactly the right choice. Shows her that you have some self-respect.
You should do what you want to do in this situation
tell her buh bye, not worth your time. You deserve better.
yes. if you love someone and someone loves you you will do anything to be together. There is no right person wrong time. Because when you truly love someone you will do anything to help them.
Never go back. Hit it be friends with benefits but she will never respect you.
I try to live forward and not regress into the past.
Well done!
I'd even suggest ending the friendship, as she clearly doesn't respect the boundaries of it.
But follow your gut
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!