WWhy dont men ask me out?

[Anonymous]

I was at work and my crush and i held eye contact and then a minute later he started talking to a guy nearby about whether he should ask a girl coworker out.
I didn't think 'oh he must be talking about me' but it just surprised me when i later heard that he actually asked another girl coworker out. Im guessing she said no cause soon after she started dating a different male coworker.
And later on even months after my crush apparently asked her out, i heard him gossipping to another guy basically criticizing the girl for making out in public with her boyfriend before work.

I never really got male attention even in middle school. I had a friend who kept getting asked out by a guy over and over despite her saying no. I figured she was desired cause she seemed smart in school and like she wasn't afraid to stand up for things she believed in. She was popular.

Then there was me, who always tried to look pretty and girly (nothing crazy, i was not slutty dressed or anything but i have just always been a girly girl into cute things and attire). I wasn't into any particular guy that much. I didn't really have like crushes necessarily. So boys werent really my goal. I really moreso thought about how i wanted to be popular and have status... that type of thing. Yeah. In middle school. LOL. But yeah maybe im just destined to like material objects and not have a man love me?

[caring__1]

Pretty, girly, cute things and material objects are all about you, not what you have to offer a relationship. By focusing on these things, guys probably see you as self-focused and high maintenance. Most girly things are more likely to draw the attention of girls than guys. At your age, guys are more interested in women they can relate to, and they believe would be a supportive partner. If you want a guy to notice you, start by showing him you notice the things he says or does. You've outgrown the girly stage. Leave it behind and start moving forward.

[Asker]

I don't get why people would criticize me for liking girly things but if a woman likes to dress sexy all of a sudden she is considered acceptable because she's supposedly pleasing mans eyes. As if she isn't dressing sexy to benefit herself. But if i like the color pink or sparkly things that means i only care about myself. That makes no sense.

[caring__1]

I'm not saying to not like these things. You ask why men don't ask you out. You can like anything you want, but girly things on someone in her mid 30s probably won't attract men. I also choose an interest that isn't very attractive to most women (agriculture), but I understand and accept that my choice will limit potential partners. If you want to attract men, it's important to consider what has value to them. Once, again, no one's saying you need to do what attracts men, but don't head east if you want to end up in the west.

[Asker]

That nakes no sense either. Women and men are opposites. Leta agree tio disagree.

[caring__1]

I'm OK with that, but you're the one who wants a man in her life. There are many types of men and women, so they're not all opposites. You can always find people who like what you like. www.boohooman.com/.../MAN00474.html

[Asker]

I dont wanna click links. What is that? And i wanna be a hosuewife and mom full time. So if i take up manly interests who will raise the kids and tend to home?

[caring__1]

The link just takes you to a photo of a man who enjoys wearing pink sparkly clothes. You don't need to take things to extremes to be able to connect with people who are different from you. By showing guys you notice them and see value in what they have to offer, they'll be more likely to notice and appreciate you.

[Asker]

Im very quiet at first so its hard to really do what you say. Also that pretty gross if a guy is wearing womens attire.

[caring__1]

If you're very quiet at first, start by focusing on an activity rather than connecting with people. You could volunteer at an animal shelter. Dogs don't care what or if you say anything. Get involved helping an annual non-profit fund raiser. Become support staff for an organization that supports a cause you believe in. Join a photography club and show interest in learning.

The guy isn't wearing women's attire. It is a suit designed for men. It's just that it is pink and has sparkles. Some guys like wearing pink sparkly things.

[Anonymous]

At 30-35, I don’t think it’s a good idea to use middle school as a point of reference, or as a period of time Thats defined who you are as a woman now. What I wonder instead is what your life was like after high school, in your 20s, I also wonder what your lifestyle is like now. If you don’t get out much, or aren’t in places to meet guys, then that can say a lot about why men aren’t asking you out. It’s probably for the better that it wasn’t you your coworker was eyeing, because all that intermingling in the workplace just creates dramas and gossip that you don’t want to be in the center of.

[Slartybartfast]

Most men know the first rule of dating at work is don't.

[Iron_Man]

They will open yourself up make yourself available smile talk

[In_Trance]

must be something you're saying or doing (or not)

[Asker]

Examples?

[In_Trance]

no idea; i know nothing about you

[Asker]

Wow...