Religion & Spirituality

My Testimony as a child of Yahweh, the one true and living God, and follower of Yeshuah, the resurrected Savior. *Disclaimer: lengthy*

BACKGROUND: My name is Alexander Alfons Peter Brunnrgaard, son of Peter and Analeigh, brother of Alexandra (older) and Beatrice (younger). I was born in 1996, on the 5th of July. Growing up, I had everything I wanted, doting parents, toys, friends, a vivid imagination, you name it. My father, Peter, was a singer of local renown, an entrepreneur and a beloved man by his community, my mother, a beautiful and kind but sternly disciplined woman with a heart for teaching. When I was four years old however, my father died. He contracted a heart disease, and for a reason that shall never be known he kept it secret until it was too late.

My older sister, Alexandra, who idolized our father, handled his passing poorly. More so then us, and moved out to live with our grandfather until she reached adult age. I grew up with my mother and younger sister. In school I was popular, vivacious, had good grades, but was quite arrogant and cocky as well. Could be a bit of a bully at times, and mischievous along with my friends.

FAITH ACCRUES: My mother has always been a devoted follower of Jesus, and whilst I wasn't always, I always believed in a God. it was never logical to me that this world, in its intricacy and beauty came to be by random. Accidents do not engender harmony. I was baptized early, and while this wasn't a moment that turned me to a true believer, everything changed when I arose from the water, I saw things more clearly, and I died to the world, and was reborn into God's family, His DNA now in me, that is the spiritual happening of being baptized.

But up until my early teens I lived in the world, and enjoyed doing so. Still I always saw God's hand in my life, providing for me; I was never financially short, I always had what I needed when I needed it, sometimes from nowhere, inexplicably. He protected me; looking back I recall many foolish instances where I could've lost a limb, or my very life, but I was swayed not to, or once again seemingly without knowing how, saved from it.

My life wasn't however, a walk on roses. Maybe it was residual effects from losing my father, I do not know why, but I had severe anger issues. When coming up towards the age of 10, I could get random and unprovoked tantrums, having to lock myself in my room to spare my family while I tossed about and screamed. I would eventually slump down and cry out of exhaustion and confusion as to why I was so angry. I couldn't control myself. My anger felt like a massive wall of my mind, impenetrable no matter how hard I struck at it and fought back. I imagined it would be with me all my life, no use in trying. It was who I was.

GYMNASIUM YEARS: When reaching my teenage years, I commenced Gymnasium in 2012, at the age of 16. Gymnasium is our equivalent of high school and lasts three years within the chosen program. Mine was the aesthetic program in music, originally I was meant for social studies, but a sudden inclination when applying made me do music, I did love singing and had inherited my father's voice, though less so his skill. During these years two significant things occurred; Meeting my first girlfriend, and meeting my first atheist friends.

I had never had contact with non-believers prior. My community of Christians was quite closed, almost sectarian (not how we are meant to live as Christians). And so I met with a group of friends whom I to this day still remember partly fondly. One was a metalhead, but man did we have fun together, the laughs we shared echoed throughout the school. These people presented me with a new world; a world that was enticing, the world of sin away from God. The more I spent time with them however, the more I started to loose myself, my grades deteriorated, my speech degraded to almost start swearing, I thought in more cynical, hostile and foul ways about everything. But, certain things I did not compromise with: I did not tolerate mockery of the faith, and I did not drink, and for the most part I was respected for it.

Coming from a good background so to speak, from a Christian private school, meeting my new class of many less than academically gifted young atheist people, I developed an elitist attitude. My faith became my superiority, I looked down on my classmates for being atheist, for being class-skippers, F-receivers, stoners etc.

I also met Maria. An artistic, deep-hearted girl whom I spent time with as part of the same group of friends. Time turned to flirting, flirting turned to a relationship. It was my first time being in one, romantic interests had preceded her, but nothing official. Another new world opened up to me, love, and sex. While it must be stated I am still a virgin, I came close to having sex with her, but my conscience from my upbringing wouldn't allow it. I knew it to be wrong. Our relationship was on and off, and toxic, we brought out the worst in each other. We often did not understand each other, she came from a dysfunctional family and I often criticized her relationship with her parents we had arguments, ended things, though on two separate occasions she came back to me, or engaged with other guys, less attractive guys, to stoke my jealousy, but instead of jealousy, she ignited a petty fury and I retaliated with ignoring her, speaking ill of her, and other foolish things. Yet I felt like I truly loved her at the end of each fight, and in my naivete I imagined I would marry her. She soon became embroiled in Wiccan arts, and our arguments on this subject were, impassioned.

