MMen dont ask me out. How does that feel? To be unwanted?

[Anonymous]

Men dont try to date me
Once in a blue moon i get sexually harassed at work (there was a time it happend regularly but that was at my old job thankfully i left) or asked to go to strip clubs and drink at bars none of which appeals to me as i am saving myself for marriage and am totally sober
I have no family or friends at all in my life AT ALL. Please dont ask me for details to prove i have nobody. When i say nobody i mean it.
All i do in life is go to work and go shopping or read books or walk around or sleep or eat etc. Just lonesome activities including in public whch servers as a reminder that since men dont ask me out in public either i really am unwanted
Nobody ever wants to exchange numbers or text or call me as a friend (for females) or as a dating prospect (for males)
Its mostly the fact no man wants to even ask me out s the part that gets me. I understand at my age (late 20s) most people are interested in who they can date or marry NOT who they can become best friends with. Same for me i would love a husband more than getting a girl friend.
I've just been accepting lately that im just not cared about or cared for. Im not desirable. Men dont want to ask me out or date me at all.
Its been this way pretty much for years. I got texted twice and asked out once in recent memory. I've ony ever had one boyfriend and it was for a few weeks. He left me for another girl after taking my virginity like a savage.

Thats it. Thats my life. By 40 i will probably still be alone and just living a relatively boring life like now except maybe i will have a dog if i move up financially. I want a dog. But im poor and have a cat

[MrOracle]

The single biggest issue here is that you think dating is a completely passive activity on your part. IT IS NOT. You also seem to think it's entirely on the man to approach or to indicate interest. IT IS NOT. But you're clearly treating it as if it were, which is why you're getting so little interest. I bet if I could turn myself invisible and followed you around for a week, I'd found out that you put nearly zero effort into finding a man, and what little effort you DID make was abysmal.

Finding a partner is a lot like finding a job: in very rare cases, a good opportunity falls right in your lap - but that's very much the EXCEPTION to the rule, and 99% of the time, people who succeed only do so because they invested significant time and effort into their own success. in my opinion, you need to treat finding a partner like you would finding a job: devoting at least 2 hours a day, at least 6 days a week, on that endeavor.

A woman recently said the following, talking to other women with similar complaints to yours: "ladies: if you are sitting back waiting for a man to approach you, that's WRONG. Even 60 or 100 years ago, that's not how it worked. A woman would walk across the room, and if she saw a man she was interested in and wanted to talk to, she would 'accidentally' drop her hanky near him and keep going, seemingly unaware. The man would, of course, retrieve it and politely return it to her, providing some pretext for a conversation." The point is that the woman, even though she didn't directly approach the man (he would do that part), she still found a way to indicate interest on her part, so that the man had a clue that SHE was interested. This didn't mean that ALL men she received her hanky back from engaged in conversation with her - but it significantly increased her odds of having a conversation, which increased her odds of that conversation leading to a relationship.

YOU HAVE TO PUT IN THE WORK. And, for the love of Pete, do NOT try to meet men online - that's just a waste of everyone's time. You need to GO OUTSIDE and OUT INTO THE WORLD and meet men IN PERSON and, you know, TALK with them. This does several things: it ensures that you're dealing with LOCAL men and not some random dude in another state or another country that you'll never seen in person, and it bypasses all of the games so many people of both sexes play online that's just a huge waste of time. If you run into a guy who is 5'10", you're going to KNOW he's not 6'3", or you're going to know that he's driving a Ford and not a Ferrari. You're going to know what he looks like EVERYDAY, not just that one day where he posed for a really good "Instagram pic" in front of someone else's house, car, or boat.

I should add here that you also need to realize that the Top 20% of guys - the ONLY guys you probably EVER look at - are almost never "relationship guys" - they're only interested in casual relationships (at most), so if you're looking for a serious relationship, then pursuing such men is a complete waste of your time. Relationships are found among the lower 80% of men, most (though not all) of whom are open to serious relationships. You'll never CHANGE a man in this way, so make sure you are "fishing" in the "right body of water" for the kind of man that you want.

