My brother is divorcing, how do you feel about divorces?

Question

Well he’s active duty in the military and we recently just lost mom. He’s been married 13 years and feel like time is passing him by. His wife seems to only treat us nice when they are on good terms and bad when they are on bad terms. My brother got his dream job and things went left. The times he needed her, she blasted him on Facebook saying how he’s the worst husband ever. She even took off her wedding ring. She bashed our entire family to others. I was treated badly by her. She continuously threw parties and gatherings at his house against his wishes.

My brother doesn’t like a lot of people in his home anyhow. The home is in his name only but she treating us good now. he does investigations in the military and my brother feels like she’s playing with his career. she treats my brother as a toy on a string. She feels she can do what she wants whenever. She isn’t financially stabled without his income. She only works one 9 to 5 job but spends it on partying and gatherings. They have kids together as well but a daughter from a previous marriage. She is one of those wives that think she can be a wife whenever and treat you like crap at the same time. she thinks she has everyone under control while she treats you like crap. She treats our family according to how their marriage is going.

new-person · Accepted Answer

From what you have said, I think it is a good thing. Your brother and family do not need that kind of rocky road of treatment, playing games on how you are treated by how she feels her relationship is.

It dose sound like (not has, only sounds like) she has a mental condition. Not going to say what as I'm not here to diagnose her, only give my opinion. But I would 1. Talk to a Dr (your family Dr) your brother could ask her to go to couples counseling and the Dr that talks to them both can assess her. I only say this because of she dose have a mental condition she could do a lot of harm to your brother and your family, if she feel threatened. This is why you talk to a Dr and let him Gide your brother and family how to do it.

Be nice to hear as you plan the divorce, and DO NOT LET HER KNOW ABOUT IT!! For when to let her know and how to, talk to a professional lawyer and Dr both first.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

She sounds like my ex wife, a selfish wack job that only cares about herself , your brother did the right thing by divorcing her sorry ass.

DishLady · Answer

First, I'm sorry about your mom.

Next, if she was nasty with him before your mom passed on then this isn't a response to his grief (or your collective family grief). But if this has been going on the whole time then there's proper grounds for divorce -- save proof that she's removed the ring, that she's bashing and abusive, etc., this way she doesn't get 50% of anything he owns/earns (and anything from your mom's estate).

Normally I'd suggest that what happens between a husband and wife is between them. Bible says "a man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home..." Stay out of it. Just bc she doesn't get along with you and your family doesn't mean that your brother (who CHOSE her and declared eternal wedded love for her at some point) should leave her.

*HER SIGNS OF INFIDELITY however, are grounds for divorce without compensation.* Bro needs to lawyer up and get all his amo. I believe the military offers legal assistance for things like this. Something to look into so he doesn't end up owing some lawyer a shload.

ohsheeT · Answer

No one in this world needs to be treated like that He has to understand that is not love. If he stays around her one day something back is going to happen if he thinks one day she will love him again he wrong. And if he really believes that she's going to do that. He needs to move away.
And let her prove that to him , but not together , something's going to happen , and your brother won't have anybody to blame except for himself , because he stayed there   And you can't say she treats you bad. Her bad, everybody bad. The reason why she does that is because she's allowed around you. She's a bad person. Let her go tell your brother do the same thing. It's not worth it. You will be 10 times happier. On his own, and in time, find somebody else it treats him with respect, she's dirty. She's the ugly person on the inside. Let me tell you let her go. She's not worth it

AviatorTom · Answer

My then-wife and I amicably divorced after 20 years of marriage, including raising 3 kids. We split on good terms and still occasionally see each other at family events, and wish each other Happy Birthday on our birthdays.

Divorce in our case was good for both of us. Each of us is happily remarried. Me, 9 years and counting, Her, 7 years and counting.

Divorce is what the couple makes it. It may often be the best way to end a marriage, rather than try to continue with both people unhappy.

It is sad, though, when some couples turn it into a war, especially using their children as weapons.

melssvdv · Answer

The reason why modern women nowadays are useless deadbeats is because the mainstream media allows them to be and tell that they can do nothing wrong and that the world should improve itself for women instead of other way round. This is  FEMINISM .

Tiptoetamm · Answer

I mean divorce is around for a reason, unfortunately some people change after you get married they feel more comfortable to be their true self. At that point the other person aka partner will either adapt to it and learn to handle it or get divorced. Both of my parents have been married multiple times. They are both on their third marriage. I’ve never been legally married for that reason. It just seems no one takes relationships seriously anymore. They don’t take the vows seriously. There will be good times and bad times and a lot of people give up when life gets hard. Personally I would rather fight for the person I know I love and I know they love me than to just give up on them or us.

MontBlanc · Answer

I don’t see divorce as failure.

Sometimes it’s the most honest decision 2 people can make when growth no longer happens together.

Of course it’s painful especially for family but staying in something unhealthy just to preserve an image can be far more damaging in the long run.

What matters to me is whether both people handled it with maturity and respect.

Anastasia4real · Answer

Separation is best option then die every day, a disputed marriage life is like hell, when married life is disputed your job your business everything gone worse day by day, so without thinking again and agian go for divorce.. Best of luck sure God plan a better future..

Hagar88 · Answer

Your brother should consider taking a break from the military until the divorce and child custody, becoming the primary caregiver for the kids and earning less than his wife. That way when the divorce goes through she will have to pay him alimony and child support if he gets the majority of custody otherwise he will spend years funding her lifestyle

msc545 · Answer

That divorce, if it happens, it's going to save your brother's life and it's going to make your life a lot easier not having to deal with this woman. It sounds like she's really a cunt. Please excuse my language.

Nikki1989 · Answer

It is part of life for many people. People just need to deal with it.

Zack-Bann · Answer

Sounds like he’s been married for 13 years too many. A divorce as fast as possible is the best thing to happen to him. That kind of domestic drama never truly ends on its own

RavVid · Answer

Tell him to get a good lawyer and plan the divorce. He might as well lose the least possible. She is almost certain to be cheating especially in the bad periods when the ring comes off so a PI to catch her out would be good.

Anonymous · Answer

At what age did they marry. Because your brother and his wife sound like two people that married before they fully knew the other person. Because a lot of things you're saying about her would probably have been apparent with time.

It sounds like your brother and his wife are not the same type of people and divorce would probably benefit them both. Your brother can find a partner that fits him better and she can find a guy that fits her lifestyle.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Divorce is the inevitable end of marriage, don't get married

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Girl, you’re talking like she was your high school bully or something

Anonymous · Answer

I know someone EXACTLY like that except for throwing parties she talks shit about her family talks shit about his talks shit about him talks shit about their kids behind everyone's back then plays the victim act when she gets called out on it she goes so far as to throw herself in the middle of children's childhood drama just so she can be the center of attention

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

The best way to prevent a divorce is to never get married in the first place.

jamesgoldman · Answer

I love divorce It makes me money

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Very sad, but a good reason to stay single.

Jeff51 · Answer

Part of life.

Light_beam · Answer

I feel good.. thank you for asking

Staximus · Answer

Good for him

My brother is divorcing, how do you feel about divorces?

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