Is it right for parents to force religion on their adult child?

Question

I’m 21, employed and getting my degree next year. My expenses also go towards my uni so it’s going to take time to move out officially but still saving up. Im living with my parents for the summer. My mom snooped in my room and found a pride flag. Ever since then, she’s been taking me to church and does everything in her power to break up me and my girlfriend (which worked). She’s been crying, threatening, and making me feel guilty for not believing what she does. I feel too miserable to move on with life.

by the way I am open to learning about religion, but the more she forces me the more I want to run away from it..

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Move out.
I am living in a dilapidated trailer that has a ceiling that has reached sponge like levels of waterlogged. I have no running water and have to spend a decent amount of my money on bottled water just to survive I also have no oven or stove so I have to live purely off of microwavable’s This has had effects on my liver which the doctors have confirmed this.

Despite the hazards of the place that I live in now I am happier in here than I was with my overbearing mother. I am quite possibly dying and I have reached the point where I’m not even going to go to the doctor to find out if/when I might die. I showed signs of leukemia in my bone marrow and I’m still not gonna go to the doctor because I don’t want my insurance to raise up and I also don’t want to have to move out the place that I live in now because that will just me and I’ll have to rely on somebody again.

For all that I’m going through now and I am going through a lot this is far from the worst time in my life actFor all that I’m going through now and I am going through a lot this is far from the worst time in my life actually this Almost felt like heaven at first because my mother was just at horrible. I know I can’t speak for all people for very obvious reasons but for myself I value freedom above all else. I am literally risking death every day just so that way I no longer have to go back to living under someone else’s roof or having to abide by someone else’s rules.

Anyways you do you I’m sure our priorities are vastly different And that’s fine But if you don’t want your mother to make you suffer you’re going to have to fight back one way or another whether it’s by pretending that you’re playing her game or by moving out and giving her the finger one way or another you’re gonna have to change something.

jshm2 · Accepted Answer

You can't "force religion" any more than you can "force dreams".

What you mean is your family is forcing their opinions, values, traditions etc onto you.

They feed you and care for you still. But you're too much of an entitled brat to not wait until you're living and paying your own life to start with that pride shit?

You should feel shame for yourself, more than they do for you. When out yourself you do you. But when it's others doing for you, you shut the fuck up and keep things under wraps.

IveGotNoName · Accepted Answer

If you live at their place and you are dependant on them, then yes, they can do whatever they want. Is it right? No. But you don't actually get a say, before you aren't relying on them. I moved out two years ago because my parents were forcing their religion on me, and it was the only way that it would stop. And it still hasn't btw😂.

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

You’re a grown adult. Make your own choices or move out. But you live under their roof, so you still have to respect them and love them but you need to be open with your parents of your choices in life but it won’t make you love them less… They’re still and always will be your family

Anonymous · Answer

When you are 100% independent you can do whatever you want. But unfortunately you are not. You are in a grey zone being in college but you are still living under your parents roof. It is their house and they can make up the rules how they please.

I distinctly recall being in this situation many years ago. It’s not fun. In fact it sucks but it’s temporary.

However you have three options:

#1 either move out and do as you please.

#2 Or offer to pay your parents rent money to establish that you are a tenant vs a dependent.

#3 go along with your parents rules as long as it takes.

RedThread · Answer

You're an adult. You have to make adult decisions for yourself. If your mom was instrumental in tearing apart a happy, loving relationship then that tells you everything you need to know about the toxicity in your relationship with your mother. Some parents can be misguided in their love towards their children. They feel like they're doing the right thing when in reality they're pushing their children away and making them miserable. If talking doesn't work then you're going to have to keep a healthy distance between you two. You don't have to stop loving each other but you need to set boundaries to maintain a relationship.

If you have the means I'd suggest finding a roommate and your own place to stay. Ultimately, it's your decision but in my experience, you can spend your whole life trying to make your parents happy or you can spend your whole life trying to make you happy. Sometimes you can manage both but other times you have to choose.

BeMuse · Answer

It's natural for a mother to care about her children. She stands with God, and wants good for you. You stand with the cannibals... Pick a team.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

No there is zero way that is right or even close to being okay to do.

it’s wrong on so many levels.

It’s wrong if it’s a child, an adult, a relation or anyone else.

Just be really firm and explain in simple terms, if she keeps it up. When. You leave for Uni and you close the front door, you will not be walking back in again.

Lionman95 · Answer

Generally speaking no because it´s actually not working and it shouldn´t be like that because Christianity can´t be forced on you.

