Search Results: prove my love

For me that feels like it is the case despite being one and the same body. Basically it goes like this.

Me: I love girls, they are so nice.

Brain: They want your money!

Me: Shut up brain! It's not true and you know it.

Brain: It's not my fault you kept watching so many gold digger videos. I am reflecting what you were doing.

Me: (raises both palms before my head) OK, fair enough, there's no denying in that. But please enough is enough already. Besides there were girls, who weren't impressed by expensive cars and gifts and they kept being with the same guy.

Brain: Hah! We'll see about that. Get a girlfriend and prove me wrong. Then maybe I will give it a rest.

Me: 😓 If only it was so easy and you're driving a hard bargain.

Brain: It's a fair deal. Just think about it and get motivated. Show me they're not interested in your money and i will reconsider what I'll give you as random thoughts.

So yeah, obviously i will not tell girls nor a girlfriend, that this is what goes on in my head. It will scare them away, they'll think, that i think, that they are gold diggers and that will just make them fume of anger and it's generally not nice to hear about it. I'm better than that. Unless she's really open minded, understanding, very curious and/or a psychotherapist. I'm probably a bit crazy but aren't we all?

I’ve twice been in a position where I wanted to break up but my girlfriend who didn’t do anything wrong. It really was more of a “it’s not you it’s me” thing.

I did option B years ago and deeply regretted it. As twisted as it sounds I acted douchey on purpose (acting disconnected and taking her for granted). Truth is I deeply loved her as a person but I wanted to make it easier for her to move on. I could of dropped the axe earlier but instead I drove her into breaking up with me. Noble intentions or not above B actually ended horribly (complicated). I thought we had a mutual respect/understanding at the end. But she looked at me like I was less than human later.

So years later when I was in the exact same position again I choose option A. My then girlfriend went nuclear and threatened to seriously kill herself. In a way she proved my deep down suspicions that getting serious with her was a bad idea. Her reaction made me feel like I made the right decision. I got over that one much more quickly. But I also got to deal with some guilt that I did at one point get her hopes up.

I feel like break ups are a zero sum game.