Polls: Relationships

Would you prefer if someone you are seeing ghosts you all of a sudden stops picking calls and answering messages or be told the truth that he/she isn't interested in you at all and even tell the reason for not being interested?

I have been married to my wife for 3 years. Before we moved in after we got married, I helped her pay off her debt to zero. We moved in and for that first year of living together we struggled a bit financially but were very happy with our relationship. She earned more than I did so I struggled hard to match our expenses 50/50. All my money that year went on essentials because that was all I could afford.

A year and a half passed since we moved in together and we are now in July. I now earn more than her and we are at a good financial path. She has the habit of not sharing her finances even though I tried my best to establish open healthy communication. I would often find myself having to ask her repeatedly about it. On that same month of July I told her to spill the beans... How much does she really owe in credit debt. She said 17k on one card and 6k on the other. A little blown back from that response I ask her to please not use her cards anymore and we can focus on it together. The plan was to save as much as we can for 6 months and then pay it off in large chunks in the thousands. After that day I almost never saw her pull out any credit cards.

Fast forward to last night. We had our first argument ever. It was a healthy argument, and we had a lot of respect and love in the argument. The arument started when I realized that her father was giving her a 1000-dollar allowance to help pay off her cards. Which I wasn't aware of and personally against my morals and she knows that. Her parents work so hard for that money. I love the support they give to her but why? Then I asked her why. 8 minutes of deflecting and trying to understand she reveals he owes 25k on one card. JUST ONE. My jaw dropped. I was trying to figure out how she spent 7k on her card in 6 months on top of what she had on her checking account. She spent in total of 16k in six months on the information I have alone based on the one card and the checking account.

I really need some help with this.

It's not like you expect your relationship with the current boyfriend to fail or something. But I mean you secretly keep in your mind 1-2 guys as "backup" in case your boyfriend leaves you or the relationship doesn't go anywhere. Maybe these guys are your exes or someone who you rejected (just because you have a boyfriend) but still has some feelings for you. Could be close friends.

You don't cheat. You just secretly target them in your mind and see them as a potential lover. This is a kind of self protection. Maybe you treat them a bit nicer than other guys. Then if you break up, you open up to them if they're available and still interested (and not jump right to them).

Also do you think it's right to do so?