Why did my son grow up to me so prudish and hateful?

[Anonymous]

we raised our kids Christian and took them to church. But never taught them to be like that. We mostly went to church for the kids.

Then when my son found out about my life before I had him. He hardly ever speaks to me anymore and is hateful towards LGBT and people of other religions

[NotTacocaT6969]

…. Have…. have you never paid attention in church or read any of the versions of the christian bible?


You essentially turned your kid into a cultist by allowing them to take scriptures too seriously.


This will end one of three ways.


1.) you change nothing and your kid stays a hateful cultist forever.


2.) you change nothing, your kid eventually snaps out of it on their own and spends the rest of their life resenting you for allowing that brainwashing to take hold of them.


3.) you parent-up enough courage to start having talks about not taking ancient texts so seriously and the behavior improves over time.


In 29 years on this planet, I’ve only ever seen options 1 and 2 unfold…. option 2 has been the most common by far.


I made option 3 up, but it’s the only stable middle-ground I can see between full-blown cultist/extremist and atheist.

[petitedollbabee]

If you raised him to be Christian and made him go to church, ofcourse he’s going to be hateful towards LGBT+ people and people of other religions. 99% of the “Christians” I’ve met have had that attitude. It’s rare to find a Christian person that is non judgmental or hateful.


I don’t know what kind of life you told him you had before him, so I can’t comment on why he no longer talks to you.

[Asker]

Good to see a Christian sister like you who isn’t judgmental

[Asker]

Basically I used to run around with a lot of girls. I used to smoke weed and drink. But I wanted to raise my kids not to be like that.

But once they found out they were hateful to me about it. Later in life when I told them

[petitedollbabee]

If they’ve been raised to have negative views on people who have sex outside of marriage, and use drugs and alcohol, then you’ve brought it on yourself that they are hateful towards you for living that lifestyle in the past.

[Daniela1982]

So finding out that their dad is a hypocrite is not cause for being a little ticked at him?

[Asker]

The fact is that I’m not like this anymore. But I never told them about it until later on.

[Daniela1982]

Well, you are a good example of how God can change someone.

[Asker]

@Daniela1982 thanks

[Guy13]

When someone speaks of this as related to a child, I wonder if he understands the love of God. He sounds like a strict interpretation being influenced by a strict Pastor and overseer. How about go to www.biblestudytools.com and type attributes of God in Search. You do the study and involve him.

He does not know God and if one does not know and understand His nature then one never has a chance to emulate God. In his mind, he is carrying out the scripture and has never understood Love, Goodness, Mercy, Grace... Good luck with him.

[tfan1]

Sounds like lack of discipline. Did you spank him when he was little and was bad - temper tantrums, talking back to people, not listening to what you told him what to do, etc?

[Daniela1982]

What exactly was your life before him? We can't answer effectively without a back story.

[Asker]

See opinion above and comments

[Daniela1982]

There is no opinion above mine. Mine is the first answer on the thread.

[petitedollbabee]

He was meaning my opinion. It was posted an hour before yours.

[Asker]

@petitedollbabee yes

[Zbrody1997]

Maybe it’s no longer their own belief and they feel lied to most who discover another religion or lack of feel lied to by their parents, religion is for an individual to decide and if it disagrees with their morals than all you can do is accept it and support them, do that and you can rebuild your bond but force them on your spiritual path and you might as well commit relationship suicide.

[MountAverage]

Why did your son grow up to be prudish and hateful towards LGBT after being raised in a religion that's prudish and hateful towards LGBT? That's a tough question!

[XHopelessRomanticX]

You’re son missed the point. And I’m afraid whoever taught him missed the point too.

[jshm2]

He isn't.

He's just going through a teenage phase, is all.