Why does God want me to be lonely?

[Anonymous]

I am romantically LONELY 😞, but my brother is not, because God gave him a special talent that helped him get a girlfriend, but gave me no talent that has helped me get a boyfriend. If God did that for my brother, then unlike him, why does God want me to be lonely 😩?

[lightbulb27]

Let's not go blaming God. We are all instilled with gifts. The rest... is training, skills. God didn't know how to fly an airplane, but people figured that out, possibly inspired by God and God's creation.

So let God within you, enlighten you to learn, be your best self, confidence, dating skills... learn. Take some risks and eventually you'll find someone. It may be harder, but it is for some more than others.

A lot of it is personality traits and early life experiences that influence outcomes. You own repair work, training, and growth... and success!

[behnam1999]

What talent does your brother have that makes him have a girlfriend? 🤔

[Asker]

@behnam1999

So when I complained to my parents about how my brother has a partner and I don’t, their response, summed up, was that “You have to have something to offer!” But in my 20s, I didn’t have “anything to offer” as a potential girlfriend, because I was so busy being obsessively stuck on the fact that I messed up on my career choice, causing me to be always sitting around at home not doing anything, and not even functioning like an adult (because I was obsessively “stuck”). But that didn’t happen to my brother because choosing a career path was so “automatic” for him because he has a special talent for “opera” singing, so naturally he chose to go to college for that and do that for a living.

[behnam1999]

Everybody has something that they are interested in the most. See what you like to do, see what interests you the most and go for it. Do not think about how much money you can make out of it, just pursue your goals. The most important thing is determination and committment

However, it is not a good reason to like someone merely because they are a good opera singer!!

[Asker]

No his girlfriend doesn’t “like him merely because he is a good opera singer”. This is about the CAREER thing that I explained. It’s not actually that his singing talent ATTRACTED her to him.

[behnam1999]

Stop thinking like that, and start doing what you are interested in, and never let anything disappoint you.

[GubGubo]

Attributing your loneliness to something outside your control, no matter how true it may be, is not going to help you find someone, you’ll only feel hopeless. The best thing you can do is adopt the responsibility of finding someone. It will help you stay motivated and eventually succeed.

[Asker]

But it came MUCH, MUCH, MUCH more naturally to my brother thanks to his special talent. Assuming your profile age is correct, I know you’re quite a bit younger than me, but you’re almost an adult and you seem very mature by your “opinion/response”, so I’ll ask you this: why do you think God gave him a special talent that helped him get a girlfriend, but didn’t give me a talent that has helped me get a boyfriend?

[GubGubo]

So this is going to be a kind of long winded response because it is seems to be quite complex.

I first want to start by asking the (Rhetorical) question of: why are we trying to explain God?

To me it seems like we are trying to better understand God’s intentions and mechanisms for the world and therefore be able to adapt our behaviors to achieve the results we want, which in this case would be you finding a partner.

This is a core principle of how we progress as a society. We make up explanations about how the world works, we adapt our behaviors to said explanation, someone comes along and finds a point in which the explanation proves false, and then we change the explanation to fit our new discoveries and therefore our explanation become closer to reality.

This works wonders in the vast majority of situations but unfortunately doesn’t work with God, because there is no way to *disprove* an explanation or proposition of God’s plan. For example, anytime in which something unexpected happens that doesn’t align with your interpretation of the Bible, someone could always come along and say that it’s all part of God’s plan and that we are incapable of understanding it.

Because of this there is no real way to gauge how close an explanation is to the reality of God’s plan. And by extension, any behaviors made in response to a proposed explanation has no better a result than any other behavior.

Because of this, I believe that the question of why God gave him his talent isn’t going to help, and it’s not worth the trouble of adopting an external locus of control either.

[strateguy632]

to gub content control" good point!!

[FreyaRed]

Honestly, if you don't look like decayed water corpse and you don't create instant vomiting reflex in people around you die you appearance and body hygiene, your chances to find a guy who wants something for you very high. Standards of men are as high as morality of politicians.

[strateguy632]

to frey, sad but true, as a blue.

[jshm2]

Because no one deserves to end up with a sad, downer like you in their corner!

Joking aside, if you want to be loved, be more lovable. Too many people want to be "themselves" but get all pissy when others find them horrible and obnoxious as a result.

[strateguy632]

to js, i agree with u.

[XHopelessRomanticX]

I’m in the same boat as you sister! Sometimes God keeps us single for a while, and it’s frustrating. But it is, ultimately, for our utmost good. One thing this season of singleness has shown me is that I have a tendency to settle for less, and I often fail to be the kind of woman godly men would pursue. But I still hold faith that the day will come when God brings me that special someone. Don’t lose faith! Your time will come. 😊

[strateguy632]

to xh, keeps? you have free choice free will same as everyone anybody. being single is not a "decree" for any time nor at all. just choose. some are picky their choices "keep" them single.

[call_me_scar]

Millions of people were born into slavery, the Romans invaded nearby towns killed all the men and used the women to repopulate their numbers, women mutilated themselves when the Vikings invaded in order to look less attractive, a genocide is going on in Yemen and who knows how many people are living on the streets not knowing what their next meal is. Trust me if a god exists it doesn't give a flying fuck about your love life, good luck finding love though almost no one deserves that loneliness

[strateguy632]

to scar your intro failed to support your answer. you claimed god not cause single based on god not saving victims but these are separate issues. slavery is human choice god gave free will same about wars n roman viking yemen libya sudan etc. about poor has a reason he not help directly so i have someone to give too. n i must give.

[call_me_scar]

The point of it is if a god wasn't gonna help people with actual issues then it wasn't gonna care about her personal life. In the posters post she suggests that her god does give an edge to people which would be silly as that would mean god looks the other way as millions are killed in brutal ways but puts his focus on insuring her brother gets some pussy

[Berethor]

You believe that God exist? it usually easier for women to find someone, men do everything.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/31uWQhYB4Ww

[FunkyMonkee]

God has nothing to do with it. I've been lonely most of my life and I don't believe in that hokey, man-made bullshit. If you think it's REALLY god doing it to ya, you better ask it! But, you're gonna be waiting a LOOOOOONG TIME for the answer!!

[strateguy632]

which prophet told god wants you to be lonely? in new testament god wanted people to marry especially bishop, cough catholic. just keep lookin'.

[Ms_Facesitter]

If you wouldn't believe in God being a wingman, I'd be able to help you

[Asker]

@Ms_Facesitter

Help me how?

[Ms_Facesitter]

You have to not turn to God for things like these. If you're going to wait for Him, you might be waiting a while.

[MementoMori777]

You seem to lack one of the most important foundations of Christianity, TRUST IN GOD

[peterrezeeek]

ur likely to be single god knows things u don't..
so he do and allows good things to happen

[peterrezeeek]

can i be ur friend?

[peterrezeeek]

dm me please

[Asker]

I sent you a follow request. I don’t know if by dm you mean “private message”, but it says that for me to do that you have to “accept” my follow request.

[collie22]

You can have things go wrong if you didn't follow Gods word

[cullum]

Why ask us? Why not ask God? Everybody that's anybody is on girlsaskguys. But God does not have an account on girlsaskguys. Ergo, there is no god.

[strateguy632]

to cul... hard to follow. why ask us? kuz openminded. why not ask god? kuz most humans not prophets. ergo? if god not open an acount here ergo no god? he published "answers" in other books the only argument is which book? mahabharata or quran or old testament or new etc.

[shortster]

He doesn't, maybe you just aren't accepting the guys that He is sending your way?

[strateguy632]

to sho, like the boat in the flood story "i dont need a boat god will save me".