[HonestAssholeJ]

Depending where you live, the world is changing. Asking a woman out makes you seem like a predator.

I stopped hitting on woman a long time ago. That is why there are dating apps now. It takes the guess work out.

Cannot even look at a woman or start a nice conversation without being a predator now.

Woman who want to be hit on are paying the price now. Us men are not bothering anymore, the ones that do are probably the ones you don't want talking to you anyways.

Woman are the ones now that need to show a token effort, make eye contact, stare or show interest. Also I am pretty sure your mouth works as well and can try talking to a guy. It's a two way streak now.

[Tommy789]

If You are attractive then chances are Men will suspect You are taken or just fear rejection since Attractive Women are perceived to be arrogant and materialistic. Men get rejected by attractive Women on a regular basis which is why the prettier a woman is then the more she is seen as arrogant and materialistic. Sadly that is the nature of the beast.

[Asker]

They should take a chance. Thats what being a man is about. :)

[Tommy789]

@asker, The Chances of getting men to approach You are slim, Here is an assumption about Pretty Women
1) They like men who are Rich, Military, or have been in and out of prison.
2) Pretty Women only want Men to ask them out so that they can reject the man then brag to their friends about this.

Sorry to say but Attractive are victim of negative stereotypes

[Asker]

I still dont care. I dont respect a man whos scared. I need a real man. I fi wanted a wimp id be a dyke.

[Tommy789]

I would say make yourself more approachable, What turns a man off is when a Woman talks about other Men who to hit on her. Keep His attention, If You for example keep texting on a your phone then it will look like You are perhaps talking to some other guy and the guy you want to approach You will lose interest in You and most likely walk away. Maintain conversation with this Man, the more You pay attention the better the chances are that he will eventually tell You he is interested. One more tip, Guys are more hesitant to approach a Woman when She is in the company of a bunch of Her friends. This is weird I know, but I am pointing out other reasons a Man is hesitant to approach a Woman. The truth is, that the more You act like You know about Men, You don't. Try not to appear stuck up, a lot of guys hate that.

[DarkWinterNights]

You may need to work on yourself for a little bit. Ask yourself these questions (not being rude, just trying to help) Would you date you? What do you have to offer in a relationship? Are you approachable? Are you friendly? Are you funny? Do you have hobbies? Could you be coming across desperate? Or awkward? Maybe step outside your comfort zone a little. Try to make some friends first and go from there. I saw someone mention Meetup groups- those can be a good option. Maybe try the gym? Are you into video games? Tabletop board games? Seek out some groups or locals chats.


It’s not easy being an introvert, and sometimes you have to force yourself to do uncomfortable things, but it’s worth it.

[Anonymous]

So let me ask, are you cute? I mean really that’s what will bring men in to want to talk to you. If not your chances slim down a lot. But aside from that I wonder if you’re not even approachable. Like you act stuck up or something, bitchy to people. I mean even just having male friends or girlfriends doesn’t seem like any of that. So makes me really wonder what your personality is like.

[Guy13]

have you ever tried meetup. www.meetup.com search on interests or hobbies. Real live people...

[Asker]

Have u?

[Guy13]

Yes as it is much better than dating apps. Real people are better than digital fiction. Try it.

[Asker]

What type of group do you go to?

[Guy13]

go to the website and look. It is self-explanatory. Soccer, Social, Conservative Club etc :-)

[Asker]

Im asking about you

[Guy13]

i told you...

[Asker]

You play soccer?

[Guy13]

yes through university and now...

[Asker]

Wow... Soccer plagers are hot by the way

[Tommy789]

I personally don't suggest dating websites because there are a lot of catfish who are trying to get money

[slatyb]

Find activity groups doing things that interest you?

[MrMighty]

Maybe you’re just and asshole and most people don’t like your personality

[DiamondWalnut]

Well you sound interesting...

Wanna chat over an Emoji Coffee while it's hot?☕

[Subarugirl]

Maybe start with making a few friends..

[DarkWinterNights]

Yeah, no friends or family is kind of a red flag. Regardless of the reason- if someone can’t even keep friends, how are they going to manage a relationship?

[Bklynbadboy12]

Are you approachable