Have you every tried to have a calm conversation with your mum? Because if you´re actually open to I´d see a chance that she might stop. Maybe it would also helpful to bring in a female third party. I think it´s not a good idea to ask a male pastor but rather another woman to mediate between the two of you.

mstbooblover · Answer

Religion is and should stay a purely personal concern. No one, not even parents or friends, should inflict or force any form of religious belief on their adult child or on any other person. Forcing religion on people is the best way to create wars, which is as far as I understand not what they were created for ;0)

Djaay · Answer

Even GOD says stay away from religion. Always run from mankind's traditional values and commands. They're not of GOD but from sinning people themselves. Also be careful of the temptation of the tree of knowledge. That's NOT of GODS commanded commandments. Wisdom from the Holy Spirit is the only right knowledge. Before you dismiss or doubt my words take a second thought first.

Beardedman1996 · Answer

Hell no, no one should be forced to follow a religion nor forced to follow the guidelines of other peoples religion, If some one marched into my house demanding I throw out all my meat and bacon saying because it’s against their religion I would laugh it off but if they pushed it, they would be either forced of my property by police, themselves or emts after being peppered with 12 gauge birdshot

Càitjet · Answer

I'd be a huge contradiction to my kids if I did. In no way is this right what your mum is doing. If you can move out then that's your best option or seek some help/advise from another family member or friend you can trust.

Sour-rose · Answer

Usually no, buuuut they probably think it's the way they want their child to go. All the way to death because they feel that it's THEIR right way. :)... and nothing can change that

Anonymous · Answer

It really sucks. Take it from me, you just need to play their game for now, and then once you’re able to support yourself, get the fuck away.

It doesn’t matter if they are your parents or anything, they seem to be pretty bad for your mental health.

Anonymous · Answer

"Force"... lol. It's funny how you people pick words you like... FORCE cause that sounds mean lol... I dunno, is it right for parents to "force" children to brush their teeth, or to "force" them to go to school so they get an education? Yes, it is right.

slatyb · Answer

Right? No, but if you are living with them they can impose almost any condition on your continued residence. Your mother is abusive. It’s way past time for you to move out. Can you get a student loan?

FootfetishistBoy · Answer

It is not right, cause if you aren't choosing The religion yourself, then it doesn't count. On the other hand they could try to convince you to choose religion with wise words and stuff, but in the end its your choice

Subarugirl · Answer

Their house their rules, if you don't like it find a roommate and move out. You aren't forced to live their so they can implement any rules in their house they want... its not a matter of right and wrong.

sheikalana · Answer

it’s never right. especially as an adult. every child should have the right to choose their path in life. I think that’s very toxic and I would want to distance myself from them.

art84 · Answer

You should move out if you don't want religion forced upon yourself in your parents house. I know my mom forced my brother to go to church when he lived with her. He moved out years ago as he didn't want to be told what to do.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

It's not right no matter the age of the child.

ElementoP · Answer

How can they force anything on you if you don't rely on them for anything? Or maybe you do, in which case there's your problem

Guy13 · Answer

What would you like to know about Christianity and church?

EnglishEuropean · Answer

You shouldn't tolerate that for a second. You certainly need to move out as soon as possible but like you say you're an adult now. You should only go to church if YOU want to.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

You are in their house for the summer so guess that’s it for now. Added motivation to move out. What are you learning about God?

Agent_Elflord · Answer

Respect your pare- nah, I’m just fuckin’ with ya. No, it’s not right.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

Wow thats toxic, get out there. Thats manipulative

Luopio27 · Answer

Its not right for anyone to force anyone into any religion.

monkeynutts · Answer

It's wrong to force it on children. It's why I don't believe in baptism.

h3ll02u · Answer

I think religion should not be on birth certificate

maximumpower · Answer

You're 21 and still at home? That could be a major part of the problem.

Anonymous · Answer

Jesus Christ Never Lies

Lyndsielee666 · Answer

It’s not right no matter what age you are.

Agape93 · Answer

No it is NEVER ok to force your religion on anyone

Spotifyplaylist · Answer

Absolutely not...

KatherineJ · Answer

Her home, her rules I’m afraid.

Rangers · Answer

Forcing it, of course not

Anonymous · Answer

Of course not.

darkcloud1945 · Answer

Move on it is only going to get worse

888theGreat · Answer

no, you do that when he is 5

call_me_scar · Answer

Your mom's a cunt

PrettypleaseDY · Answer

It's never ok

Is it right for parents to force religion on their adult child?

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Should parents be forbidden to push religion on their own children?