I honestly don't know If I come off as uninterested when a man approaches me or if the man is afraid ill reject him. But why approach if you're scared? I'm genuinely confused by this. Shouldn't the man take the lead when he approaches?
Men: what is your biggest fear when it comes to approaching woman you find attractive? How do you expect or hope she'll respond?
Many people would agree with you but the new norms are not making this a blanket true statement for how all women want to be approached. The new social media shaming some younger women partake in (I know not all of course) make it confusing for guys. They're not worried about rejection as much as they are being labeled a creep for just trying to show interest or ask you out and then having or broadcasted in tiktok that you're harassing them. For me I don't care lol. I'm polite and if you act really rude to me over it, I just apologize, move on, and count my blessings I'm not with a person that behaved so poorly.
I also, don't hit on people in bars. Alcohol being involved is a no no way to meet a girl for me. I try to meet people through friends and gatherings with friends where alcohol is not involved.
This all being said from a much older age than you lol. I think younger people are more nervous because of the things I've stated like being labeled a creep. My younger male friends tell me girls aren't always super approachable while out and you can be good intentioned. I can't speak for them. I say who cares that girl is not worth your time but you gotta try as long as you're not being rude or a creep for real which men are also known to be at times.
In 2026 though it's ok for you to approach a guy and if you're hesitant because it's hard to do or you're nervous at the thought about it... well welcome to what men have felt for 1000 years lol. The ones that suffer unfortunately are the good men and the good women lol. I say just shoot your shot, have thick skin, and move on if it's a no. Always be nice and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Longest answer ever lol
I avoid "approaching" women because it frames me and her in an artificial scenario I find cringe.
Instead I just socialize with them, normally, and if these discussions feel nice over time then sooner or later, each of us will find ways to signal mutual interest in a more obvious way...
That's actually really nice. I'm usually thrown off when a man approaches so I'm at a loss of words. Especially since they normally approach when I'm distracted.
Yeah so I don't know I could possibly come off as "uninterested" which a man may see as rejection. Yet I'm actually trying to process things in real time
You could come off as that, or not, you won't know what's right and wrong I guess. And if a man, or a woman expects a natural reaction in an unnatural situation, then I'd say it's their problem lol
They are insecure and paranoid about being labeled a creep or facing some kind of sexual assault accusation, even though that is one in a thousand, if that kind of thing.
Men need to stop taking advice from equally delusional, insecure men and then they may actually get somewhere.
Well here's the thing, sometimes a woman can reject gently but sometimes they can be rather harsh about it. It's difficult though cuz many times men don't take a gentle "no" for an answer and continues to pressure on.
But that being said, somehow when a person is rejected it can feel that the rejection comes "because he/she is not good enough". But it could be simply "cuz you're not his/her type". Some like oranges, others like apples.
The reason many times that a guy will still approach is simply because the attraction is higher than the fears. But the fears are still in there.
Almost all men, except those few with a history of almost never being rejected, go through this when asking a woman out for the first time. No man enjoys the feelings that they get just before doing this and getting the woman's verdict, but then again, no man enjoys being lonely, and no man enjoys being sexually frustrated. So, in order to solve the problems and the discomfort of being lonely and sexually frustrated, (frustration tends to get chronic) We go through the discomfort of having to deal with a woman for the first time because at least that ends fairly quickly one way or the other. Given the fact that most women would rather sit home alone or spend time out with their girlfriends rather than ask again out, we don't have a lot of choice in the matter.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
12 h
Men are not as desperate as they use to be. They see how all these women online bragging about humiliating a man having him come out and buy them dinner only for him to reject him.
The women that are actually interested in him will want to just come to his place and chill or go for a walk in the park.
When do all the things that they are told will get them a woman they realize if the women really wanted him he wouldn't have to spend a dime on a date.
Approaching someone you're interested in isn't desperate. You need deep therapy. You're traumatized no offense but you are. I have not seen or read anything about anyone humiliating men info buying dinner just to reject them. Maybe stop engaging with those types of negative people
@Smileygirl2000 My biggest fear is that after I get to know her, I won't want to continue with her for some reason. Bad habits, tattoos' that I did not see in the beginning, drinking too much. etc
Let me put it this way: if I don't get any positive signals from a woman I find attractive, I won't go over and talk to her. If I can foresee that it’s going to end badly, there’s no point in going over to talk.
It was not only fear of rejection it was also the fear that she would tell all her friends ablut it and they all would make fun of me. I cannot beleive how much I used to care what others think.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
16 h
Being labeled a creep or worse false sexual assault accusations.
That's the reality of dating these days for men. I partly blame modern feminism which convinced women that men are bad and therefore should be feared and hated.
I will not approach women any more. First of all as a 60 year old, where do you meet people? And second I don't like being laughed at. I have not been on a date since I was 23.
So how do you expect to meet a woman or date if you don't approach? And if you do approach her what are you hoping she'll say that will give you the green light to ask her out?
She can still scream rape. What does this have to do with personality? Focus on being less shallow and maybe just maybe you'll meet someone that doesn't cry rape.
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Some may think the biggest fear is getting rejected, but that's what happens most of the time.
The biggest fear is that she says Yes. Then I have to perform, take it to the next step.
