How do I forgive my rapist and pray for him?

[Anonymous]

[BCRanger10]

I am very sorry this happened to you. This will be long, so please be patient.

First things first though. I greatly applaud and commend you for your willingness to take these steps.

The first thing I'd recommend doing is actually the second thing you mentioned, which is pray for him. Pray for him, his conversion, and that he repents of his crime against you. All the while, if necessary, seek counseling and therapy. And of great importance, seek civil justice.

As for forgiveness? Well, honestly, there's only one thing that you can do. And that is to make the choice to forgive. I wish it were more complicated than that, but it's not. Now I can't and won't act as though I empathize with you because, well, I can't empathize. Not on this. I do understand not feeling ready, or even able to make that decision. But one thing that I have learned and had to square with over the years is that forgiveness is quite simply that. A decision.

I'll stop there on forgiveness, as I fear I may tread into places where I ought not to; I am neither a spiritual advisor, nor a priest, nor a therapist. I'm just a man on the internet.

I don't know what religious tradition you belong to, but as a Catholic, I will encourage you to read about the short life of one Saint Maria Goretti (1890-1902); she is one of the patron saints of victims of sexual abuse. She was an 11-year-old Italian girl who was the victim of an attempted rape and was martyred while defending her virginity. On her deathbed, she forgave her assailant, who later reported seeing many visions of her professing her forgiveness to him, which later inspired his own repentance and conversion.

Another is Saint Agnes of Rome (291-304), also a patron saint of victims of sexual abuse.

In the meantime, please be assured of my prayers for you as you engage this situation. May God richly and generously bless and reward you, and grant you His peace and healing.

[jshm2]

You don't.

You seek retribution through law and, revenge if not.

You only forgive and move on if there mere mitigating circumstances.

[Adam1978]

Why would you waste your time on that? He doesn't deserve a thought from your end.

[MrJMM]

BITCH NO! You don't do that kind of stupid shit. Rapists don't deserve forgiveness.

[JustinTheGreat]

You don’t lol

[Agape93]

Why do either?

[ChrisMike1919]

You don't.