Polls: Relationships

So there's this guy that I've been talking to and when we met he called me beautiful, told me he loves me etc and even said his mother would love me 😭I made plans with him tomorrow and was planning to go until I saw he followed a girl on instagram that is in a college group chat with us. He even follows her on SPOTIFY?

He doesn't even follow me on spotify 💀 I want to ask him about it but I don't want to look insane. Does him following a new girl mean he doesn't take interest in me anymore🥲

He even gave me a book and wrote me a

poem on it.

Hi! I want to start off with a little background, my friend ( let’s call him K ) and i have known each other since we were kids (10+ years) and are very close. I met his wife ( let’s call her F ) on their wedding day and since have become pretty good friends with her as well i’d say. Him and his wife have been married for just about 1y and a half, and have been together for almost 2y. Now this might be a little hard to keep up with so bare with me please, my issue is that my mother is good friends with F’s ex coworker and saw they were hiring but when I told my mother I was reluctant to work there because of things F had told me, F’s ex coworker told my mother that F left there due to drama she had caused because her coworkers knew she was married yet she had been sleeping with one of the cooks, along with other personal things. I was completely shocked to hear this because i didn’t think F would do something like this. On the other hand, F and I have never hung out without K present, sure we text every so often but I really don’t know much about her besides what I’ve seen when she’s with K. So i’ve been sitting here, extremely conflicted, because i don’t know whether to tell K or not. I don’t have really any solid evidence so even if I do say anything would he believe me? I would really appreciate any kind of advice.

No back story here. I’m just curious how often this happens. I’m shocked it happens at all but I know it does.

Peoples feelings belong to them. We can’t control them. I do not understand why anyone feels they have jurisdiction over another feelings. I mean leave if you want to be a coward about it but why the anger.

Obviously if you feel they are lying to you playing games etc ok but then the her is not at the word but the action behind the words.

I think angry at non offensive words alone must mean we are triggered by our own issues and projecting that onto another person— totally misplaced. I wonder how often this becomes clear to the angered.

I ask this question because I noticed often times when someone’s trying to solve a conflict where a Partner is let with them, they are more so trying to extricate themselves from an uncomfortable situation of somebody being angry with them.

🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s similar to “just give me the answer” on a maths problem, rather than understanding how you arrived at the answer. Which is always going to be tempting for people at one point or another. But this doesn’t solve the problem long-term because if you don’t know what’s going on and you don’t know what causes you don’t know how to keep it from happening again, if that’s not possible sometimes conflicts come up repeatedly.

🫤 I tend NOT to see much trying to _understand_ what is happening with the other person.. what is really making them upset.

I’m sure you have seen solutions for getting out do the 🐶 🏡 that have nothing to do with learning anything, rather ways to hopefully placate the other party.. gifts treats surprises favors etc. Thats stuff is absolutely bonkers to me. Here you have a solid learning opportunity that can help everyone long term and you try to buy it off. 🤯

Or the lazy generic “how do you get a woman to forgive you” “ how do you get a man to not be angry” nothing about what that actual person is experiencing and what brought out the maybe overly dramatic reaction in that moment.

I think many people would even be _annoyed_ if they were upset and someone started asking “what are you going through? What’s happening with you, what even caused this?”

🧐 I find it very _interesting_ when someone’s really upset. I tend to not get defensive because I’m more interested in understanding what’s going on over having a fight… I mean, unless of course I’m being accused of something absolutely ridiculous that has nothing to do with me- that is annoying af 🤨 but otherwise I’m more into taking an observing position.. I have observed this can be irritating to people who are very angry, however not my intent. 👀

This somehow seems worse than cheating with a acutal person 😆

I want to say no, I think they mean it as in just rolling with it & to not expect much so you’re not disappointed. I do think it can depend on the context & the person you’re dealing with, you can gauge if it’s coming from a trusted source or if the person is straight up negative. For example like if you’re interviewing at a job, going on a 1st date etc; these are situations you only have *so* much control over & can go very bad or good as we know.