Search Results: negative feelings

This morning, I was watching the news, and they did an interview with a Psychologist from a local university, who spoke about microaggression.

I was struck by how interpretive, cultural, and generation-specific her comments seemed to be. This is what university students (especially female, as they tend to be the majority of those enrolled in psychology and the humanities) are being taught today. (She looked young, I would have guessed she was a student, but her title was Psychologist, so she's evidently graduated and is now teaching at the university. That means she is either Gen Z or Millennial.) This must be in their curriculum.

So, here's the question for you - do you consider someone being asked these questions microaggressions, or are they examples of over-sensitivity and victim mentality?

Examples:

"Your English is good."

"Where are you from?"

She claims this "Leads To:

• Increase in negative emotions
• Feelings of being different, not included
• Feeling not valued
• Increases in blood pressure
• Increases in cortisol
• Higher rates of inflammation
• Poorer sleep
• Faster cellular aging"

At the end, I was happy to hear the news anchor say to her, "But sometimes these questions might not be microaggressions, right? Sometimes they might just be genuine questions, out of curiosity. Maybe it's a good idea to ask a follow-up question, to find out." And to that, she agreed.

My boyfriend told me that because he grew up with his father, he is a difficult person to live with and he tries to be nothing like him (jealous, thinks he is always right, selfish, moody). He likes to control everybody's life, asking many questions about the simplest things, always trying to find the bad and negative things everywhere. My boyfriend is a very down to earth person he doesn't let anything get to him or destroy his mood and thats a characteristic that makes his father even angrier when he tries to argue with him about stuff that he doesn't agree with. Today I got upset because my boyfriend and his father were alone and they started talking about me, he was asking my boyfriend if he is truly happy with me, that he doesn't like how I speak with my boyfriend and I'm too rude and always look angry and mad with my boyfriend. My boyfriend defended me and said that I'm only rude or shout when he annoys me and that he likes annoying me and he is really happy with me and we are doing great, but his father continued saying that that's not what he sees and that I have to control myself and not be rude. I'll admit I'm not a saint I do get annoyed easily and I can speak in a higher tone with my boyfriend sometimes when he does annoying stuff and only when I speak louder does he listen, but that's something that my boyfriend knows about me and he doesn't get offended about it. Am I an asshole for feeling angry with his father, I don't like people getting involved In our relationship when we are doing so great and we didn't ask for any advice. I feel like his questions were not out of interest for my boyfriends future or out of love, I feel like he wanted to make my boyfriend feel that I'm not good enough, I don't know how to explain it.

1 No. I just find “liking” anyone in any kind of a way other than friendship to be

Extremely stressful. I’m not good at it. it’s probably a terrible idea for us to do anything bc we did actually get along before. ALSO I’m not being coy. 🤨 I know often if someone says something negative it’s taken as coy and I’m being serious I honestly dk if this is a good idea. I’m also serious when I say I move SLOW and I don’t mean sex I just mean anything as far as getting to know each other….

☝🏼 …But that does bring me to my other concern before you interrupted me…

All I know about sex is I’m not ready for it and as far as WHEN I will be or if I will EVER be I have NO idea…

…So if that’s the ride you’re looking for you should exchange your ticket 🎫 and hop on another train 🚂—I mean that with all due respect.

I know sex is a big deal to most people and I don’t judge I just really dk if it’s gonna matter to me.

(So he def looked more surprised here -& maybe concerned not sure-than he did when I said “it takes me a long time to talk” & he kind of paused…then asked)

2 Sooo is that like you HATE it orrrr you just never found out? 👀

1 🤔 Fair question I suppose but it doesn’t really impact the fact I’m not in any rush. Anyhow the latter.

(He looked a bit more relaxed which honestly bothered me but on the other hand, I am the one who brought it up so I can’t fault him for reacting and we are not in a Disney cartoon so I can’t expect him to not care about sex)

(Getting over my discomfort bc it was all fair his reaction, but I guess I did not know what to say)

1 I do know I do not want to date someone who’s is having sex with other people 🤢

(He looked kind of feeling accused)

1. Oh lol no ! I don’t necessarily think that’s what you’re saying. I’m only raising it bc I USED to think it was a GOOD solution a perfect one. Like I can date whomever and never have to worry about sex! And now I don’t think it’s such a good idea.👀

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