Have you ever been in a star crossed lovers relationship and how do you deal with it after?

Question

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching and the romance and love everywhere it makes me think of those romantic relationships that weren't meant to be and just couldn't last, not because a lack of love but because sometimes too much is stacked against them.

Have you been in this situation? What stood in your way?

I think most of us have been here. Perhaps, it wasn't even a true relationship because you knew before it even started there was no way it could end in anything more than heartache and disappointment.

I've thought about it from time to time. Wondered what it could have been like if the stars had aligned and things would have gone differently.

Do you think about them anymore?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I am a happily married business professional. I have never cheated, except (sort of) once, the 1 woman that made me think of leaving my wife. I work with colleagues in Europe. About 6 years ago my company hired a woman there. She traveled to the U. S. for me to train. She was striking, tall, blonde and almost 20 years my junior. We hit it off immediately. She was here a week. We saw a lot of each other... work, lunches and a couple dinners (not alone, with other colleagues). I was smitten but didn't do anything inappropriate. But it seemed she was attracted to me, even mildly flirting. Shortly after she left I politely inquired about her. I found out she is a confirmed lesbian, & living with another woman! Oh my God I felt like a fool, a deluded old man. So the next time I talked to her, I was nice but professional. After a few minutes, she asked what was wrong, I wasn't my "friendly" self. I confessed all and began to apologize. She interrupted, laughed and said "No you you idiot, I really like you. You didn't get that?" Now I am forking confused. But aren't you living with a woman? She said yes, but she's been attracted to a few men in her life. Somehow I had joined that small list. And she felt like our flirting was harmless because we work well together and I was a gentleman. For 3 years our friendship grew half a world away. We continued to not only flirt, but grow closer. But no sex chat, no pictures, none of that. Then she visited my office again for a 2 week project. First time we were alone I told her I loved her, and she said she loved me too, and we kissed passionately. We were inseparable those 2 weeks, found times to be alone. We held hands, kissed, but no sex. We didn't even talk about sex or the future at all. It was like we knew we would make love only if we decided to be together. On her last night sitting on my car outside her hotel room, she finally told me she didn't know what to do, whether she wanted to be with her girlfriend or try to move to the U. S. for me. I knew she would've invited me to her room if I asked. Instead I looked into her eyes and said, I love you, but we will probably never see each other again, & that's probably best. We cried, kissed, held each other, said goodbye. When she got back she told me she couldn't wreck my marriage, and I agreed. We never mentioned it again & we worked well together 2 more years. She left the company 9 mths ago & we haven't talked since. I think of her every day, think I always will.

10bear · Accepted Answer

That is where I'm at right now. She put the stop to it. Said that she needed time to get her thoughts together because thing had moved much to fast. I'm now morning the loss and feels like we had been together for years though it was truly only weeks. I fell for her the first time I met her. It was the closest I think you can get to love at first sight.

Livinglogical · Accepted Answer

Most of these are just relationships with narcissists. For example they love bomb u and make u feel like u two are 'meant to be' but then they stir up some drama. Eg maybe they tell you they just aren't the relationship sort or that their parents hate u. Or they just change and you are left still believing that person u loved is in there somewhere. They keep u hanging on through unmet needs (eg 1 part sugar to 9 parts poison). If two people are right for each other, it isn't star crossed, its drama free.

AthleticMom · Accepted Answer

Usually this has been either millionaires or those popular in music
but they either take a bullet or stray too much to keep them
Sure emotions still run high in memories but what a life of hell to live

cherryphi82 · Accepted Answer

Yes. I think about them a lot still. I don't think I could ever forget them. My biggest wish one day is to see them again.

Wollu · Answer

Yes. My last marriage. You can literally end up with a gun in your mouth if you're a weak man and unaware of how to defend yourself against the pain. You have to start thinking, logically, for a very long time. Without thinking, the emotions will flood you and they won't go away. Romantic love is pretty and sometimes deadly fantasy.

unknown-creature · Answer

Yes, obviously, I think this situation is very common, we love to a charter but there were a lot of hard circumstances. And sometimes we couldn't stand each other, our temperament were really strong and we had a lot of fights frequently. With enough time I moved on, but she always be special for me and I will never forget her.

Naitsabes1908 · Answer

Tbh i think that might be the situation i am in now this girl and i really like eachother but everything seems slightly off and the timing of everything couldnt be worse but i hope we can make everthing work. Good luck everyone :)))

JimRSmith · Answer

A few I've never started because I could see it couldn't work out, yes. Geography was usually a big factor. I don't think about them much now, though.

BronzedAdonis · Answer

eh, sorta. I fell hopelessly in love with the wrong girl and it was unrequited but it never would have worked long-term because we had starkly different personalities and I wasn't mature enough at that point in my life.

chrisv · Answer

It’s exhausting, exhilarating, busy, overwhelming, wonderful, frantic, stressful and extremely satisfying. I was beautifully entwined... until she wasn’t. Then it was just shitty.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes my last relationship ended cause my world fell apart and so did I. My ex did just not want to deal with it. If it happened at another time maybe.

lordgrifis · Answer

Damn, i'm married and i had at least two of those things after marriage. Last just a weeks ago.

Steve37 · Answer

Thankfully no. A lifetime of wondering what could have been would drive me crazy.

John_Doesnt · Answer

Yes, she just didn't realize we were ever in a relationship. Also, we never met she just lived next door and never closed her blinds. We were star crossed lovers just like you're talking about.

Lillscan · Answer

My ex where my Everything i still dont know how to handle it :/

Elementis · Answer

I've banished mine to the Netherlands of my mind.

Glen68 · Answer

I have and it took me a while to heal

Nice222 · Answer

Yes some relationships just are not meant to be.

Hannajenky · Answer

Not exactly but kind of

CaptainSmartass · Answer

Not that I know of, no.. Simples...

LegateLanius · Answer

Nope

AlexDelux · Answer

One day maybe I will

Have you ever been in a star crossed lovers relationship and how do you deal with it after?

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