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Uh oh. Someone's being naughty.
Who's a good boy?!
Social Creatures
All dogs today have been domesticated from wolves of more than 15,000 years ago, yet they have still retained much of the same wild behaviour. (And this is, in part, what we love about them.) To wit, wolves have evolved an ingenious adaptation to ensure that play is not misinterpreted as aggression. (A very necessary signal, considering they have the most powerful bite force of any canine species, and fighting could prove fatal.) By studying not just wild pack animals, but even our own domestic dogs, we can learn a few things which can be applied to our own politics. There are few differences between wolf and dog culture, and there are many similarities to our human culture. The rules of engagement are really quite simple, yet for perhaps myriad complex reasons, we humans seem to have lost our way in how we communicate with one another. (Spoiler: the internet gave naughty new meaning.)
Not all species are classified as social, but the human species is most certainly one of them. Sure, individual preferences may vary; and extrovert, introvert, and ambivert traits also play a role, but in general, humans enjoy a balance of alone time and social time. It is, of course, when we come together, that differences arise, and so the likelihood of intermittent disagreements and tensions. The details of these differences actually matter little (well, less than many who are entrenched in theirs tend to believe), yet to all, we can probably apply some relatively simple rules, such as our animal cousins do.
Creating and maintaining social bonds is a necessity for most species (save for a few; Snow Leopards, Eurasian Lynxes, Panda Bears, Koala Bears... well, all the bears, actually, come to mind, but their stories are for another time.) I was going to write, here, a summary of human social group ideals and what constitutes manageable numbers, etc., but the topic is another that interests me, and it became larger as I researched it, so I think will leave that for another day. So, let's just say for now that pack numbers vary, and the larger the pack, the more likely trouble is to occur. Your typical wolf pack may be up to twenty, but human social groups are far larger, and we all know, the larger the group, the more unwieldy and unfocused it tends to become, so it's not surprising we humans have some much trouble. But this isn't about that. This is about, simply, how to interact, and engage, with one another, and how to have some fun, one-on-one.
Puppy Politics
For all social animals, playing together is a crucial component of success and survival. Through play, animals learn how to be social, how to pair bond, and through all of this, they benefit from the safety and security of the group.
Play is a vigorous activity. This close contact can look very much like real aggression. So, how do animals tell each other they just want to play? Well, dogs have evolved a set of signals to reduce the likelihood that play fighting with elevate into aggression. So long as everyone plays by the rules of the game, playing together boosts tolerance, creates bonds, and helps everyone get along.
Deciphering the Code
The Play Bow, What Is It?
A hunched posture, head low, hind quarters in the air, open mouth, and direct eye contact.
It is a very specific signal used to communicate, "I want to play with you. I don't want to fight you, eat you, or dominate you."
When two animals play, they often become so in tune with one another that they synchronize their movements. Delays can be as little as 3/100 second.
Once play is underway, it is important players don't violate the rules of the game. All players must adhere to them.
The Set of Rules Governing the Game Are:
1. Ask First: First get the attention of a play partner, with a bark. Only once they are looking does the play bow take place. With the formalities out of the way, play can commence.
2. Mind Your Manners: When play has commenced, it's important to not play too rough. Don't bite too hard, don't slam your body too hard. Dogs use measured self-restraint to ensure they don't inflict injury on their playmates.
3. Admit When You're Wrong: If you bite too hard, back off, and apologize using a play bow. If the other dog accepts your apology it will reply with a play bow as well, signalling, "Okay, I trust you. Let's play again." Once acknowledged, play can resume.
4. Be Honest: Don't ask another dog to play and then violate the rules. It's important to play fairly, because if a dog violates the rules and is labelled a cheater in play, they can be ostracized from the group. For wild canines, this can prove fatal. Violators are shunned, and are 4x less likely to survive.
So, that's about it. In essence, play is more than just child's play. It tests limits, teaches agility, strength, and how to socialize within a group. No matter our biological age, we should never lose our passion for play. But, remember, when tempers rise as they often do, and ideological and other differences clash and crash up against one another, we should really be no less motivated than our animal cousins, to resolve them.
I'm not going to write a long article here, and outline all the parallels to human social groups, and how they are expressed, especially via social media, as I think the parallels are fairly self-evident. I'll just say that no matter the species, integration, however temporary, and being part of a pack in the larger sense, is crucial to survival and social harmony, and if animals can do it, clearly we should be able to too. Groups can achieve more than individuals alone, but even if the lone wolf, or lone cat, is sometimes very impressive, productive, and can achieve much, playing with one another, from time to time, is still worth some headaches now and then; especially with a worthy foe (right, @Sixgunsound?)
"Well done š Thank you for answering instead of blowing me off; I know I can be difficult to talk to but Iām not deliberately trying to be a troll. I respect you as a worthy adversary even if we are unlikely to agree on everything."
And sometimes, it would be a good idea to, instead of characterizing every tension as a battle that needs to be won, and pummelling your opponent in the process... you throw in a play bow instead. Enough said.
Reference:
Concepts by Marc Bekoff, PhD, Evolutionary Biologist, 'Play Scientist', Author: "Animals at Play: Rules of the Game", and others...
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