I’ve been seeing this guy since January. it was great at first and even tho I’ve been seeing people in between I still feel strong feelings for him. At first he told me he’s looking for the same thing as me, something serious. A few months later, he told me he still has a lot of baggage from his prior breakup and cannot do a relationship, but wants to be friends.
since then we have hung out a bit, and all times felt great. We never had sex, however he frequently caresses my face, plays with my hair, all things that I love very much and miss.
fast forward to this week, I asked him to come with me to my end of college dance thing. He came and it was great, despite him being on 8 hours of sleep over the past several days.
during the week I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety, from the lack of clarity on the relationship and growing emotions. We chatted, he reiterated that he doesn’t want a relationship because he feels very off mentally in life right now. But he still wants to be friends but this meaning “I’ll be there when you need me”, however currently “he doesn’t feel anything”. Which I just know is not true based on how he looks at me and treats me. I just said okay- that was the direct answer I was looking for and planned to end the call there.
But then he asked “what does this mean for you”, “what will you need to feel that there are connections”; even stating “we can still hook up but he doesn’t want to lead me on so has been avoiding that”, (when I asked why doesn’t he kiss me or anything anymore). even stating that “it bothers him how I never initiate sex”?
The call ended with me saying that I’ll need some more initiation in the friendship as well, and he will work on doing more when he hang out.
After thinking, I sent a vocal note saying let’s just cut off this friendship, because I fear it will be one sided, and addressed issues I felt such as him searching for his ex in me with comments that threw me off. Was this the right thing to do?
since then we have hung out a bit, and all times felt great. We never had sex, however he frequently caresses my face, plays with my hair, all things that I love very much and miss.
fast forward to this week, I asked him to come with me to my end of college dance thing. He came and it was great, despite him being on 8 hours of sleep over the past several days.
during the week I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety, from the lack of clarity on the relationship and growing emotions. We chatted, he reiterated that he doesn’t want a relationship because he feels very off mentally in life right now. But he still wants to be friends but this meaning “I’ll be there when you need me”, however currently “he doesn’t feel anything”. Which I just know is not true based on how he looks at me and treats me. I just said okay- that was the direct answer I was looking for and planned to end the call there.
But then he asked “what does this mean for you”, “what will you need to feel that there are connections”; even stating “we can still hook up but he doesn’t want to lead me on so has been avoiding that”, (when I asked why doesn’t he kiss me or anything anymore). even stating that “it bothers him how I never initiate sex”?
The call ended with me saying that I’ll need some more initiation in the friendship as well, and he will work on doing more when he hang out.
After thinking, I sent a vocal note saying let’s just cut off this friendship, because I fear it will be one sided, and addressed issues I felt such as him searching for his ex in me with comments that threw me off. Was this the right thing to do?