🤣🤣
Many people would agree with you but the new norms are not making this a blanket true statement for how all women want to be approached. The new social media shaming some younger women partake in (I know not all of course) make it confusing for guys. They're not worried about rejection as much as they are being labeled a creep for just trying to show interest or ask you out and then having or broadcasted in tiktok that you're harassing them. For me I don't care lol. I'm polite and if you act really rude to me over it, I just apologize, move on, and count my blessings I'm not with a person that behaved so poorly.
I also, don't hit on people in bars. Alcohol being involved is a no no way to meet a girl for me. I try to meet people through friends and gatherings with friends where alcohol is not involved.
This all being said from a much older age than you lol. I think younger people are more nervous because of the things I've stated like being labeled a creep. My younger male friends tell me girls aren't always super approachable while out and you can be good intentioned. I can't speak for them. I say who cares that girl is not worth your time but you gotta try as long as you're not being rude or a creep for real which men are also known to be at times.
In 2026 though it's ok for you to approach a guy and if you're hesitant because it's hard to do or you're nervous at the thought about it... well welcome to what men have felt for 1000 years lol. The ones that suffer unfortunately are the good men and the good women lol. I say just shoot your shot, have thick skin, and move on if it's a no. Always be nice and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Longest answer ever lol
I avoid "approaching" women because it frames me and her in an artificial scenario I find cringe.
Instead I just socialize with them, normally, and if these discussions feel nice over time then sooner or later, each of us will find ways to signal mutual interest in a more obvious way...
That's actually really nice. I'm usually thrown off when a man approaches so I'm at a loss of words. Especially since they normally approach when I'm distracted.
I was also thrown off the few times I've been approached, so I think your response to approach is perfectly normal lol
Yeah so I don't know I could possibly come off as "uninterested" which a man may see as rejection. Yet I'm actually trying to process things in real time
You could come off as that, or not, you won't know what's right and wrong I guess. And if a man, or a woman expects a natural reaction in an unnatural situation, then I'd say it's their problem lol
They are insecure and paranoid about being labeled a creep or facing some kind of sexual assault accusation, even though that is one in a thousand, if that kind of thing.
Men need to stop taking advice from equally delusional, insecure men and then they may actually get somewhere.
Right and at some point they have to man up. This paranoia and insecurity is very annoying
Well here's the thing, sometimes a woman can reject gently but sometimes they can be rather harsh about it. It's difficult though cuz many times men don't take a gentle "no" for an answer and continues to pressure on.
But that being said, somehow when a person is rejected it can feel that the rejection comes "because he/she is not good enough".
But it could be simply "cuz you're not his/her type". Some like oranges, others like apples.
The reason many times that a guy will still approach is simply because the attraction is higher than the fears. But the fears are still in there.
Almost all men, except those few with a history of almost never being rejected, go through this when asking a woman out for the first time. No man enjoys the feelings that they get just before doing this and getting the woman's verdict, but then again, no man enjoys being lonely, and no man enjoys being sexually frustrated. So, in order to solve the problems and the discomfort of being lonely and sexually frustrated, (frustration tends to get chronic) We go through the discomfort of having to deal with a woman for the first time because at least that ends fairly quickly one way or the other. Given the fact that most women would rather sit home alone or spend time out with their girlfriends rather than ask again out, we don't have a lot of choice in the matter.
Men are not as desperate as they use to be. They see how all these women online bragging about humiliating a man having him come out and buy them dinner only for him to reject him.
The women that are actually interested in him will want to just come to his place and chill or go for a walk in the park.
When do all the things that they are told will get them a woman they realize if the women really wanted him he wouldn't have to spend a dime on a date.
Approaching someone you're interested in isn't desperate. You need deep therapy. You're traumatized no offense but you are. I have not seen or read anything about anyone humiliating men info buying dinner just to reject them. Maybe stop engaging with those types of negative people
@Smileygirl2000 My biggest fear is that after I get to know her, I won't want to continue with her for some reason. Bad habits, tattoos' that I did not see in the beginning, drinking too much. etc
That's just a risk you'll have to take how else will you date if you're overthinking before hand?
@Smileygirl2000 Very true, and the same for her maybe rejecting me later for some reason.
Let me put it this way: if I don't get any positive signals from a woman I find attractive, I won't go over and talk to her. If I can foresee that it’s going to end badly, there’s no point in going over to talk.
I like this comment
Thanks lady..
It was not only fear of rejection it was also the fear that she would tell all her friends ablut it and they all would make fun of me. I cannot beleive how much I used to care what others think.
Being labeled a creep or worse false sexual assault accusations.
Wow this is so sad.
That's the reality of dating these days for men. I partly blame modern feminism which convinced women that men are bad and therefore should be feared and hated.
NOWADAYS the only fear I have is that she could have a pickle or once had one.
I will not approach women any more. First of all as a 60 year old, where do you meet people? And second I don't like being laughed at. I have not been on a date since I was 23.
I tend to play the hunted better than the hunter.
"But why approach if you're scared? I'm genuinely confused by this. Shouldn't the man take the lead when he approaches?"
Seriously? YOU are the problem.
She will lie to the police and have me put in jail.
Here it is just outright illegal to approach so prison
Not scream,"R*pe!!!"
So how do you expect to meet a woman or date if you don't approach? And if you do approach her what are you hoping she'll say that will give you the green light to ask her out?
She'd have to appear sensible as well as buxom, hot and girly.
She can still scream rape. What does this have to do with personality? Focus on being less shallow and maybe just maybe you'll meet someone that doesn't cry rape.
I would fear rejection.
that she has a sexual disease
always the fear of rejection