Do you think a wife and kids was NOT in God's plan for me?

[LonelyAndBig]

I am visiting my family for the Christmas holiday. I have a cousin who is younger than me and has 3 kids and is married. Her eldest child I believe is already in Kindergarten!

I am 28 years old and I believe I am still relatively young. Although, seeing most of my former friends and those my age with kids that are growing, it makes me feel incredibly old!

I can understand maybe not having kids right now, but sadly, I have never even been in a real relationship. I never had my first real girlfriend! I seek a woman without a romantic past where we can be each other's first real relationship. I seek a woman that has never had her first love. I may never find that and may grow to be that lonely old man that I fear to become.

Yes

No

See result

[virtue2332]

I understand the concern. Your cousin is probably on here asking if she rushed into everything. She sees you and thinks man he can do anything he wants. He can go to a concert without having guilt or worry. He gets to go to work and not have to worry about daycare. Shit he gets to sleep through the night. You have to not compare yourself to anyone or their timelines. Have fun be confident in where you are in life and try to live in the moment actually enjoying experiences instead of analyzing everything so much. Every experience calibrates us and allows us to appreciate what we have if we don't focus on what we do not have. Your story is being written as we speak and sure your expectations for a particular partner increasing the odd that you may end up alone, but this is something you have to come to terms with. If anything, you expect from a partner are rooted in insecurities it may be time to asses them. like Why a romantic past would bother you? Sounds insecure. Never had her first love? Why must you be her first? My wife is my 3rd love and its lasted 20 years in may 3 kids

[Summeroflove]

I don’t know Gods will for you. But maybe it’s just not the right time. It’s better to find the right person then settle for the wrong.

[whirled_up_girl]

I think I was supposed to click no sorry, I guess the question confused me. I think you could find a girlfriend/wife etc. and children may be in the future but you have have to lower you standards by finding someone with a romantic past. I know that's not what you want to hear, but that seems like an impossible goal to meet in this day and age. I guess for your sake I would hope that you wouldn't pass up an opportunity to be with a nice woman just because she had a romantic past. Life is too uncertain some people lose their first love to illness, accidents, war or other harsh situations that life deals out. So if you met a nice woman with a romatic past, it could be god putting her in your path?

[LonelyAndBig]

You really don't think I can find a woman 18+ that has never had her first love?

[whirled_up_girl]

I'm not saying it's impossible but if you really want to find a woman to settle down with I don't see what's wrong with finding a woman who was unlucky with their first love or perhaps lost them tragically and is looking for a fresh start.

[Aerissa_Jade]

When you say this "I seek a woman without a romantic past where we can be each other's first real relationship. I seek a woman that has never had her first love."

I'd say that is your plan, not gods plan. God wouldn't put such restrictions on a relationship... what if he had someone in mind for you, but she had a relationship in the past? Now you won't even consider someone he has planned for you.

You need to follow gods will, not your own and that is clearly your own.

You can ask him for someone but you can't be picky on what you want, as he doesn't answer prayers that way.

[LonelyAndBig]

This is something I have evaluated for years, and I have recognized reasons that many people have not been able to see. I seek to experience my first relationship with a woman that is doing the same. Is that not a fair request?

[Aerissa_Jade]

It is irrelevant, as it is a request... what if her only relationship was a 3 week thing in high school or college? She still has a lot to learn and grow and a lot to offer.

My first relationship was only 6 weeks and I didn't think I knew squat when it ended, still felt new and clueless.

At the same time, each relationship is unique, a new one is nothing like the last one.

Best of luck to you though, hope you find what your looking for.

[LonelyAndBig]

They say first loves are special and a lot of people have a special place in their hearts for their first love, whether they want to or not.

[Anonymous]

I was 27 and single with no girlfriend and no prospects and thought the same thing. I got married only a year after meeting my wife and we have four children now. The only effect getting married later had was having friends with kids our age who are much younger than us in their 20s.

[standardguy]

I dont can say that God has no woman for you but if you want to have as first girlfriend a woman who had no romantic relationship vbefore you need to search a minor...

[LonelyAndBig]

You really don't think I can find a young woman 18+ that has never had her first love?

[standardguy]

If she is 18+ and never felt in love successfully she must be in any way odd. Fat or ugly or disabled.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, God has a plan for all of us, and sometimes he does what he feels what's best for us.

[Guy13]

Ask your Pastor...

[LonelyAndBig]

I talked to an elder at my church, and he stated that God never guaranteed me a wife, and that there is a possibility I could be alone for life. I was heartbroken to hear that.

[Guy13]

That is accurate but chase the lord, request forgiveness, and pray.

[Anonymous]

There's time yet