Questions: Relationships

Most of my life, I've never thought i wanted kids cause I barely wanted friends. Looking at relationships I had, which isn't many, just 3.

All long term, but only 1 mentioned wanting kids. She did for a time, open me to it but infidelity on her part led to our relationship ending a little shy of a year.

Now as I try to pave a path forward for myself, I still have to juggle with the problem that male CF patients born in the late 1990s only live 40, maybe 45 years. And I'm 26 now, and way behind the curve to due bad decisions I've made in my life.

This combined with my status as being single makes children a laughable proposition. I can't imagine myself ever ready to handle responsibilities of being a parent. My longevity is a serious consideration as well as me being behind in life.

So I'm gonna lean towards best case scenario, I've got a wife with me when my time ends. And that is what I want most, a spouse. But what my last relationship proved is I'm somewhat amenable, if I love the woman. In that this children issue would not turn into some ultimatum.

I know better than to do something that moronic when the relationship is that special. I'd just have to allow our motivation for eachother to succeed to get me to where I feel ready to take that next step. Do you want kids?