Throughout this time I did not feel well mentally and spiritually. I did not recognize myself, and the world I initially was curious about displayed more and more darkness and emptiness. I saw my friends' being in truth, depressed and miserable despite claiming to have so much fun drinking, sleeping around, gambling etc. My relationship with my mother deteriorated over this and I was more frequently angry.

I was faced with a crossroad. Abandon God, or return to Him. He had to strike fear into me, a spiritual slap in the face if you will, to make me awaken and realize the danger. Come the end of the third and last year, I broke off with it all, I chose God, I told Him to show me the better way, I would give him the chance to properly display the light and the truth in my life. My metalhead friend made an abhorrent joke on Easter regarding Jesus' crucifixion, for which I put my foot down and estranged him. I made a mature closure with my ex during our prom, she wasn't my date of course. And I set my sights on returning to Christ, and for this time, really believe.

Ever since then; when I truly gave myself to Christ and begged forgiveness for my false ways, my pretense of faith, and my abandonment of his ways, my life has been going ever upwards. Jesus made me realize that I had looked down on my fellow man for their lack of faith while my own was shining with its absence, reminding me of the verse on the pots who are polished on the outside, but filthy on the outside, a critique Jesus aimed at the religious scholars who only acted pious for show and recognition.

Over time He even cured me of my anger issues, I could scarcely believe when my restrain suddenly weathered even the fiercest of provocations, I was *free*, no more random tantrums, no outbursts, no pain, I gave it all to God. I was happier, kinder and more gentle than ever. He healed my relationship with my mother through circumstances that neither I nor any other human being could have brought about.

He granted me peace that surpassed all understanding, (Philippians 4:7) no matter what was going on around me, I was at peace and had full confidence in the Lord, and never once did He let me fall. He gave me back my Christian friends who reignited my old and cheerful self, and gave me new, even more passionately burning Christian friends who healed my wounds and gave me true friendship.

True freedom from anger, from worry, from the burden of wordily prestige, performance and status, from needing to be superior or better, all this Jesus introduced in my life.

Countless times, what I prayed to the Father for, He answered me with either yes, granting me that thing, a no, I have something better for you, or a not yet. He carried me through difficult situations and mishaps, many a time supernaturally, other times through other people.

The most recent example of His grace, (grace: undeserved favor), and blessing in my life is that He led our family to be granted residence in a beautiful country manor when leaving our original town, a home ten times better than previously, just as we had told ourselves to not expect to live as nicely as we had. We had prayed over it, and the Lord had directed us to seek a home in this new town, and then we heard of a Christian man who recently bought the manor and its lands, and was splitting it in two, to allow another family to live in the east wing, where we now live.

Currently, Jesus has taught me forgiveness, I could be very unforgiving and black and white when younger, but those who have known me were shocked to hear what I now could forgive and let go off, and how I could look upon others with love. I am still who God made me, principled, deeply concerned with justice, right and wrong and the truth. But Satan meant to twist these attributes to make me a hard, unforgiving, cynical and ruthless man, but God had always meant for them to be pure and good qualities. Today I can be who I am in a mature and aware way, aware to not fall to the traps of the enemy who ever seeks whom he can devour like a roaring lion, (1 Peter, 5:8).

God is real, the Bible is real, Jesus Christ is real, and He saves. He loves us all as His brothers and sisters belonging to the Father. And He stands always ready to forgive and embrace you if you come to Him. All believers live with an unshakable hope of the coming world, the new earth and new heaven, and Zion, the city of God, greater than anything mankind will ever lay eyes on at the end of ages. No one, no matter who you are, where you come from, what you have done, is turned away when you come with an honest heart before Christ. With Jesus I have a purpose, an identity and a hope, every day, for my entire life, a life that is eternal with Him.

The peace of God be with you all.

My Testimony as a child of Yahweh, the one true and living God, and follower of Yeshuah, the resurrected Savior. *Disclaimer: lengthy*
He sacrificed himself for our sins, that we may not perish but have eternal life. Such is the love of the Father for His children who lost their way.
My Testimony as a child of Yahweh, the one true and living God, and follower of Yeshuah, the resurrected Savior. *Disclaimer: lengthy*
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