How do you deal with disappointment and frustration?

[420Rachel]

So I was planning on seeing my guy today, I was under the impression that we had made plans to see each other and get lunch after I got done with class. I asked him when his next off day was and he told me it was today. I asked him if I could come to his place and hangout and if we could get lunch. He said basically said "Yeah we can do that". This conversation occured on Friday. I even put on a nice outfit and did my makeup because I thought we had plans. I texted him good morning and he then tells me that "Morning hope you have a good day. Got a lot going on today. So if you are asking to see each other I can’t. I’ll talk to you later".

I read this message towards the end of class and I was so incredibly frustrated and disappointed I couldn't pay attention to the group discussion at the end of class today. I want so badly to tell him that I find it disappointing and frustrating that I thought we had made plans and that I wish he would have given me a heads up yesterday. I feel that it's bad for me to internalize my feelings but at the same time I don't want to give him my negative feelings. I just told him to have a good day and that if he has any free time later to let me know.

How do I deal with these feelings and how can I stop getting my hopes up when I think I'm going to see him? Should I communicate that I'm feeling frustrated? We don't get to see each other very often because we both have busy lives at this time.

[NathanDavis]

yes, you should definitely communicate and express the way you feel when these things happen, especially if is not the first time

not only it is the best idea to be open with your partners so they can understand you better and know you better as well, also because it could and it should help to prevent these type of situations in the future

another good idea would be to confirm with him the day before, just so can you be extra sure that the plans are still on or that they are still possible... because is not always to keep up with a plan that you made few days ago, especially when leading and living very busy lives

frustration and disappointment are some of the worse feelings to keep bottled up inside of us, so communicate and talk about these things with him, for your good, his good and the good of the relationship as well

and if you are not totally comfortable when bringing this up and talking about negative things, them maybe avoid to say things like "you disappointed me and you made me feel frustrated" don't make it about him doing this to you... maybe say something like "what happened, made ME feel this way, and I do not like to feel this way at all" from there, the talk should be about what the two of you should do to avoid this happening in the future and not exactly about blaming or pointing fingers, apologies or one having to make it up to the other

[ohsheeT]

Well you have to look at it for what it really is it's just a moment in time that you know who you are what you want but this guy doesn't this guy here if you want to get with him you can't plan anything it has to be spur of the moment if you plan something with him he will get nervous we will ever think it and he will bail but if you just out of the blue do something spontaneous right then and there

I think when you started making plans a lot of thought went through his head . Like I said I'm sure he was overthinking the whole thing I bet you it bugged him all weekend I know what I'm trying to say but I'm not saying it LOL maybe you should ask him to come over to your house or maybe you shouldn't have asked him and maybe next time you start talking with him just go ahead you want to go do this right now if he says no Then he's content being who he is and what he's doing right now in this moment of time or he's just really shy or he doesn't have money to go do anything or he might have a girlfriend and you know the answer to your question it's like you've dealt with everything else in your life you just do it you've been through worse than this

[Anonymous]

I deal with disappointment and frustration by not dealing with a man who feels it’s ok to put me through those negative emotions. Everyone makes mistakes so if I really like him then I’ll give a second chance and hope he doesn’t repeat the “mistake” but that’s it — no one should get the chance to disrespect you over and over. With this guy, if this is his first offense then let him know what he did was not ok. Suppressing your feelings over this will only give him the impression that you will accept bad behavior, and you shouldn’t want his to think it’s cool. So yes, absolutely let him know what’s on your mind.

[midnightmoon05]

You are not very important in his life.
if you two are not boyfriend/girlfriend. Don’t expect anything from someone who does not value you.

[OlderAndWiser]

How involved are you with this guy?

[Still-alive]

wow thats pretty bad. you should express these concerns with him at some point in a calm manner otherwise i feel you may just lose it on him one day if he tries this again. he should realize that his words matter to you and if he says he was gonna do something with you he should do them. i feel like you have a good justification here to be upset with him

[exitseven]

Yes, communicate your feelings Relationships take a lot of work. You both have lots going on. It would be a shame to lose it over something like that.

[exitseven]

to answer your question- I usually try to tell myself that it happened and going forward I have to do better. This one helped me through grad school.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnH6PvcCm-M

[FilmGuy93]

A lot of my reaction depends on what my expectation was. What kind of relationship do you have with this guy, and is this something he's done before?

[loveslongnails]

Did you ask him if he remembered you had plans? His response to you sounds really curt, cold and uncaring. If this is typical behavior, you might want to rethink if you're a priority in his life, or a convenience.

[spartan55]

Does he pull shit like this often? What is the nature/history of your relationship with him?

[midnightmoon05]

Exactly my thought.

[legalboxers]

I wake up with it and deal with it - 24/7 365

[eagle1951]

scream hit shit go to the range and shoot paper guys

[Jennz6]

I just don’t think about it.

[420Rachel]

Shoo. I'm an overthinker so if something is plaguing my mind I tend to focus on it. 😣

[Makeushiver]

Cry and hurt small defenseless animals

[BarryLiverstone]

Work out, play games, travel

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Set your expectations low

[Anonymous]

its part of life...

[msc545]

Peacefully