My ex-boyfriend dumped me because his parents don't like my parents. Why did he give up too easily?

[Anonymous]

I had a fantastic relationship with my ex-boyfriend, and we didn't experience any significant issues while we were dating. However, it didn't take long for my parents to learn that I was dating him and that we had started getting intimate. Due to this, my parents became overly protective of me to the point that there was no longer any privacy in our relationship. My parents began to distrust me and would frequently demand photos of me wherever I went. Of course, this has a negative impact on us both. At some point, our relationship just felt under extreme pressure, and we are no longer able to enjoy our dates. I had no idea that it hurt him more than I had expected. He constantly worries that something he does with me will unknowingly irritate my parents. By having to deal with my parents, who keep pressuring him to make decisions, he was literally torturing himself. He cares deeply about me, but he doesn't want to feel constrained by my parents when we are both still young and have a long way to go. He occasionally vented to his parents about this. They eventually began to feel uncomfortable about my parents because they could tell that the way things were going affected his mental state. My ex-boyfriend began to struggle to figuring out what he really wanted in his life. One day, his parents decide enough is enough with my parents' actions. They encourage my ex-boyfriend to make wise decisions and pick what's best for him. He immediately lost all motivation to continue with me when he realize that his parents were dissatisfied with our relationship. He soon chooses to leave me. By the time my parents agreed to give us some privacy, my ex realize there was no purpose in starting over. His parents were already aware that both of us were no longer in a romantic relationship, and they were pleased with his decision. He had also made the decision to put his own needs first. He then mentioned that he wants to love someone while feeling free before committing.

[OlderAndWiser]

As long as you live with your parents, they can meddle and interfere to the point that joy is sapped from the relationship. As he tried to see into your future, did he have any reason to anticipate aything other than more of the same? What should he have seen that would give him a reason to hang in there?

[spartan55]

He didn't dump you because his parents don't like yours. Him dumping you was because of the pressure your parents put on the relationship. He would have ended it soon anyway I think.

[Asker]

That is very true...

[laraWM]

Are you still living with your parents? It is really not easy to go against your parents in such a situation.
Maybe if his parents can pay for somewhere you can live together? It could be easier?

[Asker]

Yes, I still live at home with my parents. Throughout our relationship, we have never asked our parents for assistance. We pay for all we do out of savings we have on hand. implying that we probably wouldn't want to ask his parents to cover our rent.

[laraWM]

Did you try to tak to his parents, to reassure them?
Then if you can afford it, then you could rent something

[Asker]

Due to his belief that it would worsen the issue, my ex-boyfriend wouldn't let me speak to his parents. Just before we broke up, he had a serious conversation with his mother. She told him that even though he and I will get along well, there is a big chance that my parents won't get along well with their parents. His mother worries that it will affect their image as a large, lovely family. I can see why his mother is concerned. My parents are really strict, unlike his parents, and we don't have those family get-togethers.

[laraWM]

I'm sorry. I guess your boyfriend is also unhappy with that, maybe you could try to convince him to improve things for you with his mom

[Asker]

It's alright. If his parents are convinced that I am unworthy of him, there isn't much I can do. If only we had started dating later—perhaps right after we graduated—we could have find a job and moved in together right away. My parents won't have an excuse to bother us after that.

[laraWM]

Yes you're right

[Avicenna]

Well, it sounds like his parents are very influential in his life. Rest assured, you are far from the only person who has lost a relationship because their boyfriend's or girlfriend's parents did not like their boyfriend or girlfriend.

[Pyrofox]

in my opinion your parents completely sabotaged the relationship. By making it seem your incapable of making your own decisions. Nobody wants to be around helicopter parents.

[Twalli]

He didn't give up. He fought hard and eventually ended it to save his sanity. Your parents nearly broke him. He decided to save his mental state and that meant leaving you.

[Asker]

Yes, I'm beginning to comprehend him. We eventually had a serious discussion to straighten things out. He cares deeply about me, but he doesn't believe our relationship can continue because it is destroying his mental health. He is aware of how miserable I would be if he chose me only to suffer as a result. At the end of our conversation, he prayed that I would someday meet someone who could handle me and take good care of me, as opposed to him, who preferred to put more of an importance on himself.

[Guy13]

Yes, our pack and/ clan define our Past Present and Future whether it be fair or not

[Juxtapose]

He's really silly. I could not imagine giving a single fuck what either my family or my girlfriend's family would think.

[Asker]

In anything he wanted to do, his parents always supported him. He has had minor anxiety since he was a child, which causes him to have panic attacks even over seemingly minor things. Of course, his family is the one that always helps him get through it. He has never experienced the lack of support from his family. Therefore when his family are upset over my parents, and doesn't encourage him to stay with me, he immediately feel lost and confused about what he really wants.

[Juxtapose]

Sounds like he has some growing up to do, shame.

[Googlemyahoo]

Sounds like some cultural bullshit to me. Find someone who isn’t a manchild capable of making adult decisions

[KrakenAttackin]

Because his family is very important to him.

[Asker]

I truly understand why his parents are so important to him. His parents are quite supportive and not at all strict, in contrast to my parents. They even frequently had family gatherings with their other relative. A perfect embodiment of a great family.

[In_Trance]

He just has a different sense of value when it comes to family then you do. That said, there was nothing to give up on