Do you think I should stop speaking to my parents?

[Anonymous]

I love my parents so much, but I'm not what they wanted and it's breaking my heart and holding me back. They've spent so much money on me, sent me to college, helped me move from various apartments, had me over for dinner countless times, they tell me they love me... and yet my mom told me a couple months ago that I should never have kids because they're nothing but a big disappointment, and they favor my older brother despite the fact that he treats me like absolute dirt. They always side with him. He just got married last week and I gave him several hundred dollars as a gift, and he never even bothered to text me to say thank you. When I told my mom, she said that I was being catty and self absorbed and making everything about me. That's just one small example of what I've had to deal with my entire life. He visibly ignores right in front of them, and they say nothing about his behavior.

They knock down everything I do. I make a living wage as a receptionist and pay my own apartment rent and am ENTIReLY financially independent from them, and yet they still tell me my job is a disappointment. Recently I've started making a little extra cash on freelance writing and they can't even begin to act like they're happy for me, even though they know I've always dreamt of being a writer.

I'm just wondering if I should just stop speaking to them. I love them and I'm crying as I write this, because it would break my heart but I can't keep seeking their approval and continuously falling short. I can't keep being the least favorite child, second to a narcissist.

do you think I should stop talking to them?

Yes

No

[deroy]

I know how it feels like. It's probably most of the childs have gone through and there is nothing to be worried of. You have read your situation right. Yet you are asking the wrong question. You should not be bothered about the answer of 'should I stop seeing them?' The question you should ask yourself, is 'how I should make myself happy and bother not at all about other's opinion?'

If you don't mind, please drop a message to me. I have been there where you are. I would love to help you. I'm going through a transformational period in my life. I would love to assist one as well. Don worry, I'm not making a cheapshot here or won't ask you to buy you anything either.

[abc3643]

I totally understand and am in something of a similar situation.

Don't officially stop speaking to them but consider speaking a lot less to them. For instance, only reply to their inquiries to talk to you. (*) Ideally, also, consider living far away from them.

(*) Use this technique when dealing with anyone whom you really do not want to have a relationship with anymore. this atrophying of the relationship is the best way to go because it minimizes the potential for drama.

[linds34]

I don't know if you can stop talking to them entirely because they're your parents but it sounds like you should at least avoid them for a while. It's never good to spend a lot of time talking to someone who is so negative & judgmental.

Regarding the job, the majority of people are working at lame jobs, especially in our 20s. I really hate when people act like there's something wrong with that. Being a receptionist, or customer service like I do, is a perfectly honorable way to make a living and not something to feel bad about. Parents shouldn't be disappointed unless their kids are making their living through crime or something really unethical like that.

[ije912]

You're an adult. Why are you seeking their approval? And have you told them exactly how you feel? I wouldn't blame you for not talking to them but I'm not going to tell you to stop, and that's not something you should seek the advice of strangers for, as you know that it's a decision that YOU have to make. You're not going to be happy until you live for yourself and stop seeking the approval of those around you. There's far more important issues in this world. To sum it up: tell them exactly what's going through your mind; stop seeking the approval of others; do what you gotta do, but know there are consequences to whatever decision you make.

[Starshine85]

Sounds like you need to distance yourself from them a bit and talk to/share stuff with friends and other people a bit more instead. I'm not sure if cutting them off entirely is a good idea but I don't know the whole situation

[ajf04]

It's a little more complicated than a Yes or No. If their behavior is causing you this much stress and unhappiness then yes you can interact much less frequently with them. But maybe you can tell them all this before and see if they can understand how much they're hurting you. Best of luck and stay strong! <3

[SlashSlash]

I've started to get the same kind of treatment from my parents except my elder brother and me have a fucking awesome relationship... you should keep talking to your parents, less maybe, but don't stop talking and don't expect anything from them just keep on going with your life and find peace.. remember, least favourite is still a favourite 😉 I wish you the best.

[CarpetDenim]

Maybe distance yourself from them and stop letting the need for their approval influence your life, but I wouldn't recommend you cut off communication altogether.

[yashwanthjas]

thers a solution to your problem just keep calm for some days , and be as your self and try explain your feelings through your behaviour
that how much you're loving your parents

[swanask]

I wouldn't say stop talking to the cold turkey. What I would say is create a little distance and try to learn to not take the negative things they say to heart

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Chill out. It's no big deal. Just focus on you. Let your parents be what they are and ignore them when they act stupid.

[baby181036]

You are from which country?

[Anonymous]

No they are your parents. Dont stop

[Anonymous]

Murdering spree